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Enough is Enough.


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#51 SpeedwayBoogie

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 04:23 AM

I'll bet if you commit to hanging with the wharf rats, you will forget that you stopped drinking. You'll just be living. Free.

#52 Karen

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Posted 11 July 2012 - 05:52 AM

Nicole.. i suggest (from personl experience with you as a friend) you try.. just try one AA meeting. there are people there who have been sober for many years who know (only because they too at some point in the life) where you are and what you are going through. I am still shocked when i talk to someone new who tells me exactly what im thinking and going through and the guy has not EVER met me before.

there are many many meetings in your area ,even at the fish church.


I have to say....I never thought I would agree with Roo, but I do agree 100 percent with him on this. Give it a go darlin', it could be just what you need. :heart:

((Roo and his wise words))

#53 child_of_boundless_seas

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 06:09 PM

Hi Nikki and all

I have been fighting the same battle, as we all have for years now as well. I got sober for the first time three years ago and have never got more than 3 months put together. I did pretty well from September to May this year, with only 2 episodes in January, but come May it all went to hell again. I guess it was that thinking that I would be ok with just one or two, which unfortunately, I was, so I did it again the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next...but by then it wasn't one or two, it was 5 liters of cheap wine out of a box in my closet, or slamming 12 packs in a matter of 2 or 3 hours. What happened was I got away from meetings and not necessarily the program, but the people who were there that cared about me and helped me and checked in with me. Without them I am lost. My last relapse ended monday and I haven't been able to swallow anything, even my own saliva, since then. I am still naseous. My throat is burned by stomach acid. I just want to eat something but I can't.

I've never been this sick for this long from alcohol. I don't want this anymore and I am scared. I know what to do but sometimes doing it is so hard. I don't know why I wander away from AA. For every stupid comment I hear in a meeting I hear at least 10 that are enlightening, empowering, and exactly what I need to hear on that day. And more importantly people there love me without judgement. I was so scared to go back after being away for a few months but as soon as I walked in an old friend jumped up and yelled "no effin way!!" with the hugest grin on his face and ran over to hug me and tell me that he loves me. It was such a special moment. That's what AA is all about.

Anyway, I can't wait to see you all next week and I can't wait to start feeling healthy again

Justin

#54 Lazy Lightning

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 07:06 PM

I'll bet if you commit to hanging with the wharf rats, you will forget that you stopped drinking. You'll just be living. Free.


Beautiful.

#55 Lazy Lightning

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 07:09 PM

Hi Nikki and all

I have been fighting the same battle, as we all have for years now as well. I got sober for the first time three years ago and have never got more than 3 months put together. I did pretty well from September to May this year, with only 2 episodes in January, but come May it all went to hell again. I guess it was that thinking that I would be ok with just one or two, which unfortunately, I was, so I did it again the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next...but by then it wasn't one or two, it was 5 liters of cheap wine out of a box in my closet, or slamming 12 packs in a matter of 2 or 3 hours. What happened was I got away from meetings and not necessarily the program, but the people who were there that cared about me and helped me and checked in with me. Without them I am lost. My last relapse ended monday and I haven't been able to swallow anything, even my own saliva, since then. I am still naseous. My throat is burned by stomach acid. I just want to eat something but I can't.

I've never been this sick for this long from alcohol. I don't want this anymore and I am scared. I know what to do but sometimes doing it is so hard. I don't know why I wander away from AA. For every stupid comment I hear in a meeting I hear at least 10 that are enlightening, empowering, and exactly what I need to hear on that day. And more importantly people there love me without judgement. I was so scared to go back after being away for a few months but as soon as I walked in an old friend jumped up and yelled "no effin way!!" with the hugest grin on his face and ran over to hug me and tell me that he loves me. It was such a special moment. That's what AA is all about.

Anyway, I can't wait to see you all next week and I can't wait to start feeling healthy again

Justin


That is some powerful stuff, there. Good journey, my friend.

#56 George

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Posted 12 July 2012 - 08:10 PM

The beautiful thing about the Wharf Rats is total acceptance. Come,hang,listen,share. There is more love and strength in those meetings than I have ever found anywhere else.

#57 Mr Bo Berry

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Posted 13 July 2012 - 02:16 AM

Nikki, Terry and I are both new to this. Make sure you come hang with us at Vibes ok?

#58 roo

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Posted 13 July 2012 - 01:24 PM

Nikki, Terry and I are both new to this. Make sure you come hang with us at Vibes ok?


i would love to stop by and say hi to you cats!!

#59 nikkiblue

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Posted 13 July 2012 - 10:44 PM

Nikki, Terry and I are both new to this. Make sure you come hang with us at Vibes ok?


yes. I love you both. are you in VIP?

Thanks Roo and karen and especially deadphan who I know you've been through some rough shit.... And everyone else for support. Tonight I was going to go to the supermarket, but I KNOW I will come home with a 6 pack... Its a friday night darnit!!! and im home alone with a sink filled with dishes and grocery shopping and vibes packing to do! What better fun then to do it with a 6 pack, right? lol. Grrr. well, bottom line is that Im not going to leave this apartment tonight. lol. :)

#60 nikkiblue

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 01:01 AM

Ordered chinese food and kept busy staring at my closet to figure out what clothes I was bringing to Vibes. :) I made it through the hump. lol.

#61 Mr Bo Berry

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 02:49 AM

We will be in boardie but you will see us.

#62 kenbud

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 03:03 AM

good luck, it's hard but support is there.

#63 nikkiblue

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 12:22 PM

We will be in boardie but you will see us.


oh, were in boardie too! I'm sure we will b close. :)

#64 nikkiblue

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Posted 14 July 2012 - 12:22 PM

good luck, it's hard but support is there.


Thanks Ken! :)

#65 sums

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Posted 16 July 2012 - 12:44 PM

child of boundless seas, there are things that can help you with your stomach! one of the best things is to get some charcoal tablets. you can get them at any vitamin or health food store. they will absorb all that stomach acid and the poisons from the alcohol and help to neutralize your system.

the other thing (and this is going to sound weird!) is apple cider vinegar. not any other kind of vinegar, just apple cider vinegar. it will help to balance your whole system from the acidic state it's in over to alkalinity. start small, like a teaspoon or two in 4 oz of water.

good stuff :thup:

#66 child_of_boundless_seas

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 07:44 PM

child of boundless seas, there are things that can help you with your stomach! one of the best things is to get some charcoal tablets. you can get them at any vitamin or health food store. they will absorb all that stomach acid and the poisons from the alcohol and help to neutralize your system.

the other thing (and this is going to sound weird!) is apple cider vinegar. not any other kind of vinegar, just apple cider vinegar. it will help to balance your whole system from the acidic state it's in over to alkalinity. start small, like a teaspoon or two in 4 oz of water.

good stuff :thup:


thanks Sums!! it worked, well I didn't get the charcoal but the vinegar! that and some chicken bone marrow broth a friend made for me. That stuff is like a miracle drug. I am so thankful to be feeling better. I got myself the most amazing sponsor today and I can't wait to have a fantastic sober and magical vibes weekend with you all. My goal is to enjoy every minute of this summer in good health. I went for a swim in the ocean today and was so thankful just to be up and about and enjoying the world. 8 days sober now and hopefully this is the end of the last three years of slipping and sliding.

#67 Karen

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 02:56 AM

:heart:

#68 nikkiblue

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Posted 29 July 2012 - 07:05 PM

So, an update is that I really never made it past day 12. nothing outrageous, and I wasn't excessive at vibes, either, but i do love my beer. And, yea, thank God I was able to drink all of Gregoir's friends beers...that was awesome, plus the leftovers from TASB.

I guess enough isnt enough yet...I heart beers...moderation is my goal.

#69 SpeedwayBoogie

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 12:49 AM

When I stopped there was only one person that I really believed knew what I was going through. She had been by my side through most of my bottom and stopped just before I did. I knew that she had gone through and made it to the other side. I stuck to her like glue for months. I didn't trust anyone else.
I'm sure there are people like that who you know, who have stopped and you can trust.
Call on them when you get sick of it all. You know where to find them, and you know that life is not over for them just because they stopped getting high on drugs and booze. Life for them has just started over.

#70 Eco

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 01:47 AM

So, an update is that I really never made it past day 12. nothing outrageous, and I wasn't excessive at vibes, either, but i do love my beer. And, yea, thank God I was able to drink all of Gregoir's friends beers...that was awesome, plus the leftovers from TASB.

I guess enough isnt enough yet...I heart beers...moderation is my goal.


I just mentioned in another thread but I'll mention it here as well, try the NA Kaliber beers. They actually taste good and if it's taste you are going after they will pacify it. Or maybe a mix of one real beer to one Kaliber......beats the one real beer to one bottle of water I guess.

#71 roo

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 04:28 AM

I just mentioned in another thread but I'll mention it here as well, try the NA Kaliber beers. They actually taste good and if it's taste you are going after they will pacify it. Or maybe a mix of one real beer to one Kaliber......beats the one real beer to one bottle of water I guess.


hi.. my name is Randy ,i'm an alcoholic. i didnt drink alcohol of any kind because i liked the taste of alchol. i drank to get fucked up. preference of taste for me only played a part in what made the alcohol more tolerable to get fucked up faster.

it is my belief (and i'm sure i'm not the only one) that if people drank beer for taste and not to get fucked up.. NA "beers" would be a multi billion dollar a year industry and not Alcoholic beers.

#72 SpeedwayBoogie

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 05:47 AM

Agreed. Generally speaking, we abstain from all drugs. That's the point of Wharf Rats. We are not a group that can tell someone 'how to drink safely' or how to cut back on the their drug use.

#73 George

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:51 AM

Good luck with moderation. It never worked for me for very long. Remember there is help and support if you need it.

#74 In A Silent Way

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 02:23 PM

I must have skipped school the day they taught moderation. :cheesy:

#75 deadphan

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 03:57 AM

good luck with moderation. tried it myself before i got serious about sobriety. worked for a little while, and then it didn't. everyone's different though. i was told early on, if you think you have a problem and think you might be an alcoholic, chances are that you do have a problem and you are an alcoholic as non alcoholics generally don't have those thoughts. good luck, the door's always open.

#76 china cat

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Posted 07 August 2012 - 03:49 AM

I did not witness moderation at Vibes.

love you.

Facing the truth upfront rather than turning from it will keep your life moving in a forward and positive direction.


Most of us have had the experience of being in possession of a piece of truth that we were afraid to share because we knew it would not be well received. There are also instances in which we ourselves have been unable to handle some truth confronting us. This might be a small truth, such as not wanting to see that our car needs repairs because we don’t want to pay for them, or a large truth, such as not fully accepting that someone close to us is pushing us away. Usually the truth is evident, and we can see it if we choose, but we have elaborate ways of hiding the truth form ourselves, no matter how apparent it is.

For the most part, we avoid the truth because it scares us, or makes us angry, or makes us feel like we don’t know what to do. We often create our lives based on a particular understanding, and if that understanding turns out to be fully or even partially incorrect, we may feel that our whole sense of reality is being threatened. It takes a strong person to face the truth in circumstances like these, and many of us run for cover instead. Nevertheless, we can only avoid the truth for so long before it begins to make itself known in ever more forceful ways.

Ultimately, there is no way to avoid the truth, no matter how painful it is, so the sooner we let down our defenses, the better. When we know the truth and accept that we may have to adjust our lives to accommodate, we are in alignment with reality. At the same time, we can be patient with people around us who have a hard time seeing the truth, because we know how painful it can be. Whatever the truth is, we make a sincere effort not to close our eyes to it, but instead to be grateful that we have access to it.


#77 nikkiblue

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 03:21 AM

<3 May the truth be with you <3

#78 nikkiblue

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 03:21 AM

& actually, I think I've been pretty darn up front about the truth. :lol:

#79 china cat

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 03:34 AM

Nik

Just responding to the moderation comment - I and others were pretty worried about you at Vibes - what I saw seemed excessive.

I care about you and I'm not really sure what I should do - mind my business or share my concern. So, I guess I opted for sharing my concern.


I'm an alcoholic. I've been fighting this problem my entire life, and I've been in denial that I am able to drink. I can't.

I don't understand myself. I guess that's part of the disease, but what the heck am I thinking when I decided to get myself so drunk that I don't even know what I'm doing or saying. I can't remember anything the next day. Poor Augie had to deal with me throwing up on myself at Jnjn's birthday party. I've tried to stop last year, but somehow convinced myself that it was OK to drink again.... and it's been snowballing lately. I need to get control of myself, and I have to believe in myself that I can do this. What, am I going to wait until something REALLY bad happens to learn? How have I not learned already?

Enough is enough. My name is nicole, and I can't drink. It's just that simple. I can do this.



So, an update is that I really never made it past day 12. nothing outrageous, and I wasn't excessive at vibes, either, but i do love my beer. And, yea, thank God I was able to drink all of Gregoir's friends beers...that was awesome, plus the leftovers from TASB.

I guess enough isnt enough yet...I heart beers...moderation is my goal.



#80 nikkiblue

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 09:03 AM

:) Thanks girl. I love you too. seriously.

#81 Tim the Beek

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 12:36 PM

Nikki <3 :)

You know I'm always here to chat if'n you want to...

#82 CharlieHarper

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 09:19 PM

One of my favorite passages from the Big Book

"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real
alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally
different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our
drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts
to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow,
someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession
of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is
astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost
selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The
delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be
smashed."

--- Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 3