7 replies to this topic

[TakeAStepBack]

[Julius]

you first

[capt_morgan]

so this midget and lesbian walks into a bar....






....i dont remember the rest but ur mothers a whore

[Occifer Boland]

..true story...
..So.. this one time.. when i was 12 years old.. i wake up and my "private area" doesn't feel right.. i go in the bathroom and take a look.. and it looks like all my skin from my "twig and berries" is falling off and burnt... after just letting go the feeling of embarrasment, i tell my mother.. and she wants to see it... after 20 minutes of deciding to drop my pants and show her... i do it... she observes and becomes concerned.. she doesn't know what the fuck is wrong... she said it looked like my penis was sunburned for 2 days and is now peeling... would make sense if i sunbathed in the nude.. but it was November.. anyway. 5 minutes later, my brother walks past.. crying from laughter... somehow in my sleep, he poured Elmers Glue down my pants in his own drunken prank.. that's my story..

[TEO]

[KrisNYG]

Oh boy, STORY TIME!!! Tell another one Occifer.

[Occifer Boland]

VH1 storytellers has got nothing on me... so here is another one.. kinda contradicts my other thread of the night.... but not quite the same...
bring it back to 1999... i am living with my girlfriend... well she is living with me at my parent's house... .. anyway.. toward the end of our relationship.. i started seeing someone else.. So, one night.. after me and live-in girlfriend went to sleep.. i went to "new" girls house, which was not even a mile away.. we drank some vodka.. and actually, just talked.. we didn't do any foul play, not hippidy dippidy.. not rump shaking... just talked.. cause i was a wuss and felt bad cheating (that night, at least). . after 2 hours..i go back to my car. and i have 5 voicemails.. 4 of them are from the live-in girlfriend.. going Crazy , thinking i was abducted or murdered... the other voicemail is from the police.. saying.."your girlfriend is very concerned where you are... it would be in your best interest to return home..". So.. i make the 30 second drive home... the cop car is still in front of my parents house.. i see the cop talking to girlfriend.. i look at them.. and proceed right to back door of house.. they chase me... and ask where the "fuck" i have been.. i say i went for a drive to the beach( my parents lived a few blocks away from beach).. the girlfriend asks why i smell like alcohol... i tell her that she is crazy and it's just bug spray... the cop laughs and tells the girlfriend he just wasted and hour of his night..

[deadandgrateful]

I got into a bed with 3 gallons of mayonnaise in it, while terribly work hung over. I havent been able to stand the smell ever since let alone eat it. that was 8 years ago.


and a terrible practical joke that a friend played.