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saying goodbye to my boy


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#1 tyedyedee

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Posted 29 August 2010 - 08:52 PM

my sweet marley (cat) is in failing health and his quality of life is officially not good enough to keep him around selfishly anymore and its breaking my heart :cry: :cry: :cry:
he is going to go to sleep on thursday and i cant stop crying :cry:
he is my boy and i cant imagine not having him around :cry:
he wasnt supposed to live as long as he has and he has had a very good life and i will miss him very very much :cry: :heart:

#2 seany

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Posted 29 August 2010 - 09:54 PM

:heart: (((Dee))) :heart:

Putting down a pet is perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done in life :cry1:
:heart:

#3 musicmomma

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 01:30 AM

:heart: dee i am here for you if you need company. :heart:

#4 Rayzeeday

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 03:04 AM

Do yourself a favor and hold him as he gets the shot and as he goes. The magic will explain itself to you for years to come. I did it with three of my ferrets and hope I get to guide all my pets to the spirit world.:cry1:

#5 sums

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 04:41 AM

((((dee & marley))) :heart: :heart: :heart:

i feel for you :heart:

ray is right, it is very special to have your pet die in your arms. it's like a circle. a perfect send off. i don't know how to explain it adequately.... i'll be thinking about you on thursday. please come here for support. this forum is so supportive for those of us with furry hearts :heart:

#6 Elphaba

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 11:43 AM

not easy, but it's the right thing to do. :heart:

#7 In A Silent Way

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 02:19 PM

:heart:

#8 georgi

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 06:53 PM

Oh Dee, I'm so sorry. :( :heart:

#9 deadheadskier

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 07:07 PM

((((dee & marley))) :heart: :heart: :heart:

i feel for you :heart:

ray is right, it is very special to have your pet die in your arms. it's like a circle. a perfect send off. i don't know how to explain it adequately.... i'll be thinking about you on thursday. please come here for support. this forum is so supportive for those of us with furry hearts :heart:


(((((dee&marley)))))


I agree. I didn't think I could be in the room for when we said goodbye to Blues. I'm glad my wife and I shared that journey with him.

It's so very sad, yet relieving, comforting at the same time.

#10 tyedyedee

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 08:04 PM

he is just not himself anymore
i see flickers of him and those flickers make me *sure* i am making a mistake
but then i see pain in his eyes as he moves or confusion in his eyes cuz he cant see far enough to see where my voice is coming from and i know its his time
i know enough to not drive myself
i will be a mess
thursday is gonna be a wash for me
part of me wants to have someone to keep me company when i get home and part of me wants to be locked in a room to cry for hours :cry:

all i do is THINK about it and i cry
i know it will ease with time but i cant wrap my head around asking someone, PAYING someone to kill him :cry:

intellectually i know its best and everything but :cry:
my heart is breaking
wish i had something to look forward to in the next week or so to distract me :bang:

he is out in the yard right now napping in his spot under the hostas
i am going to spread his ashes in all his favorite places :cry:
god, i miss him so much already :cry:

poor ophelia is gonna be lost without him :undecided:
she is going to be an only-kitty soon :cry:
she will be my last cat though...no more for me...IF i ever get another pet, it will be a dog but i dont see that happening anytime soon due to many reasons

god, it hurts so much :cry:

#11 musicmomma

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 09:29 PM

:heart:

#12 sums

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 10:11 PM

:heart: :heart: :heart:

#13 TEO

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 11:48 PM

(((tyedyedee)))

Much love & comfort :heart:

Wrap yourself in the knowing that you are doing what is right and best for Marley. :heart:

#14 fire_rocket

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 06:27 PM

:heart: So much love to you Dee!! :heart: My heart is breaking for you and Ophelia and Marley. You are making the right choice though- even as hard as it is. :heart:

#15 tyedyedee

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 06:40 PM

i feel so guilty
cant stop crying
his beautiful blue eyes and adorable face pops into my minds eye at the most random times and i break into tears :cry:
i am useless lately...

this is all going on as i face some upheaval in my life in other areas too
i am just overwhelmed and feeling more and more depressed every day

thursday is *the* day
i have never dreaded my day off more in my life :bang:
even after working 8 days in a row, i wish i was working, not going to the vet :cry:



thank you all for taking time to send me thoughts :heart:
it means more than i can express in the typed word

i wonder when my heart will feel "healthy" again? :dunno:

#16 mamapajama

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 06:55 PM

Dee, I cannot imagine. I have never had to deal with this and as an adored dog sleeps at my feet, I ache for you at the thought of what you're going through. I am so sorry.

#17 Rayzeeday

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:39 PM

Just before my first Ferret Nookie got the shot he sparked back to his old self briefly and looked at me happily as if to say thanks dad and thanks for the life. I know I was not seeing things seeing my wife and the vet saw it too. Our vet said he never saw a ferret in his condition live almost eight months after being diagnosed with his ailments. He did an autopsy for his own peace of mine and called us to say there was no reason medically that he lived that long. The power of our bond with our pets is miraculous to say the least. As much as it hurts at the time I would never, I repeat never forgive myself for not sharing their last precious moments with them. Hold Marley, cuddle Marley, and enjoy every last moment of his life with you because you have been and always will be his life. Without your love he would probably have given up a while ago. Your guidance and comforting presence to his end will forever join your spirits and he will never leave you in that sense. In doing this your tears for him as time goes by will always turn into a smile. Look at it this way how many people have we known who have passed that we wished we were there till their end, and because of living circumstances could not be. Remember the soul and spirit is the one thing scientists cannot explain and in todays modern world I find that comforting. So enjoy Marley for every last second its what he and you deserve.:huh:

#18 TEO

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 08:51 PM

Thinking of you Dee :heart:

#19 tyedyedee

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Posted 31 August 2010 - 10:59 PM

thank you guys
so much :cry: :heart:

he just spent the afternoon napping in the yard
we just had a nice cuddle on my bed and i got some kisses
i swear he doesnt know who i am sometimes :undecided:

he has unlimited food and treats right now and on thursday he gets a can of tuna
he can eat to his hearts content
i made the appt for the afternoon so i can spend the morning playing with him :cry:

wish i had pics online so you could see him
he is a beautiful boy :heart:

#20 TEO

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 12:19 AM

So much love :heart:

#21 TEO

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 03:24 PM

Hope you are having a beautiful morning. :heart:

#22 tyedyedee

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 06:24 PM

Hope you are having a beautiful morning. :heart:


thanks darlin :heart:

i opened this morning, actually, so it wasnt beautiful, but i was busy and distracted which was good
now i am home and once it cools a bit, marley will spend his last afternoon in his much-loved backyard :undecided:

i am off tomorrow - first day off in 8 days and i coudnt be more unhappy about being off :cry:
the appt is for tomorrow afternoon (not sure what time yet, i had my mom make the appt cuz i just *couldnt*...)
i plan to spend the morning with marley
smiling with him
watching him sleep
kissing his fuzzy face
telling him how much i love him
feeding him his two favorite things: cottage cheese and tuna fish
the dairy in anything gives him terrible digestion issues but that is a moot point tomorrow :sad:
i am hoping i can distract him with tuna and get him to ride in the car in my arms cuz the carrier makes him so upset...i dont want any of his last minutes to be bad ones...

he will be in my arms when he goes, knowing how loved he is and feeling safe and happy in moms arms :heart:

ok, here go the tears again :sad:

thank you marley...i love you and will miss you so very much :heart: :cry:

#23 sums

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 08:44 PM

much much much love and support :heart: :heart: :heart:

#24 TEO

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 02:23 AM

:heart:

#25 fire_rocket

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 01:48 PM

(((((((((((((((Dee))))))))))))))))) :heart:

Is your mom going with you today?? I know you said you might want to be alone but having someone there with you might help. Much love to you. :heart:

#26 TEO

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 02:07 PM

(((Tyedyedee)))

My heart is with you. :heart:

#27 tyedyedee

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 02:39 PM

my mom is driving me
i know i cant safely drive
i will be a mess :cry:

i hate that todays is the day :bang:

#28 TEO

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 04:03 PM

(((Marley's release from pain)))

Your boy will always be with you. :heart:

#29 mamapajama

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:19 PM

((((((Dee)))))))

#30 Elphaba

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:30 PM

:heart:

#31 TEO

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:42 PM

Peace, love & comfort :heart:

#32 tyedyedee

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 12:10 AM

cant stop reliving it
hope it stops haunting me :cry:

i am gonna miss him so much
he way my sweet boy :heart:

#33 sums

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 01:47 AM

:heart: you just have to transfer your vision of him into your guardian angel cat :heart:

it will take time....... :heart:

#34 TEO

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 03:43 AM

It will Dee, and as the pain recedes, you will feel him there watching over you. :heart:

#35 Rayzeeday

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 06:21 AM

All my warmest regards and sympathies-Ray:dunno:

#36 nancykind

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Posted 04 September 2010 - 11:55 AM

more love in this thread for you Dee. it is no doubt one of the hardest things to deal with and no matter what, it will take time and you and ophelia will heal. :heart: i said it in the other thread too, but i really mean it. focus on the best memories you can think of. over all his life. even from when you first got him and all the funny little things he did. remember that time he.......... :heart: :heart: :heart:

#37 forestdancer

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 05:16 PM

(((((hugs)))))))

#38 tyedyedee

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 06:55 PM

i am picking up his ashes tomorrow
:cry:

i think he is still in the house
i swear i can hear him meowing and see him out of the corner of my eye and stuff...not in a bad way, just that i think he doesnt want to leave his mom :heart:

am i out of my mind to think this? :dunno: :blush:

#39 TEO

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 07:03 PM

I still see Fluffhead looking out, and he has been gone from this physical life for years.

(((feel the love))) :heart:

#40 forestdancer

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 07:14 PM

i am picking up his ashes tomorrow
:cry:

i think he is still in the house
i swear i can hear him meowing and see him out of the corner of my eye and stuff...not in a bad way, just that i think he doesnt want to leave his mom :heart:

am i out of my mind to think this? :dunno: :blush:


Not at all they are family!

#41 tyedyedee

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 09:53 PM

it really is bizarre
either i am having auditory hallucinations or he is still here with me
last night, i woke up cuz i heard him
i could still hear him when i woke up
it wasnt ophelia cuz she was curled up next to me...
but it didnt upset me, it just confused me then it made me smile :heart:

i still think about him a lot and sometimes i still cry...but i find it reassuring somehow that i can still hear him

(dont send the men in white coats over to get me :undecided: )

#42 musicmomma

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:05 PM

i :heart: u dee

#43 Spiderweb

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 11:12 PM

This makes me so sad. Our pets are our besties.

Your not crazy at all, he is still with you:heart:

~Mwah

#44 vinandtonic

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 09:27 PM

he is in cat heaven, eating all of the cottage cheese and tuna that he wants, watching over you. :heart::heart:

#45 Rayzeeday

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 11:42 PM

His soul and yours are one. Don't be afraid for in times of stress and need he will periodically return to guide you it is simply his gift to you for the life you gave him and the love bond created through years of care. By you guiding his soul to the afterlife nature made sure a piece of his soul will always remain with you. It scared the shit out of me at first but after six years my Nookie will still pop in when I least expect to calm my soul.:wink:

#46 Gwendolyn

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Posted 21 September 2010 - 06:02 PM

:heart::heart::heart:

#47 musicmomma

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Posted 18 January 2011 - 01:04 PM

:heart: i hope you're heart is healing dee. it might give me faith mine will heal in time. :heart:

#48 tyedyedee

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Posted 18 January 2011 - 03:32 PM

did you lose a furbaby, melissa? :undecided:
i am so sorry mama :heart:

and yes, time did dull it a bit, but i will always get a sharp pang of missing him sooooooo much at certain times

i feel so guilty cuz i look at my ophelia sometimes and ask her why she cant be more like my marley
i feel like a sucky mom
i just had such a close and special bond with marley
and altho ophie certainly loves me, it is on her terms strictly and she has definite boundry/tactile issues which preclude the snuggling and loving that marley engaged in with me
i really miss it :cry:

please hug the girls and mike for me and have them hug you for me back :heart:

#49 musicmomma

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Posted 18 January 2011 - 04:24 PM

we're putting booger to sleep today. there are some pretty devastated girls here right now. thank you dee. :cry1:

#50 tyedyedee

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Posted 18 January 2011 - 04:30 PM

:cry:
i am so sorry you guys
:cry:
:heart: