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Putting your kid through college....helping or hurting?


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#1 Karen

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 05:30 PM

Are you helping or hurting your kid by paying their way through college? I mean paying for ALL of it.
Tuition, books, rent, food, phone...

On the one hand, I think it's a great thing to do because why grow up faster than you have to and have debt when you are coming out of college.

On the other hand, when will they learn to be fiscally responsbile?

Discuss.

#2 TEO

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 05:35 PM

In my hands on experience it helped and turned out a fiscally responsible child. Note he did work during the summer for spending cash and was very low maintenance, no $ were spent on extras.

#3 fire_rocket

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 06:13 PM

I sure am glad I didn't get out of school with thousands in loans! My grandfather gave us all stocks when we were born and my Dad managed them up until college came. My older brother didn't do so well in the stock market so my parents had to pay for some of his schooling, but I had money left over even after 4 1/2 years of school.

I always held down jobs in the summer and even at school for extra spending money. I came out very fiscally responsible b/c once I was done with school I was basically on my own (the way I wanted it).

#4 Mama Kel

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 06:21 PM

My parents paid for college, room & board & books (all school expenses) and I was responsible for the extras (fun money, car & expenses, travel). So I had to work during summers & the school year. I am so thankful I didn't have loans to pay back after college.

I think creating a fiscally responsible adult child starts when they are young. Teaching them the value of money, saving, making them work for what they want throughout life is what does it - not just making them help pay for college. My mom did this for us & paid for college & me & my brothers are all pretty good w/ money.

So now I do this w/ my girls (5 & 7). They have piggy banks, they earn $$ through chores & other things. Sometimes they are tempted to run to the dollar store to spend it, but we talk about saving & how they can possibly get something better if they wait. Right now they are both saving their $$ for Strangecreek

#5 TEO

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 07:15 PM

Mama Kel has it down of course, children need to learn the value of money/fiscal responsibility/making choices and the younger the better

#6 Mama Kel

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 12:23 AM

Thanks :) I hope to pay for college for my girls - it's a lot of money though :afro:

#7 Karen

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:10 PM

:thup:

#8 PeaceFrog

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:15 PM

If you've got the money to invest in your child's education, I personally think it would be selfish not to do so.

supposedly my parents didn't have the money so I took out a loan.

Helping or hurting?

I think helping.

#9 deadheadskier

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 02:58 PM

My first time around, my parents paid for my Bachelor's degree.

I have now returned to school and I'm paying for it myself. I can tell you I am FAR more committed to school this time around and part of the reason is that it's coming on my own dime.

I think there are number of lessons to be taught regarding fiscal responsibility outside of whether the parent or child pays for the education. The most important aspect being what type of degree the child chooses and at what school. For instance, getting a degree in a field in demand such as engineering at a State University is probably a lot more fiscally responsible than getting a liberal arts degree from an expensive private college. College is an investment and making sure you get proper financial return on that investment is critical IMO.

#10 MeOmYo

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 03:07 PM

I paid for mine, came out with 17-18K in loans for a BS. This was mostly done by scholarships after my first year as I did the bare minimum in HS becasue I worked year round. Although one of my parents could have paid for my college 10 times over, I don't hold it against them. With that said, if I have a child, I would do everything I could to pay for their college, but there would be limitations. As DHS said, $50k/year for a liberal arts degree and I will beat you with a stupid stick before paying a red cent.

#11 jnjn

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 03:34 PM

helping. like some others have already mentioned....it's incredibly important to start teaching a child fiscal responsibility early on in their lives. if they grow to understand this, they'll be responsible regardless of whether or not their education is paid for. i wouldn't provide my kid w/ a completely free ride, though. having a part time job & being able to pay for their own little expenses here & there is just as important as teaching them the value of money & responsibility at a young age imo.
i'm still paying the loans from my bfa. i've considered going back to school to get a grad degree, but there's no way i can take out more loans until the ones i have are paid off (or nearly paid off) & that sucks...big time.

#12 TEO

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 03:42 PM

I paid for my own, however do not believe I would have taken it any less seriously if my parents were footing the bill.
Then again I went as I had a specific career goal, not just to go to college.

#13 Mama Kel

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 06:50 PM

My parents paid but if my GPA went down, they were pulling the plug - so that was motivation enough. But I've always known what I wanted to do & I'm a pretty self-motivated, driven kind of person.

I've watched MANY family & friends go to college b/c that's what you do at 18, with no direction, no goals & just spend mom & pops $$. That will not fly in my house. Go get a job until you have a reason to go to college. Otherwise it's a waste of money & time.

#14 MeOmYo

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Posted 15 May 2012 - 06:55 PM

I didn't go to school for a year after high school. After realizing I couldn't afford to move out of my mother's house, I decided I needed to do something.

#15 cdrhead

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Posted 16 May 2012 - 10:43 AM

I don't have the money....is what it comes down to. I told Sarah how much I could give her this year....her first and we will see what happens in the future. She is working hard at saving money from babysitting and yard work. I plan to help her pay off the loans as best I can down the road but by that time Megan will be there also.

I think it could do nothing but help in most cases :)

#16 Lazy Lightning

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Posted 16 May 2012 - 11:54 AM

My folks paid for my and my siblings classes and supplies, and we all lived with them while in school so we had no rent to pay and didn't have to buy groceries. Transportation, phone, lunches while at school, and extra-cirricular activities were all our own responsibilities, and we had a full-time jobs whenever classes were out.

Of course it was helpful - I took it as seriously as I would have had I paid for the tuition myself.

#17 vinandtonic

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 03:07 PM

In undergrad, my parents paid for tuition (after my scholarships were used up), books, and rent. I had jobs (yes, more than one) to pay for food, utilities, entertainment, etc. I did not have a car. I got a bicycle my junior year but other than that my roomates had a car so they would drive us tot he grocery store and laundromat.

For grad school I was entirely on my own, so I had student loans and jobs.

#18 Eco

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Posted 19 May 2012 - 05:21 PM

My father paid for my first year and I pissed away his money since the college offered free skiing at Burke Mountain VT. I hardly went to classes since I was busy having fun and standing in line to get more free passes that I would sell for beer money. The plug got pulled and I had to pay for most of my own way. From that point on, I had a high GPA and would downright pissy with my teachers is they called out sick since I am spending MY money and their ass better be there to do their job. I really feel that working jobs and spending my money on my education put me on the right path.

For my kids they have a few choices, Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, pay it yourself or I'll help out if a high GPA happens. I really fell strong that the ROTC program is a great deal and the military for a few years can enhance their life.

#19 Mama Kel

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Posted 21 May 2012 - 01:06 AM

For grad school I was entirely on my own, so I had student loans and jobs.


I also paid for grad school

#20 Terry Bo Berry

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Posted 23 May 2012 - 04:08 PM

Single parent with 3 kids and no real savings here...

Undergrad college costs are/were covered using a combination of scholarships & grants, student loans (theirs), parent PLUS loans (mine) and payment plans (mine). Spending money was mostly theirs from part time work but I still chip in.

Grad school is 100% on them.

My kids certainly have a feel for struggling to make ends meet and the value of a dollar.
My oldest is $30K in debt with an Master's in Social Work. She is a poor family therapist but she is doing what she has always yearned to do- help people.

My middle daughter graduated from UConn and is working on a master's in Sustainability. She is currently living off of student loans and I have no idea how she is going to pay for it all....

My youngest is a sophomore at Keene. Who knows....

They all had an option to live at home and save some costs, go to community college, etc., but each chose to take on some debt. I hope it works.

#21 gregoir

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 12:57 PM

My parents paid for my undergrad tuition + room and board. I paid for books, spending money etc. Worked 25 hours a week while an undergrad. I paid for my graduate. If I could do it again I would of never gone to graduate school. complete waste of money in the current job market.

#22 Mama Kel

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Posted 23 June 2012 - 11:01 PM

aren't you a teacher Greg? You would've lost your teaching credential without it. It will come around <3

#23 gregoir

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Posted 24 June 2012 - 09:08 PM

aren't you a teacher Greg? You would've lost your teaching credential without it. It will come around <3


Going to lose my credential after next year if I don't find employment and complete the required development hours

#24 fire_rocket

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 03:16 PM

Hey you're not a kindergarten teacher are you? I know my town is looking for the 3rd new kindy teacher to start in the fall..

#25 Mama Kel

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 02:07 AM

Going to lose my credential after next year if I don't find employment and complete the required development hours


seriously? that sucks :( can you file for an extension? I did that with my permanent certification. I would think they would allow it. Sooooooooooooo many teachers are out of work. Can you sub to get those hours?

#26 gregoir

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 05:09 AM

I will have to look into an extension. It's the professional development hours that will screw me. Having no district to pay for them makes them kind of hard to get.

#27 Mama Kel

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 10:55 PM

Around here, hired teachers are paying for their own professional development now!!! What is your degree in? The state offers some free seminars & there are some cheap ones out there. I pay for my own but usually keep them under $50. I could forward you the ones I know about, but they are all early childhood & usually special ed related.

#28 tiedyesky

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 02:30 AM

My father paid for my first year and I pissed away his money since the college offered free skiing at Burke Mountain VT. I hardly went to classes since I was busy having fun and standing in line to get more free passes that I would sell for beer money. The plug got pulled and I had to pay for most of my own way. From that point on, I had a high GPA and would downright pissy with my teachers is they called out sick since I am spending MY money and their ass better be there to do their job. I really feel that working jobs and spending my money on my education put me on the right path.

For my kids they have a few choices, Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, pay it yourself or I'll help out if a high GPA happens. I really fell strong that the ROTC program is a great deal and the military for a few years can enhance their life.


My oldest joined for free college... I knew she was too lazy for me to pay for all of it. I told her I'd match every penny she put in, but she realized she was too lazy too :lol: So she signed with the USAF w/o my knowledge and its the best thing shes ever done. She's got a bachelor in psych and is going for her masters in holistic health. She is still full active duty. over 12 yrs now

Hurt or help? It depends on the child I think

#29 Karen

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Posted 03 August 2012 - 04:17 AM

Hurt or help? It depends on the child I think


This.


The tuition bill for our girl just came in.... :bang:

#30 Geminimoon

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Posted 11 September 2012 - 02:11 PM

I plan on trying to have a savings account for my son so that his BA is paid for.....

It will have strings attached such as having a good GPA, not taking 5 years, and must start college within one year after graduating High School.

I am sure I will add a few other qualifiers to it. :wink:

If I can save now so he is not strapped with the burden of repaying loans and struggling I am ok with that.

He will have to pay for his own MA.

#31 Geminimoon

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Posted 11 September 2012 - 02:13 PM

My parents paid for my undergrad tuition + room and board. I paid for books, spending money etc. Worked 25 hours a week while an undergrad. I paid for my graduate. If I could do it again I would of never gone to graduate school. complete waste of money in the current job market.


Yeah but depending on where you live you have to have a MA..... New York requires all teachers to hold a MA. So for me to be able to have a full license I have to have a MA.... can be in anything.

#32 Mama Kel

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Posted 11 September 2012 - 10:20 PM

yeah but you can start work without the MA. My parents paid for the BA. I taught full time & went to grad school at night & paid for my MA

#33 hoagie

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 01:11 PM

I plan on trying to have a savings account for my son so that his BA is paid for.....

It will have strings attached such as having a good GPA, not taking 5 years, and must start college within one year after graduating High School.

I am sure I will add a few other qualifiers to it. :wink:

If I can save now so he is not strapped with the burden of repaying loans and struggling I am ok with that.

He will have to pay for his own MA.


This assumes he doesnt drop out of HS and star following some band around endlessly ;)

#34 Geminimoon

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 11:09 PM

This assumes he doesnt drop out of HS and star following some band around endlessly ;)


He can go on tour for one year after graduation..... I built that it *must start college within one year after graduating High School :wink:

#35 sums

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Posted 14 September 2012 - 02:42 AM

i never went to college. never had enough to send my boys either. but makai took out loans and got his AA. didn't care to go further, i think he just wanted to prove to me he could do it since he dropped out of high school. and he graduated with honors. i know an AA isn't worth shit but it was one of the proudest moments of my life when he walked across that stage :)

forest lived with us while he went through his massage school program. he was completely funded by financial aid and we fed & housed him so really that whole experience was zero dollars! he still has yet to get his license....

none of us are what you would call "fiscally responsible" so i have no idea :lol: but we are all very happy so that is worth a lot more. to me anyway :)