So, I am finally getting back into dating after being single for a long time.. have been letting things cool off after breaking up with my ex months ago. Anyway, I join a meetup, and go on one mountain bike ride. After the ride a few of us grab a beer and lunch. One of the girls on the ride gets my info (I think little of it) and asks me to like her FB page. Soon thereafter, we become FB friends. That's where the trouble begins. She begins liking and commenting on EVERYTHING, and posting to my wall, tagging daily ect. Even though I'm no longer FB friends with my ex, several mutual friends warn her about my new girlfriend. I was away from a computer so had no idea, this girl was plaster hearts and cutie comments all over my stuff (did I mention she is 30?)
I finally get a chance to look it all over, but the damage has already been done. I immediately defriend and block the girl, which I think removes all tags (not sure) - and text her why she got defriended. Had some damage control to do today, including my ex's mom. The main problem was not just that this girl blew this up, but that she looks terrible so everyone thought I had this awful downgrade after my ex. like, look at him now.
The girls response to my explination... "I guess that's why I asked if you were single" - tell me, how does the knowledge of a person being single authorize you to pull such dumb shit on FB??????? Ugh, didn't need this mess. Lesson, careful between who are your friends and who are your "friends"
Facebook disaster
Started by
Heady
, Apr 05 2012 04:06 AM
38 replies to this topic
#5
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- VibeTribe
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Posted 05 April 2012 - 01:46 PM
The main problem was not just that this girl blew this up, but that she looks terrible so everyone thought I had this awful downgrade after my ex. like, look at him now.
I don't have room in my life for people who would think that way, and I don't make room in my head for worrying about what other people think about who I spend my time with.
#7
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- VibeTribe
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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:33 PM
what Tim said, or as I less gently put it - who gives a fuck what other people snivel about... facebook just makes the old 'time rumor mill instaneous.
or as some little dark skinned boy shouted to his friend the other day: Save the drama for your momma nig... okay the last word is irrelevant.
or as some little dark skinned boy shouted to his friend the other day: Save the drama for your momma nig... okay the last word is irrelevant.
#8
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Posted 05 April 2012 - 03:42 PM
I don't have room in my life for people who would think that way, and I don't make room in my head for worrying about what other people think about who I spend my time with.
Words to live by.
I fondly refer to the removal of those type people from my life as "shedding the schwag".
#9
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- VibeGuide
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- 15,948 posts
VibeGuide
Posted 05 April 2012 - 04:25 PM
I don't have room in my life for people who would think that way, and I don't make room in my head for worrying about what other people think about who I spend my time with.
Tim, it is an honor to have your influence in this life.
#10
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- VibeTribe
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Posted 05 April 2012 - 04:28 PM
. The main problem was not just that this girl blew this up, but that she looks terrible so everyone thought I had this awful downgrade after my ex. like, look at him now.
I don't have room in my life for people who would think that way, and I don't make room in my head for worrying about what other people think about who I spend my time with.
*like*
Seriously, heady, you worry too much about the wrong shit sometimes. You've got a stalker and you're worried that she's not as beautiful as your ex and people might get the wrong idea?
Prioritize and move on 
#16
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- VibeTribe
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Posted 05 April 2012 - 05:00 PM
I thought up a response but it seems like everyone else covered it.
It's sort of a milestone in life when a person can overcome the need to impress their friends and family with a good looking date/GF/wife over having a true connection.....in easier terms, it might look like a moped on the outside but if it rides like a Harley who the fuc cares. It takes a man to have pride in his mate, it takes a boy to care more about what his friends think of her.
Safe riding and make sure that nutty bitch never finds me on Facebook. :-)
It's sort of a milestone in life when a person can overcome the need to impress their friends and family with a good looking date/GF/wife over having a true connection.....in easier terms, it might look like a moped on the outside but if it rides like a Harley who the fuc cares. It takes a man to have pride in his mate, it takes a boy to care more about what his friends think of her.
Safe riding and make sure that nutty bitch never finds me on Facebook. :-)
#28
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- VibeTribe
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Posted 09 April 2012 - 03:49 PM
It's less the fact that she's 30 and not very attractive. It's that she took me being single as an opportunity to bomb my FB (with constant updates tagging me in creepy pictures I didn't know she took, hearts next to my tags etc) while I was not able to check it or do anything about it. She caused me a very uncomfortable situation by presenting herself in a way that made her seem like my new girlfriend, even though I'd only know her for THREE DAYS and to that point had gone for a bike ride and took her snowboarding. The way my facebook appeared, she made all these creepy updates, they were non stop and I only found out about the damage when I got back into service.
Even if she was gorgeous, and not a moron, I would have been upset because of the impression she gave off that we were suddenly a thing. I have many mutual friends with my x on FB, I'm just saying this wreaked havok and was a judgement error to invite her into my FB world. Lesson learned!
She's a stage 5 clinger, who's ropes been cut. She still had the nerve to text me and tell her I owed her something bc of blocking her on FB. Some people just don't get it.
If this was a year ago I wouldn't care, but I have a kid and I care about the image of those that are perceived to be close to me, and perhaps my child. I realized this girl is not someone I want close to either of us, just a little too late. Doesn't matter now
Even if she was gorgeous, and not a moron, I would have been upset because of the impression she gave off that we were suddenly a thing. I have many mutual friends with my x on FB, I'm just saying this wreaked havok and was a judgement error to invite her into my FB world. Lesson learned!
She's a stage 5 clinger, who's ropes been cut. She still had the nerve to text me and tell her I owed her something bc of blocking her on FB. Some people just don't get it.
If this was a year ago I wouldn't care, but I have a kid and I care about the image of those that are perceived to be close to me, and perhaps my child. I realized this girl is not someone I want close to either of us, just a little too late. Doesn't matter now
#31
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 04:02 AM
Given your further statements and the fact that you're maintaining a relationship with your ex- (and kid, and friends and family of ex, etc.), I understand your concerns a little bit more now, J. I wasn't trying to harsh on you, but the way you presented it originally seemed to place more importance on her superficialities than the fact that this woman was basically stalking you. If she were a 24 yo supermodel stalking you, would it have made a difference? That's a valid question to consider...
Anyway, glad you severed ties and are looking out for your family
Anyway, glad you severed ties and are looking out for your family
#32
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 04:13 AM
Thank you for seeing the bigger picture of what was really going on. I don't always explain things so well, and yes, will agree that my priorities weren't in the right place from the beginning.
I'm seperated, my ex has moved on, and I felt like what I was doing was acceptable though I must admit part of me taking this person out was in spite to my ex suddenly seeing someone new. I felt an urgent need to move on with my life just to stop thinking about her. It was a childish way to act..
I realized out of all this what I said in my last post, "I care about the image of those that are perceived to be close to me, and therefor perhaps my child." We live in a world where if you're not careful, it' can be hard to keep your personal life private. In my opinion, what I do when I don't have my son is my own business. Turns out it doesn't work like that when you meet someone who feels they must update everything they do on FB. Out of this it's made me think about my actions and forced me to be more honest with myself.. about those exact priorities I think you're criticizing.
And yeah, if she was a 24 yo supermodel, it would have stirred up an equal amount of shit. Probably even more so
I'm seperated, my ex has moved on, and I felt like what I was doing was acceptable though I must admit part of me taking this person out was in spite to my ex suddenly seeing someone new. I felt an urgent need to move on with my life just to stop thinking about her. It was a childish way to act..
I realized out of all this what I said in my last post, "I care about the image of those that are perceived to be close to me, and therefor perhaps my child." We live in a world where if you're not careful, it' can be hard to keep your personal life private. In my opinion, what I do when I don't have my son is my own business. Turns out it doesn't work like that when you meet someone who feels they must update everything they do on FB. Out of this it's made me think about my actions and forced me to be more honest with myself.. about those exact priorities I think you're criticizing.
And yeah, if she was a 24 yo supermodel, it would have stirred up an equal amount of shit. Probably even more so
#34
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Posted 10 April 2012 - 04:50 AM
Thank you for seeing the bigger picture of what was really going on. I don't always explain things so well, and yes, will agree that my priorities weren't in the right place from the beginning. I'm seperated, my ex has moved on, and I felt like what I was doing was acceptable though I must admit part of me taking this person out was in spite to my ex suddenly seeing someone new. I felt an urgent need to move on with my life just to stop thinking about her. It was a childish way to act.. I realized out of all this what I said in my last post, "I care about the image of those that are perceived to be close to me, and therefor perhaps my child." We live in a world where if you're not careful, it' can be hard to keep your personal life private. In my opinion, what I do when I don't have my son is my own business. Turns out it doesn't work like that when you meet someone who feels they must update everything they do on FB. Out of this it's made me think about my actions and forced me to be more honest with myself.. about those exact priorities I think you're criticizing. And yeah, if she was a 24 yo supermodel, it would have stirred up an equal amount of shit. Probably even more so
specially here on the internets. lol
