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i'm scared... the 'C' Word


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#51 Luna

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Posted 02 September 2009 - 02:38 AM

:heart: im so sorry hun. One breathe at a time.

#52 TEO

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Posted 03 September 2009 - 02:40 PM

Thing of you. :heart:

#53 forestdancer

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Posted 04 September 2009 - 01:06 PM

Hey all. Well im on my 5th and last day of my first round of chemo. I now have to go for four rounds because i can't get one drug due to my lungs and would not be good. So i sit here for 5 hours getting forever fluids for a week straight every 21 days. I'm doing ok.. spreading that okay thin.. i'm tired.. the nausea is kicking in and heartburn . i'm having a hard time staying strong. Everyone keeps telling me to but i;m just ready to break down. I know once this is over i will move on and be fine. I have a b/f i'm giong to marry and kids to have. but right now going through this its really rough. Not to mention sitting in these offices with all these sick old people making you feel worse when you look at them.. sad as that is...

5 more hours today.. tuesday i get to get a port a cath in my chest cause my veins are not great for sticking needles then i get a break till 21st. we see how that goes..

#54 Elphaba

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Posted 04 September 2009 - 01:16 PM

Thinking of you :heart: do you have an Mp3 Player for music? or someone way to keep busy to take your mind from it when You're there? One of my friends goes for infusions for something different on a regular basis and while i can't go with her, i keep her busy with silly texts.

#55 TEO

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Posted 04 September 2009 - 02:55 PM

(((forestdancer))) It's okay to cry. No harm in feeling and expressing your emotions. Remember, feeling them, acknowledging them, makes it easier for them to flow on through. You ARE strong, even when you are not feeling it.

Love & light :heart:

#56 forestdancer

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Posted 10 September 2009 - 12:47 PM

So.. i'm back in hospital. After being rushed to ER with severe adominal pain and throwing up none stop. Turns out that I have a blockage of scar tissue or something in my adodomen area from my first surgery. I have this giant tube from my nose down to my tummy to drain and hopefully help remove the blockage. Only its not looking like its going to and I will probably have to have surgery to remove it. Also my white blood cells are super super low as i'm quaranteed and cant' have the surgery till they are up later..


can i catch a break?

#57 Elphaba

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Posted 10 September 2009 - 01:29 PM

Shit! I hope things go as smoothly as possible. Check in here if you need to. :heart:

#58 Ravn

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Posted 10 September 2009 - 11:11 PM

((((((((((((((forestdancer))))))))))))))))))

#59 cj

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Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:11 AM

We are continually faced with great opportunities which are brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.
Margaret Mead


Victory-a matter of staying power.
Elbert Hubbard, editor


He that can have patience can have what he will.
Benjamin Franklin, printer, statesman, inventor


The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
Leo Tolstoy, author


Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.
Winston Churchill, British prime minister


:heart: wishing you strength and peace as you work on healing your body. :heart:






#60 mamapajama

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Posted 11 September 2009 - 12:53 AM

build white blood cell count, build

#61 musicmomma

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Posted 11 September 2009 - 01:01 AM

{{{{forestdancer}}}} :heart:

#62 little frog

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 03:20 AM

:heart::heart::heart:

you're in my prayers

#63 musicmomma

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 03:29 AM

how are you? you've been in my thoughts. :heart:

#64 TEO

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 02:16 PM

Hope your blood counts are rising!

Strength, courage, love & light :heart:

#65 vinandtonic

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Posted 16 September 2009 - 01:49 PM

:heart: :heart: thinking of you and sending good vibes.

#66 cj

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:09 AM

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#67 Elphaba

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:12 AM

:heart: {{{{{forestdancer}}}}

#68 Karen

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Posted 19 September 2009 - 01:20 AM

((Forestdancer))

May you be well...

#69 forestdancer

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Posted 19 September 2009 - 10:58 PM

THanks all! No surgery need to fix this problem just about a 2 week hospital stay. Right now my nausea is bad and my eat is not so good. So i'm on nutrition IV and they might want to keep me on it when i leave hospital Monday finally. But my doctors all say different things. Im just tired of being the hosp. I'm trying to eat more but its so hard. I start my second round of chemo monday also. Really have not had time to have a good week or even day between chemos with this other problem. but it seems to have fixed itself i hope.

my hair has been falling our already. its almost 3 weeks since my first chemo treatment. I have very thick hair to my shoulders so every time i brush it, it just comes out. Its to the point its everywhere so my b/f is coming to hosp tomorrow with his razor to just shave it. I guess it makes me feel litle more in control doing it that way and then the bald spots arent so bad. I also getting my own painless and free brazalian cut down there. Thats the only two spots i'm loosing hair thus far. I'm going to go with the scarfs.

I just want to go home. My b/f moved most of our stuff into our new place and i have not even seen it yet or been able to help do anything!

I'm having some rough days too i think i really just need to get out of here. I'm trying to hold as strong as i can.

Thanks again all!!!!!!!!

#70 Karen

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Posted 19 September 2009 - 11:13 PM

You sound really good and very strong!
Keep on taking it day by day and you 'll be home before you know it.

Hang in there!!!

#71 Elphaba

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Posted 19 September 2009 - 11:52 PM

Thinking of you :heart:

#72 Wende

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Posted 20 September 2009 - 02:31 AM

Wow, quite a story to follow.
You do sound so strong and I hope you get out of there and into your new place on Monday just as they said you would.

Oh my....so much love here for you~
Stay strong.

#73 mamapajama

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Posted 20 September 2009 - 02:56 AM

Hey there,
hope Monday finds you home

I hated food and water on chemo. What I could get down best, I finally figured out, was "white food"...plain pasta, white bread, saltines...at least it is something.

#74 forestdancer

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Posted 20 September 2009 - 02:38 PM

yeah mama i'm pretty much the same way.. the one thing that seems to help is baked potato.. but because of this hospital stay and my malnutrtion they are sending me home with this nutrion bag that I will have to hook up every night for 12 hours to make sure i'm getting what i need. Not happy about it but what ya gonna do... first week of nov is my last week of chemo then is road to recovery!! just taking it day by day as I see that day in my sights!!!

#75 Raynequeen

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Posted 20 September 2009 - 06:31 PM

:heart:

#76 mamapajama

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Posted 20 September 2009 - 08:46 PM

Baked potatoes are white. :grin: ;)

TPN, right? I hope you can get off that soon but thankfully, it exists. Just keep moving forward and eventually this can all be far behind you.

#77 hippiechickme

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 12:27 AM

Healing vibes to you. Picture and visualize the healthy vibrant you!

#78 Sunshower

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 02:52 AM

{{{{{{{{:heart::heart:Forestdancer:heart::heart:}}}}}}}

#79 HoopsTer

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 12:34 PM

My mother was on TPN for a little over a month....durring her radiation therapy and then again a few months after radiation due to complications. :-/
It's a pain, but it will nourish you..and that's what your body needs.
Stay strong and positive.
Love and Light to you.
:heart:


#80 TEO

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 03:28 PM

forestdancer, so glad you get to spend some time at home, with your loved ones around you. :heart:

Love, strength & healing

#81 CreekFreek

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 05:05 PM

:heart:

I hope your b/f has a good support system too.

#82 Karen

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 05:17 PM

Hope today brings some peace and comfort :heart:

#83 donna4128

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Posted 22 September 2009 - 07:34 PM

hope the days ahead get easier for you. sending positive energy your way!

#84 musicmomma

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 04:21 PM

:heart: you're on my mind. :heart:

#85 jagermonster

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Posted 25 September 2009 - 06:44 PM

:heart:

#86 little frog

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Posted 26 September 2009 - 02:27 AM

thinking about you :heart:

#87 sarah b.

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Posted 26 September 2009 - 05:36 AM

rooting for your recovery :heart:

#88 nique

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Posted 26 September 2009 - 11:22 AM

good morning :heart:

I hope you wake up with the sun and many smiles on your face, and laughter in your heart :heartflag:

dance your way to recovery..it's in your roots :rose:
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#89 forestdancer

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 02:20 PM

Well after my second round of chemo the next few days were hell.. no eating.. if i did i throw up.. and the nausea.. there is nothing that really works for me...but couple more days later i'm out of bed... sitting here at the computer.. seeing these beatutiful pictures and words to help me keep going.. brings tears to my eyes... thank you...

Emotionally its been hard... i was crying ALOT.. i was going to go back on depression meds i been on in the past but they clash with the nausea meds.. so i guess i have to pick my poision but am doing a little emotionally too..

i worry about my b/f cause he has to take care of me... he son half the week and work but we talk about it alot and i wont be like this forever.

the worst thing is my sex drive is barely there.. i'm to nausea to feel like doing that.. and to exhausted to do to much.. so lets just say we haven't done that in a while.. between the surgery and not being able to have it for weeks then starting into chemo its been very few and far in between... He says it doesn't bother him and he understands and i believe him but i can't help but feel bad about it..
thats just me venting

thanks for listening and everything! Hope you all are well!
((((((((hugs everyone)))))))))

#90 fire_rocket

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 02:39 PM

:heart: :heart: :heart:

#91 Elphaba

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 02:44 PM

forestdancer you are an inspiration to me :heart: so strong and wise beyond your years. i don't know you, but you make me a better person. :) be good to yourself first.

#92 Jersey Thug

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 03:53 PM

:heart: ~ :heart: ~ :heart: forestdancer :heart: ~ :heart: ~ :heart:

keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. it really will :heart: :)

#93 Sunshower

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 07:26 PM

:heart::heart::heart:Forestdancer:heart::heart::heart: Your strength is an inspiration to us all:smile:

#94 KrisNYG

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 08:18 PM

You are beyond inspiring. :heart::heart::heart:

#95 mamapajama

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Posted 03 October 2009 - 01:26 AM

<3

#96 Karen

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Posted 03 October 2009 - 06:29 PM

You are a wonderful lady to be thinking about your boyfriend's needs when you are going through this. He's lucky to have you!

Keep on keepin' on sister! We are all rooting for you!

:heart: :heart: :heart:

#97 TEO

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 03:25 PM

True love runs deeper than the physical. :heart: :heart:

All best for physical & emotional healing to perfect balance.

#98 nancykind

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 07:47 PM

came across this, thought maybe it might be helpful or give you some ideas :heart:

http://www.cnn.com/2...book/index.html

#99 forestdancer

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 09:33 PM

:heart:thanks nancy!

#100 little frog

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 12:07 AM

your bf sounds like a great guy! :heart: