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i'm scared... the 'C' Word


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#1 forestdancer

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:04 AM

So friday morning of vibes(after arriving thurs) I woke up with 103 fever.. went to EMS .. and got sent to hospital. I missed the rest of vibes turned out I had a HUGE mass on my ovary that ruputured. So besides the fact that I had a horrible fever, I was going to loose an ovary. Possibly, both. Luckily it was just one. A week later I get the results. It has cancerous cells in it. the fluid that got out and the areas around it that they tested were fine. However, I still have to make an appt with Oncologist. Which I'm doing. THey say that the surgery is usually good and usually its good. I lost two aunts to cancer and my mom had cancer twice. One of my aunts passed started with ovarian cancer. That was like 15 years ago and things have changed i'm just scared. My b/f has been amazing. but only so much he can do while i'm doctor ordered to stay home from work and not able to do much for at least another 2 weeks (2 weeks gone by already) maybe 4 weeks.

Thanks for listening. I just can't sleep.

#2 Drop_o_Rain

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:06 AM

:heart:

I don't even know what to say except that you are in my prayers.

:heart:

#3 TEO

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:12 AM

(((forestdancer)))

Much love, strength & healing :heart:

#4 Mr_Pat

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:16 AM

:heart:
:heart:
:heart:
:heart:

#5 musicmomma

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:30 AM

:heart:

#6 Elphaba

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 09:43 AM

{{{{{{forestdancer}}}}}}} :heart:

#7 mamapajama

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 10:47 AM

Hi. I had cancer 6 1/2 years ago.

Scared is okay...it is scary. Otherwise rally, as it sounds like you are doing... listen and learn and take care of it. You can do this. On the other side of this experience, you will be stronger than ever.

:heart:

#8 tonebea

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 12:35 PM

I haven't been on the boards much lately. And I know this forum isn't for men, but I saw the title and had to check it out. I too had cancer 6 years ago. It is scary. The word itself is scary. The diagnosis doesn't mean what it used to mean though and plenty of people make it through. I truly believe that attitude is a big factor in beating this. I believe it had a lot to do with me beating it as well as other people I'm close to. Do what you have to do to beat this and know you'll make it. And the physical things - surgeries, chemo, etc. - none of it was as bad as I imagined it would be. You'll be a different person when it's all said and done. Life will be more amazing and everything more beautiful than before. It's kind of weird, but I'm glad I went through what I did because of that. It's quite a journey although tough. Good luck.

#9 china cat

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:54 PM

Hi. I had cancer 6 1/2 years ago.

Scared is okay...it is scary. Otherwise rally, as it sounds like you are doing... listen and learn and take care of it. You can do this. On the other side of this experience, you will be stronger than ever.

:heart:


You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

:heart:


#10 lost-in-boston

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:30 PM

Its a very scary word...and my only advice would be to not ignore it (but it seems you're doing the right things here)

My mom ignored it. I lost her almost 2 years ago. A surgeon told me, had she just swallowed her fear and had things checked out 6 months prior, it wouldn't have gotten to that point.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

I'm so happy you're doing the right thing. :heart:
I'm so very sorry you're faced with this...but cancer does not have to be a death sentence.
*hugs&healing*

#11 lost-in-boston

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:32 PM

I haven't been on the boards much lately. And I know this forum isn't for men, but I saw the title and had to check it out. I too had cancer 6 years ago. It is scary. The word itself is scary. The diagnosis doesn't mean what it used to mean though and plenty of people make it through. I truly believe that attitude is a big factor in beating this. I believe it had a lot to do with me beating it as well as other people I'm close to. Do what you have to do to beat this and know you'll make it. And the physical things - surgeries, chemo, etc. - none of it was as bad as I imagined it would be. You'll be a different person when it's all said and done. Life will be more amazing and everything more beautiful than before. It's kind of weird, but I'm glad I went through what I did because of that. It's quite a journey although tough. Good luck.


:heart:
I totally agree w/ the above.
I'm happy to hear so many of you say "had" cancer.
:heart:


#12 sums

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:35 PM

:heart:

i hope it's all gone already.

#13 KrisNYG

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 02:39 PM

Love and strength to you. :heart::heart::heart:

#14 jen s

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:04 PM

(((forestdancer)))

Much love, strength & healing :heart:


Q4T

#15 seany

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:18 PM

:heart:

Many blessings and vibes to help you get through these scary times...

#16 Jersey Thug

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:32 PM

(((((forestdancer))))))

((((((mamapj))))))

((((((tonebea))))))))

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

#17 vinandtonic

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 04:25 PM

strength and love to you :heart:

#18 fire_rocket

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 07:02 PM

:heart:

#19 Lazy Lightning

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 07:47 PM

:heart: :heart: :heart:

#20 forestdancer

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 11:52 PM

Thank you all so much! It really does help. I been strong and been having a good attitued as best I can.but today I just lost it. The min you tell some one they seem so worried but you try to keep in good spirits. I'm fighting this, i'm not letting this or anythng take away the one thing i always wanted to have a family. But right now i'm just breaking down. First time cried since all this happened. I guess i need to just get it out so i can go on!

My mom is stressing me cause she wants me to her oncologist instead of the one my doctor recomended!

But again thank you all.. keep you updated!

#21 CreekFreek

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 04:02 PM

Best of luck :heart:

Please keep us posted.

#22 Ginger Snap

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 04:48 PM

:heart:

#23 TEO

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Posted 13 August 2009 - 05:52 PM

All best in staying positive!

You will be able to have a family. :heart:

#24 wabbit

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Posted 15 August 2009 - 01:56 AM

:heart:

love and strength

#25 sarah b.

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Posted 20 August 2009 - 05:06 AM

extra strength to you. :heart:
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#26 forestdancer

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:18 AM

THE UPDATE:
Thank you everyone first off.

Today I saw onocologist. I had a very rare form of ovairan cancer. Its not genetic. But because it burst, they are recommending chemo. I have to get three rounds. Start a week from this monday. i'm a mixture of up and down emotions. The thing i was worried about most.. having kids.. they said should not be a problem at all after chemo. So that takes a huge sigh of relief off me. I'm very sad about loosing my hair. I know it will grow back and all that but my hair is me in a way. I will not look good with short hair. But its a must so.. i deal!
My b/f is amazing and is there for me every second, family and some friends and of course all of you! I'm giong to try to keep an online jounral of my progress and stuff I'll let you know if i go through with that. and the link. MIght even start it now cause i been having problems sleeping for week now.

#27 musicmomma

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:22 AM

:heart:

#28 forestdancer

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:25 AM

you know what ticks me off right now.. the dam ambulance bill from GOTV to hospital.. arghh..

#29 Elphaba

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 08:09 AM

sorry you have to deal with that on top of the medical and emotional stuff. :heart:

#30 mamapajama

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 10:43 AM

Sorry to hear that your diagnosis is confirmed. I can tell you are fully equipped to fight this though.

My oncologist prescribed atavan, which helped me sleep, telling me that my brain would be spinning for months and it would help me rest. It helped quite a bit. Make sure your doctor knows you are having trouble sleeping and go ahead and ask for something to help you sleep.

#31 TEO

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 12:38 PM

(((forestdancer))) :heart:

So glad you have a solid support system of people who love you.
Continued wihes for strength & healing. Your outlook will aid you immensely.

#32 forestdancer

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:39 PM

Thanks mama. I'm going to try it a couple more days see if I can sleep. Last night i got to be earlier than i have.

thanks everyone

#33 vinandtonic

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:51 PM

you may not lose your hair with only 3 rounds of chemo? I thought it took more than that?

best of luck to you :heart:

#34 georgi

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:54 PM

My Mom didn't have very many rounds of chemo and she lost all her hair. I think it depends on the strength of it. Hers is finally growing back, though. It's so cute and fuzzy. :) :heart:

Much love to you, ForestDancer. :heart:

#35 cj

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 07:48 AM

:heart: sending strength and peace as you start this new chapter in your life. thinking of you.

#36 mamapajama

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 11:42 AM

Whether or not you lose your hair depends on what medicine you take for chemo. For ovarian, breast and colon cancer treatment, you often get the stuff that makes you lose it. And for me and anyone I have talked to, it fell out after round 2.

For me, it was one of the hardest parts to face but it did become a major symbolic part of the journey. It will suck a bit but it will also be okay. :heart:

I hope you are sleeping better.

#37 forestdancer

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 04:10 PM

Some good news.. i did sleep a little better. and i called me insurance hopefully they will pay 90% of the ambulance bill after i submit a claim!

mamapajama.. thats one of the hardest things i'm looking to face the hair loss. The chemo i'm getting is close to the kind they give guys for testicular cancer. My cancer was very rare. its a germ cell kind.. not genetic. Reading online form the kinds of drugs i'm getting I will loose it.. but there is that bit of hope i hold on to.. cause i dont know the dosage yet..

anyone know where to get some good scarfs for my head?

#38 TEO

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 06:16 PM

forestdancer, from the pics I have seen of you, you would be Sinead O'Connor type of HOT without hair.

Note: I saw mamapajama recently, and her hair looks so thick, lush and healthy now. :heart:

(((forestdancer))) :heart:

#39 mamapajama

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 08:02 PM

I went ahead and got a wig before mine fell out...I think I needed to
"have" it. I never wore it. It only looked cute on my 2 year old son at the time. ;)
I wore little scarf cap type thingamajigs and a lot of long scarves from TJ Maxx and stores like that. I see them everywhere now...so much variety available now. You can tie them in many different ways.
I also had this granny-looking terrycloth thing they gave me at the oncology center that I wouldn't be caught anywhere in but was the most comfortable thing to sleep in...I couldn't sleep with a cold head and it fit snuggly.

Also, hats work great too.

head scarves (more just by googling "head scarves for chemo"):
http://www.headcover...s/head-scarves/

scarf tying:
http://www.tlcdirect...es.aspx?art=127

#40 forestdancer

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Posted 23 August 2009 - 12:05 PM

LOL TEO!
Thanka mama! and everyone!

#41 KrisNYG

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Posted 23 August 2009 - 01:39 PM

Much strength and love to you. :heart:
My friend was guaranteed to lose her hair and guess what, she didn't. Some definitely came out but for the most part she had a full head of hair throughout the chemo. :)

#42 sarah b.

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Posted 24 August 2009 - 06:48 AM

:heart:

#43 jemita

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Posted 24 August 2009 - 05:07 PM

I went ahead and got a wig before mine fell out...I think I needed to
"have" it. I never wore it. It only looked cute on my 2 year old son at the time. ;)
I wore little scarf cap type thingamajigs and a lot of long scarves from TJ Maxx and stores like that. I see them everywhere now...so much variety available now. You can tie them in many different ways.
I also had this granny-looking terrycloth thing they gave me at the oncology center that I wouldn't be caught anywhere in but was the most comfortable thing to sleep in...I couldn't sleep with a cold head and it fit snuggly.

Also, hats work great too.

head scarves (more just by googling "head scarves for chemo"):
http://www.headcover...s/head-scarves/

scarf tying:
http://www.tlcdirect...es.aspx?art=127


its funny, even today when i see a cool scarf i think of mamapajama and if i should buy it for her! LOL

#44 mamapajama

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Posted 24 August 2009 - 11:00 PM

Jema,

mwah :heart:


forestdancer,

checking this thread often
rooting for you

#45 cj

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Posted 26 August 2009 - 01:18 AM

:heart:

#46 forestdancer

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:55 PM

Still waiting for one more test so that I can start Chemo. Supoosed to start Monday but without this test not sure. On top if it all my pap smear came back abonormal so i have to have coposcopy (pieces of cervix taken). So its been stress.

My boss who i know for 8 years and love , was let go this week, and my b/f and are looking for a place to rent. Its been a busy couple months but after i let out some good crys i'm holding strong.. at least probably till i loose my hair!

I just hope to start the chemo monday already just so i can get it done! Ill let you all know

much love!

#47 Elphaba

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Posted 28 August 2009 - 12:22 AM

much love back forestdancer. :heart: sending strength and good vibes.

#48 twilight dancer

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Posted 29 August 2009 - 10:22 PM

love
<3

#49 lost-in-boston

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 05:53 PM

Love and strength to you :heart:

The hair loss was really difficult for my mom, but she did lots of hats and had a wig, but she said it itched, and only wore it around my grandmother bc everytime she saw my mom bald, she started to cry.
Scarves are so in right now too!
Your strength through all of this is admirable :)
:heart:


#50 HoopsTer

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 06:20 PM

Much love and strength to you :heart: