have we mentioned lately how MUCH cancer SUCKS!?!?!?!??!?!!?!??!?!?!?!!
Posted 26 September 2012 - 12:52 PM
i'm okay. the whole thyroid thing is taking a long time to heal, it's still swollen and sore. i've also started losing my voice but everyone swears it has nothing to do with the radiation or surgery. it's been getting a little rougher each day for a week or so though. still lots and lots of throat clearing too. maybe i'm getting a bug of some kind, i'm not sure. i feel fine other than that.
the burns are doing great, so much better so fast, it's really amazing in fact. i think my sister regretted asking for pics of the burns at their worst. it truly did look awful though. the port incision is healing fine too, the scar is a couple inches long, but tidy.
my return to work is put off for another couple of weeks which is fine with me. i can spend that time building up my strength and stamina so that the return goes that much more smoothly. they are definitely changing my job when i get back. not thrilled but it is what it is and i'm grateful to have a job and if i don't like it then it will be up to me to make changes in my life that will fix it. we shall seeeeee what happens.
and here is something i filled out for october's breast cancer awareness, i thought it came out pretty well and will share it. thanks for checking in Jess. how did you know i've been wanting to whine??
When were you diagnosed? January 31 2012
Are you cancer-free? If so, for how long? Yes, I had radical surgery on 2/24/12 to make me so.
How have your family and friends helped you? With rides, food, gifts of all kinds, cards, letters, music, company, hugs, positive reminders, laughs, their time and energy, and most of all - LOVE
What tips do you have to help other breast cancer survivors stay positive? Remember. How much they’ve accomplished so far. How astoundingly, mind bogglingly AMAZING they are. How many things there are that are not yet done.
What has someone done to make you feel better? My friends mailed a binder all over the country collecting handmade pages of notes, poems, beautiful pictures, inspiring words & more. Months later they gave me a journal filled with stories & memories that people had written about me. Someone had 1000+ cranes folded for me.
What advice would you give someone who is about to go through treatment? Try to find humor every day. Some of the stuff you have to go through is downright outlandish! And ridiculous! And absolutely DESERVES to be laughed at!!
What was the scariest moment? Probably hearing the prognosis, though cutting my long hair off was no picnic!
What was the funniest moment? The first time I saw an old picture of me with hair I breathed: “Ohhh I have hair!”. Then my fist flew to my mouth & I gasped and said: "and it's PERFECT!!!". And then I laughed at myself - a LOT!!! :-)
How has breast cancer made you stronger? I will never doubt how much I am loved, that it is by many and that my presence can make a difference. It's an empowering, yet completely humbling, realization.
My Story: Four months after my annual exams were done and being told all was well, I felt a lump. It grew quickly and I went for a mammo & ultrasound. The now very large, very painful lump that could be seen poking through my skin, could not be seen on films or screen. They did see though, a different mass, that could not be felt. I had a lumpectomy done and everything taken was cancerous, not a clear margin anywhere. Frankly, I didn't have big enough breasts for another big lumpectomy and because at least part of the tumor was invisible, how much tissue to take out would be a total shot in the dark, so I had a radical mastectomy and lymph nodes were taken, ultimately giving me a diagnosis of Triple Negative, Stage IIIC, breast cancer. TNBC is very aggressive and considered more deadly than other kinds because the chance of metastasis is high and the prognosis not very good. It improves after 5 years but getting to that milestone without metastasis is a 50/50 shot. Scary! I had 8 rounds of AC/T chemo and 33 radiation treatments, which just ended on 9/10/12, but had thyroid surgery just two days later. I am currently recovering from all three and it is a slow, slow process. I look forward to finding my ‘new normal', and am blessed – already! - to be able to give back some of the love, information and support that are so needed after diagnosis. This journey, while never requested, can be amazing. I’ve learned some beautiful things and consider myself lucky. We are amazing. We are beautiful. We fight back. HARD.
Posted 26 September 2012 - 01:48 PM
thank you. i love you. thank you.
Posted 28 September 2012 - 10:09 PM
Farewell, little toe,
I loved you so,
For we were so attached.
We'll dance no more,
Nor wade by the shore,
For we have been detached.
In the long, long, years of a happy life,
You were closer to me than friend or wife,
And all that we shared of love or strife
Ended with a whack of the surgeon's knife.
As I go lopsided and grieving
Through this vale of tears and woe,
How sad is to be leaving
My valiant little toe.
How loyally you took me
Wherever I wished to go;
Nothing ever shook me
Like the loss of my little toe.
In that great foot bath up in the sky
I hope you'll always know
I never will forget my
Irreplaceable little toe.
Posted 01 October 2012 - 02:22 PM
oh, and i love you
Posted 11 October 2012 - 01:08 AM
the neuropathy issues are the one thing i cannot seem to get rid of yet. interesting.
Posted 13 October 2012 - 03:09 PM
Have you tried B6 yet? My RN praises that up and down-
My brewer's yeast buds are loaded with it and I sprinkle it all over my salads-
I notice a difference if I skip a few days of eating it.
that neuropathy sucks. blah.
my RN says it could be 6 months to a year before it fully goes away.
Posted 13 October 2012 - 04:38 PM
i'm glad i wore the ice gloves during chemo, only my fingertips and about half my thumbs are numb these days, though i haven't seem much change in the last couple of weeks. the toenails were so bad that the ice boots weren't an option at the time so that's why my feet are worse now, i think. and i think i'm done losing toenails too, the last 1 1/2 look like they're going to have to grow out like my fingernails are. the one that was sticking way up is even much lower again. WEIRD!!! my thumbnails are reeaally gnarly looking but the rest aren't even all that too terribly noticeable anymore.
watching all these things go bad along the way was weird enough but now!? now i'm urging things along, cheering them on, encouraging them at every step of the way. it's still all so WEEEEIRD!!
my lower eyelashes are really long but my upper ones aren't as long as they used to be. they haven't changed much in the last couple weeks either. and i'm trying. i'm reeallly reeaalllly trying, to not shave my legs. i can't do zumba in shorts because i swear i can hear the wind whistling through the hair. and i don't like the way it feels either! so i'm not sure this one's going to stick but it's certainly the right time of year to let it go and see what happens. i'll be like china cat was last winter with the super hairy legs....
Posted 13 October 2012 - 06:59 PM
they get very burny and sharp feeling if I haven't had the yeast in a few days. Like the kind of burny that makes bed sheets hurt.
It's much more 'mellowed' out when I'm eating the yeast consistently. (keeps bug bites away too)
i dont wear shoes much either.
When my dad's neuropathy got real bad from his chemo- all he could wear were sidewalk surfers on his feet.
My sister got me a pair but I'm not to the point of wearing them. They're a little too big.
it IS weird.
cant wait till i feel cold liquids like my chest is peeing on itself. lol!
Posted 13 October 2012 - 08:18 PM
i don't even know if i mentioned that in this thread - that drinking felt like i was just pouring it down the front of my chest. to this day, one of the weirdest things of all.
i think he asked about the b vitamins when we were discussing the neuropathy in particular. i told him that i went shopping for a b at the beginning bug it was sooo confusing! b for this b for that, so i gave up and forgot all about it.