1031 replies to this topic

[Heady]

SWEET! Nice, I had a feeling this date would be better than the last one. I'm happy for ya.. and setting up Sat was a good move. No reason to play any waiting games if you had a good time and would enjoy hanging out again. Any initial chemistry at all? Are you attracted? What's the plan for saturday?

I'll be reporting back tonight too.. should be an interesting update

[vinandtonic]

Update from last night.

Well things went really well. We both felt a click/chemistry between us. The sushi restaurant idea worked out to be a perfect decision. In a summery we wound up staying at the restaurant for over 3 hours talking. When I got home we talked some more online and made plans for Saturday night. So yep a second date.

What was nice about this date was we both went into it with no pressure or anticipation. Finally a normal laid back person with a good personality. Obviously I don't know her that well yet, but so far so good.

awesome!

[Joe]

SWEET! Nice, I had a feeling this date would be better than the last one. I'm happy for ya.. and setting up Sat was a good move. No reason to play any waiting games if you had a good time and would enjoy hanging out again. Any initial chemistry at all? Are you attracted? What's the plan for saturday?

I'll be reporting back tonight too.. should be an interesting update

Actually we both blatantly stated we are equals on feeling of attraction and chemistry. Shes a cute girl. One of those girls you see and you just want to wrap your arms around cute.

[Heady]

wow, I'm suprised you talked about that! cool! glad to hear that. awesome to connect, and be attracted!! bow chica wow wow!!

where's the date sat?

[china cat]

Well excuse me....I went on a date with a 'little person.'

Oh pah-lease, I could write a book about all of the uncomfortable horendous dates I went on before being in the relationship I am in now.

One guy (whom I had exchanged multiple pictures with)...decided to tell me that I am not really his type, and proceeded by pointing out to me other gals whom are more his type. I got up and left.

Another guy went into explicit detail as to why he was in jail, and it was because of domestic violence. Excuse me while I run away from you as fast as possible?

Another guy was in an actual relationship, and never revealed that until I found out later...that was a low blow.

One guy claimed that him and his gf broke up half a year ago, yet all her stuff was at his place, and he had a girly toilet seat, and a potrait of her in his kitchen. Hello liar.

I could go on and on and on.

omfg so sorry, but makes for funnies later

[Mr.BBG]

This Thread reminds me of a hen house!

[Joe]

wow, I'm suprised you talked about that! cool! glad to hear that. awesome to connect, and be attracted!! bow chica wow wow!!

where's the date sat?

Yeah i was surprised she brought it up. But it was a good opertunity to discuss it with in the conversation we were having. To be honest I like the upfront honesty thing. I don't like to play games.


The date is more of hangout, we want to play it by ear. She going to drive to me and were just going to walk around and find a restaurant we think looks good and go for it. Then hit up a pub after. Whats nice is she told me"I'm paying for dinner this time. It's only right." I responded you don't have to do that. TO be honest if she wants to pay for the second date I'll let her and then pay for drinks at the bar. I really can't afford the Saturday night date anyways. Tonight I have Rail Road Earth soooo that's kind of a budget killer along with lastnight.

[TakeAStepBack]

Sounds like you have some decent luck, Joe.


I'm sticking with fire hydrants from now on though.......

[Heady]

I would personally pick the place out first.. sure you wanna wing that? I'm sure you know what you're doing. I just don't know your area. I would never do that here, especially with her paying I'd be careful!

[Joe]

I would personally pick the place out first.. sure you wanna wing that? I'm sure you know what you're doing. I just don't know your area. I would never do that here, especially with her paying I'd be careful!

Honestly where I live in Arlington there are ton of great restaurants and pubs. I will pick out a few choice but I figure we can make that decision Saturday.

[Heady]

word

I'm going to the climbing gym in a few hours (1st date) funnest one I can think of!! more later

[Joe]

word

I'm going to the climbing gym in a few hours (1st date) funnest one I can think of!! more later

Good luck. Don't drop her while belaying her. Thats a sure fire way for a date to end.

[Heady]

[Joe]

I'm surprised you haven't changed your pic again today.

[Heady]

Had to

Thats me doing the air Jordan at Old Rag in Shenandoah

[Joe]

Had to

Thats me doing the air Jordan at Old Rag in Shenandoah

there you go

nice pick

[Heady]

climbing went great (she was pretty freaking good, I sucked) but she's skiing tomorrow, so she wanted to call it an early night.... at 7 PM!

[Heady]

went to an outrageous company xmas party as a 2nd date.. pretty bold of this chick bringing me only having met me once.. it was awesome.. partied from like 6 pm till 3! Hotel parties are the shit..

joe, how was your sat night date?

[Joe]

went to an outrageous company xmas party as a 2nd date.. pretty bold of this chick bringing me only having met me once.. it was awesome.. partied from like 6 pm till 3! Hotel parties are the shit..

joe, how was your sat night date?

Sounds like you two are hitting it off well. And yeah it is pretty bold of her to invite you, but then again if there is chemistry and things feel right why not dive in and see if there is more.

So my second date went well. But I don't think it's going to work out. I already see things through conversations that I know in the future will be a problem. For instance we were talking about religion and what we feel about it in the future.

She is Jewish and im Catholic. Which to me doesn't mean anything when it comes to being with someone. I'm more then open to being with someone of anouther faith. I understood that she wants her future kids to be Jewish. On a personal level I'm actually ok with that. Anyways well I mentioned something about my Christmas tree and how I really enjoy having one every year. Its a tradition I enjoy. (Its a memory tree really) Well she said I would never allow that in my house, because she felt it wasn't right being Jewish.

Well to me this clearly said that shes wants someone else to fully except her and her religion but she wont respect the other persons traditions. To me this doesn't flow right especially it indicates that she is one sided in a relationship on other levels and situations. (Her way or the Highway)

Maybe I'm looking to much into this and some other points she made. I just feel if I don't align with other peoples beliefs and personality then I know its just not going to work. Why waste my time.

[Heady]

You are absolutely right. Just curious, are you looking for short term or long term dating, or a long term relationship? It sounds like the both of you are looking for the right person, not just someone to date.

I have similar issues as she does, but not as serious in who I date bc I'm not looking for anything serious. If I was, I would not be wasting time with non-Jews. Just my honest opinion. I would not take it personally at all. The whole Jewish culture can be pretty darn strict when it comes to this kind of thing. It's something I've battled with for a few years..

[Joe]

What I am looking for is someone to date who could potentially be long term. I have never been about dating someone for the sake of dating. I would rather spend my time and money on other things.

[Heady]

are you gonna set up a 3rd with her or move on?

[Joe]

are you gonna set up a 3rd with her or move on?

Move on, I'm broke anyways.

[Heady]

word

I'm meeting a new chick tonight, she's got a 9 year old. Had the kid when she was like 16 or something. She's really attractive and seems into alot of the same stuff as me, but has the baggage. Oh well, I am new to town, and having fun with this.. making friends and what not. I'm sort of a social butterfly so this is the norm for me.

[Joe]

word

I'm meeting a new chick tonight, she's got a 9 year old. Had the kid when she was like 16 or something. She's really attractive and seems into alot of the same stuff as me, but has the baggage. Oh well, I am new to town, and having fun with this.. making friends and what not. I'm sort of a social butterfly so this is the norm for me.

There are some red flags for me that I avoid like the plague and a kid is one of them. Not that I have a problem with them or have any less respect. I just feel your investing yourself even on a dating level with the girl and her kid. If anything its not fair to the child. Be careful with this one tonight.

[Heady]

maybe I should back out.. it's not too late

[Joe]

maybe I should back out.. it's not too late

I'm sure she a nice girl and what not but in my opinion I would. But that's just me and my feelings. If I was older I might feel different because I will be at a different stage in life.

[Heady]

yeah, really sucks for her.. she looks like a great person but yeah you're probably right who am I kidding??

[Joe]

yeah, really sucks for her.. she looks like a great person but yeah you're probably right who am I kidding??

I've dealt with baggage in relationships and its just not fun. I mean there are certain levels which you can except and deal with. For me when it involves another life also I try and stay clear. Especially your not looking for something potentially long term with her. I would most likely stay clear if I was in your shoes.

[Heady]

I guess there's something falsely hot about the mom factor

[Joe]

I guess there's something falsely hot about the mom factor

There is, but you always have to remember kid comes first, family, money, then you.

So for instance staying over your place, or even going out to dinner takes planning for her. She needs to find a baby sitter or if she's lucky someone in her family will watch her kid. If you sleep over her place you then have to contend with having the kid there. Which is where I find it getting even more complicated.

[TakeAStepBack]

Well, with the child presence there is more complexity involved than anyone can fathom except those in the situation.

Let me just say that my longest relationship (5-6 years) was with a woman who had a son. It's very easy for these children to fall in love with a good person and vice verse.

Hardest thing I ever did in my life was walk away from a child I'd helped raise for 5 plus years. He was 2 when i met him.

Please think of the children.

[Janine H]

I just LOVE this thread.... from a single mom perspective. I Totally respect where your coming from Joe. And your wise beyond your years.

[Heady]

Is there a difference if the girl is 9? Well, I'm going to meet her, I am honest when I meet people about where I'm coming from.. I've made several friends through this site and I know I'm not relationship material.. No ones falling in love anytime soon

Is it not fair that I can be honest and see if she is interested in my friendship? I have friends of all walks of life and think it's unfair for her to lose out on opportunities of friendships and fun just because her life took an unpredicted turn when she was "still a kid.."

[Joe]

I just LOVE this thread.... from a single mom perspective. I Totally respect where your coming from Joe. And your wise beyond your years.

Thank you.

I have friends of all walks of life and think it's unfair for her to lose out on opportunities of friendships and fun just because her life took an unpredicted turn when she was "still a kid.."

There is nothing wrong with friendship. All I saying is if you are going to be involved with her take under consideration the emotional involvement in the situation. You maybe looking to just date and not more but I'm sure she is looking for more then that. Then again what do I know what she is looking for.

[Janine H]

Well I can tell you from my experience that I have let very few men that I've dated even meet my kids, my youngest is only 8 and I could totally see him getting attached to a man that I'm dating, don't want to put him through that.
I keep my dating life totally separate from my kids.
One guy I dated for about 2 yrs I met because his son and mine were friends. When it ended he didn't understand why we couldn't all hang out anymore. That was hard.

[Heady]

I had the "date" and it was great actually.. glad I went. Just a little nervous cause she is super attractive in just the way I like and I'm sure it would surface eventually. For now we are both happy developing a friendship. You can use dating sites for that too I believe.

[Joe]

Like I said there is nothing wrong with friendship. Also I'm glad it went well.

[Heady]

You got anything else in the works Joe? I wonder what the ratio is of unsuccessful dates/successful relationships would be. I have met 5 girls so far off this thing. I'm thinking about cutting it off with the girl that I'm romantically involved with in case I want to explore that with someone else (excluding last nights date.) She was the first one I met and perhaps I jumped the gun. Additionally, she's broke, has little to say, is not quite as attractive as 3 of the other girls, and honestly she smells kinda funny. Her scent lingers and not in a good way whatsoever. Huge turn off obviously

[YogaMermaid]

Bad smell that lingers? Ewwwwwwwwwwww Heady.

[Heady]

For real. I don't know what her deal is.. when we first started hanging out I didn't notice it. She hasn't invited me over to her place (in 3 weeks of hanging out) I can only wonder why.

I think part of it was that the last time she was over she cooked some really gross looking vegetables and it just reeked. Plus she spent the night. I feel like my room was attacked by a fleet of rotten zucchinis

[YogaMermaid]

zucchini va-jay-jay

[Heady]

Next time she's over I'm gonna hit the twit with a squeeze of Fabreeze!

[Joe]

The Fish smell is that bad hu?

[Heady]

yeah I think I'm gonna cut her off. No more bush wacking in the zuchi pukey -stinky pinky vajay jay for me.. I'm not a jungle man

now that I think of it, my machete needs shapening

[Joe]

yep we've gone to far.

[Heady]

I think YM should be allowed to post in this thread, I liked her critiques of my dating style, very helpful actually

[Joe]

I think YM should be allowed to post in this thread, I liked her critiques of my dating style, very helpful actually

Why isn't YM allowed to post here?

[Dr. Lostreality]

I wonder what the ratio is of unsuccessful dates/successful relationships would be.

i did internet dating off and on over a 3 year period. I went on first dates with probably around 15-20 people, went on a second date with 4 people, got in a relationship with 2 of those, 1 of which ended after around 6 weeks, and the other one I married.

I also have maybe 4 friends who I met through online dating, although they arn't very close friends. And I had a few one night stands that I don't regret.

[Joe]

i did internet dating off and on over a 3 year period. I went on first dates with probably around 15-20 people, went on a second date with 4 people, got in a relationship with 2 of those, 1 of which ended after around 6 weeks, and the other one I married.

I also have maybe 4 friends who I met through online dating, although they arn't very close friends. And I had a few one night stands that I don't regret.

All in one statement Internet dating sounds depressing and joyful. I just don't like the whole 15 - 20 dates ratio. I realize that its just how it is to find the right person. I guess I've been somewhat lucky so far with how I met the girls I've actually dated.

ugh dating is frustrating.