Dating websites?
Started by
Geminimoon
, May 31 2009 11:13 PM
1031 replies to this topic
#953
-
- VibeTribe
- 3,489 posts
Posted 06 February 2012 - 05:46 PM
i found that it can be really frustrating dating someone who doesn't really know what they want or they're just casually looking to meet people while you are more seriously looking for someone. Having the same basic mindset is easier, imho. if i started dating someone and then discovered they just wanted to keep it casual i politely walked away (once i decided i was looking for a real life partner) .. if we wanted different things or they just 'didn't know what they wanted' at the moment, that was a red flag for me that this could become a fruitless waste of my time.
it's good to find that out early on, imho.
@ motti .. excellent news
it's good to find that out early on, imho.
@ motti .. excellent news
....buT we don't want to see the baby thread for a while !!!!!
#958
-
- VibeTribe
- 12,076 posts
Posted 10 February 2012 - 06:13 PM
Why is it I only hear women mention "red flags" ????
because you only read/hear what fits neatly into your idea of the world, probably.
everyone picks up on verbal and nonverbal clues when first meeting new people, to figure out what is real and what is false bravado/facade/a bill of goods they're trying to sell. you may choose to ignore them (some people find crazy sexy, for instance, and will ignore a lot of warning bells because it's exciting to them to see what will happen next, or because they really, really like the fantasy that person is selling, no matter how far removed from reality it is) but the red flags still exist.
most people learn to pay closer attention to those warning bells as they get to know themselves and their wants/needs a bit better, or after they've been badly burned by ignoring their instincts for too long. some people seem to have that knowledge from the get go...but i never understood those people much
and some people never learn, and often end up bitter and convinced that it's everyone else who is fucked up when really, they just never bothered to figure out what they actually want, and go after it consciously.
my .02
#963
-
- VibeTribe
- 4,331 posts
Posted 11 February 2012 - 09:29 AM
To catch anyone up on my life:
Met wonderful person online, fell in love, got pregnant, had baby, broke up couple months ago...
Just went back to okcupid to see her with quite the active profile, including a picture of her with my son. Have to admit, this pill is a little hard to swallow. I mean you can't expect or want anyone to be alone, it's just hard to see this happening. She was very willing to work with me on our relationship, and I just couldn't hack it. Feeling really lost these days. This is a rough patch for me, lost my job, lost relationship... losing my mind a little more each day. My son, and all these job applications are keeping me hanging on.
Sorry for the negative post, didn't want to start a new thread, but did want to share
Met wonderful person online, fell in love, got pregnant, had baby, broke up couple months ago...
Just went back to okcupid to see her with quite the active profile, including a picture of her with my son. Have to admit, this pill is a little hard to swallow. I mean you can't expect or want anyone to be alone, it's just hard to see this happening. She was very willing to work with me on our relationship, and I just couldn't hack it. Feeling really lost these days. This is a rough patch for me, lost my job, lost relationship... losing my mind a little more each day. My son, and all these job applications are keeping me hanging on.
Sorry for the negative post, didn't want to start a new thread, but did want to share
#964
-
- VibeTribe
- 7,915 posts
- LocationQuiet Corner
Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:14 AM
Jon:heart: IMHO you need to come to grips why you couldn't hack it and work to resolve that with yourself before you return to dating. Hope you see your son in the flesh and not just on okcupid. Good job finding vibes
#965
-
- VibeTribe
- 4,331 posts
Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:28 AM
I don't feel ready to date again, but it's also hard handling the loneliness I'm now experiencing, especially with all this time on my hands. We share custody, so it's 50/50 which is great. We do week on, week off. She just took him, if you watch the show Louie, the depression he feels when his ex-wife takes the kids is something I feel too. Completely new feeling. I have some serious flaws, I know that. This experience has exposed the worst of them. I'm trying to take care of my business.. it's just hard to not wish I could have my old life back, which I know is a primary reason why I couldn't hack it. You should only move forward in life, not wallow in the past. I should probably seek counseling, but to be honest I hate paying for it. I just want to be my strong old self, I'm not especially happy with the person I am now, and I'm not ok with that.
Sorry to hijack the dating thread, like I said, I just didn't want to start a new thread about my problems, but maybe I should have.
Sorry to hijack the dating thread, like I said, I just didn't want to start a new thread about my problems, but maybe I should have.
#968
-
- VibeTribe
- 3,953 posts
Posted 11 February 2012 - 01:43 PM
because you only read/hear what fits neatly into your idea of the world, probably.
That's some sort of male stereotyping...I'm guessing
I'm just like every other guy
I don't find crazy sexy....but if she's really hot.....I have only had one experience with dating someone I didn't know. I am not sure if I'm really even interested in that anymore ?
#971
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,392 posts
Posted 13 February 2012 - 05:42 PM
To catch anyone up on my life:
Met wonderful person online, fell in love, got pregnant, had baby, broke up couple months ago...
Just went back to okcupid to see her with quite the active profile, including a picture of her with my son. Have to admit, this pill is a little hard to swallow. I mean you can't expect or want anyone to be alone, it's just hard to see this happening. She was very willing to work with me on our relationship, and I just couldn't hack it. Feeling really lost these days. This is a rough patch for me, lost my job, lost relationship... losing my mind a little more each day. My son, and all these job applications are keeping me hanging on.
Sorry for the negative post, didn't want to start a new thread, but did want to share
Yeah seeing your ex move on is never an easy thing even if you are trying to do the same thing.
I know that a few times ok cupid kept trying to match me up with an ex... I guess on paper we were compatible just not in reality.
Hang on to the positive and after you have yourself under control then you will be able to find someone to share it all with you.
#972
-
- VibeTribe
- 18,301 posts
Posted 13 February 2012 - 10:53 PM
that f**** C*** put a picture of your child on there???
Too soon... that aint cool.
Be a good dad, and carry on.
My ex came THIS close to gittin... gtrrrrgfjsaldgvjsdlgj ... well, let's just say I'm proud at the progress we've made... we can lean on each other for anything now, was not always that way.
Too soon... that aint cool.
Be a good dad, and carry on.
My ex came THIS close to gittin... gtrrrrgfjsaldgvjsdlgj ... well, let's just say I'm proud at the progress we've made... we can lean on each other for anything now, was not always that way.
#973
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,298 posts
- LocationArlington, VA
Posted 14 February 2012 - 01:42 PM
I'm sorry to hear about the hard times Jon. I don't know first hand how you feel but I know it's not a happy moment. Keep your head up and stay positive. Work towards changing your life situation. Make it a full time job. I find in hard times, having goals to have the positive times again works well for me. With finding work, keep at it at the very least 5 days a week. Hit up all the job websites and apply away. As for the rest of life all I can say is you'll make it through this bump and be stronger in the end.
Have fun ......
#981
-
- VibeTribe
- 5,287 posts
- LocationNutmeg State
Posted 04 March 2012 - 08:22 PM
So I've made several forays into online dating recently, mostly using one of the free sites. So far I only met one person a few months back, and there was just nothing there with this one person. So I stopped for a little while because I got discouraged by that experience. But recently I decided to keep trying to put myself out there, I realized that of course it's going to be pretty hit or miss.
I made contact with someone a couple weeks ago, she seems like a really cool person and she knows my unique circumstances and is okay with them. After a couple of e-mails I think there's some real promise for the first time in a while. I tend to over think these sort of things a bit and I'm definitely guilty of that right now.
About a week ago I sent a good albeit long response to her last message. We're at that point where the messages are getting longer because we have a lot to say to one another. I know it's completely irrational at this point, but I keep getting antsy waiting for the reply, running through scenarios in my mind to figure out why I haven't heard back yet. It hasn't even really been that long but it's just that I'm excited for the possibilities.
I think that's a really good sign that I'm truly interested in this person but I guess what I'm trying to say is how do I contain myself and prevent myself from doing or saying something stupid in the meantime. How do I get my mind off of it and continue to let it develop naturally and organically. I hate the feeling of putting myself out there and putting the ball in someone else's court and waiting
I guess I'm just afraid I'm going to sabotage myself and I'm trying to think of strategies to put my mind elsewhere and avoid that possibility
I'm just really hopeful and totally getting ahead of myself
I made contact with someone a couple weeks ago, she seems like a really cool person and she knows my unique circumstances and is okay with them. After a couple of e-mails I think there's some real promise for the first time in a while. I tend to over think these sort of things a bit and I'm definitely guilty of that right now.
About a week ago I sent a good albeit long response to her last message. We're at that point where the messages are getting longer because we have a lot to say to one another. I know it's completely irrational at this point, but I keep getting antsy waiting for the reply, running through scenarios in my mind to figure out why I haven't heard back yet. It hasn't even really been that long
but it's just that I'm excited for the possibilities. I think that's a really good sign that I'm truly interested in this person but I guess what I'm trying to say is how do I contain myself and prevent myself from doing or saying something stupid in the meantime. How do I get my mind off of it and continue to let it develop naturally and organically. I hate the feeling of putting myself out there and putting the ball in someone else's court and waiting
I guess I'm just afraid I'm going to sabotage myself and I'm trying to think of strategies to put my mind elsewhere and avoid that possibility
I'm just really hopeful and totally getting ahead of myself
#982
-
- VibeTribe
- 809 posts
Posted 05 March 2012 - 07:24 AM
Jumping in this thread to say I do the OKcupid thing. so far not so bad, just started not to long ago. Met a couple people in R/L and it went well. just not what I was looking for... I can say this, it's kinda fucking addicting. Frustrating at the same time, because i'm a weird cat, ya dig?
It's hard finding someone that connects on that weird/heady level.
meh.
It's hard finding someone that connects on that weird/heady level.
meh.
#984
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,298 posts
- LocationArlington, VA
Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:43 PM
I was just saying this exact same thing the other day... they need a site for people that aren't all..... normal and shit.
Greensingles is a good place for that. Out of all those sites out there greensingles has been the most successful in meeting girls who enjoy life the way I do. Like any other website out there, it's hit or miss.
In all dating is a ton of miss and very little hit anyways. I've been back on this game for a few months now and I'm already getting tired of it. It gets disappointing when you have these dates that last for 5 hours plus, have a great time with someone, and then you get the I'm sorry, I'm not interested. It's like ok????? Your not looking for someone who makes you laugh, that you enjoyed spending time with, that's a good person? Your not willing to give a second date a chance? Rightttt don't waste my time.
Anyways on a positive note I have 2nd date planed with this girl this week. She seems a bit different from my norm of dating girls but at the same time she seems to have a lot of qualities I look for. I'm just happy she recognizes we had a really good time together and is willing to see if there is something more.
but thanks
#988
-
- VibeTribe
- 5,287 posts
- LocationNutmeg State
Posted 05 March 2012 - 07:06 PM
Jwheelz (((calm blue ocean)))
Observe the voices in your head causing you impatience and doubt. Are they not like children at play?
(((calm blue ocean)))
Yes they are quite like children... and they better get the hell off my lawn!!
#991
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,298 posts
- LocationArlington, VA
Posted 08 March 2012 - 06:32 PM
Anyways on a positive note I have 2nd date planed with this girl this week. She seems a bit different from my norm of dating girls but at the same time she seems to have a lot of qualities I look for. I'm just happy she recognizes we had a really good time together and is willing to see if there is something more.
Yep Fail!!! I got a nice email from her saying she really enjoyed spending time with me but she was seeing someone who she just became exclusive with. YEP!!!!! It happens.
On a side note I've been talking with a girl who has a lot of potential right now. Even too the point we compared out Jambase music schedule and our phish PT show list.
The more we talk the more we are finding out we have done a lot of the same things, enjoy the same aspects of life, and been to the same show/festivals. Funny how a little factor like that can make or break a potential relationship or friendship. We'll see what happens!
#997
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,392 posts
Posted 23 March 2012 - 04:27 PM
So this thread is pretty awesome..... It has been running for a while now.....
I have also been hit on recently by some very cool people because of it...
Cameraman not so happy about it
I must say that I am glad that we can come together like this.....
I have also been hit on recently by some very cool people because of it...
Cameraman not so happy about it I must say that I am glad that we can come together like this.....
#998
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,298 posts
- LocationArlington, VA
Posted 26 March 2012 - 05:02 PM
So now a little over 2 weeks seeing this girl and it seems to be going well. I'm not sure where it's heading but there is still potential for something more. All I can say is we talk everyday, when we are together we have a good time, and we seem to align in the right places.
#1000
-
- VibeTribe
- 2,538 posts
Posted 27 March 2012 - 02:41 PM
So now a little over 2 weeks seeing this girl and it seems to be going well. I'm not sure where it's heading but there is still potential for something more. All I can say is we talk everyday, when we are together we have a good time, and we seem to align in the right places.
best of luck!
