1031 replies to this topic

[Joe]

So I can finally move on with no doubt in my mind what happened between me and my ex. She finally emailed me and answered some questions I had while we were breaking up. It wasn't the best closure but it's all I need to move on.

[vinandtonic]

that's good to hear.

and sorry to hear about your uncle

[FreeAsABird]

Joe...Sorry

[Joe]

Now a few weeks later, I'm still not looking forward to hopping in the dating world. Maybe my ambition has dwindled a bit on that, with everything else in my life has been a bit busy. Who knows???? It would be nice to meet someone with that instant connection I once found.

[unbroken_chain]

yep.

[cdrhead]

My ambition is growing.... ...not foR internet dating but just getting out there in general.
Give yourself plenty of time Joe....a few wEeks is nothing.

[Joe]

So I've hoped back on the dating wagon again. I met a girl at Trey over a week ago. We hit it off really well at the show, so I pursued her. We wound up going on a date last week and that seemed to also go well. It went well enough that she invited me to see Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi this Friday. Every thing seems to be going really well so far but there is one problem for me. I'm just not attracted to her. Personality wise she is an awesome girl, physically she has a great body, lives an active life, smart, and she is a cute girl. Just something for me isn't clicking. I really don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Fortunately if anything I think this will end up on a friends level. We have to much in common to pass up friendship.

[cdrhead]

Test the water....if its warm and wet you might come around.I hope you have fun anyway Joe I working on something right now.....hoping for the best and I surely get a funny feeling when we make eye contact.

[unbroken_chain]

funny things seen on dating sites:

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My pussy tastes like canned peaches.

[cdrhead]

Ha ha seriously....I hear you Joe. I have had the same thing happen to me but like I was just saying to someone else...you can't choose who you are going to like ... sometimes you just know

and as they say...

If you ever see this woman, the one that spins your head
You'd better take your money, hand it off to Ed

[Joe]

Soooooooooooo I recently jumped into high gear with dating again, especially this week. I've managed to set up 3 dates, with 3 different girls for myself. All of them are completely different people from what I experienced so far and can tell.

1st date was Wednesday night. This girl out of all of them gave off the impression to me that I would really get along with her well. Except that wound up not being true once we met up. This was the shortest date EVER for me last a little over 1 hr. Something between us didn't click. Conversation was good, no uncomfortable moments, but I felt an apprehensiveness with her.

2nd date was last night. This was a random date. She messaged me 2 weeks ago being forward saying that I looked like a fun person to be around and wanted to know if I wanted to meet her at wine bar. After emailing back and forth I said yeah why not. The girl has her act together, seemed to have a good personality from what I could tell. Well last night proved that. This girl was a lot of fun. We definitely connected. Even after we had 2 glass's each and the bill came we talked for another hour drinking our glass's of water. The added bonus was when parted her comment to me was I had a really good time, I would definitely like to see you again.

3rd Date is tonight. This one is a bit younger then me about 7 years difference. Normally I don't go for younger girls, but this girl seems to have her life together. We'll see what happens. Overall I think this date will be a fun time no matter what happens.

[unbroken_chain]

womanizer

(kidding, of course)

[cdrhead]

Rock on Joe You are gonna win one of these times !!!!!

I haven't been on a date in a long time...my last one fell through and I haven't caught up to her yet.....and I'm still hung up the girl I can't seem to have. Going to a show with her this weekend

[unbroken_chain]

be cautious with AFF, they don't likey to stop charging

we'll see if this comes true this time:
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[Joe]

womanizer

(kidding, of course)

Na, more like playing my odds. I figure the more I put myself out there chance are someone will equal something more.

So Date 3 was a nightmare and a complete fail. 1st and for most she lied about her appearance. Her picture must have been her 3 years earlier and 40lbs less. The way I see it she was already a liar from the moment she walked into the door. That pissed me off. Regardless the restaurant I choose is one of the best Greek restaurants in the area so I wasn't going to bounce on her. But I did have a plan on exaggerating my new cough so I had an easy out. We sat down started talking and all I can say this girl bitched the whole conversation. "She hated her job, she didn't like the people she worked with, she hates living in the DC area, etc... etc..." What a miserable person. After listening to her complain and not even ask one question about me, I tried directing conversation to something positive. All I can say is even that was rough. I had to draw conversation from every damn thing she said. For instance. "Have you traveled anywhere? (Her) No. (me) Oh, have you been out west before? (her) Yes, Utah and Arizona. Long Pause (me) mental thought "what the hell you just said you never been anywhere" where in Arizona and Utah have you been?" I think you get the idea. Talk about no talking skills. I was feeding her conversation and she couldn't even go with that. So here i was eating this amazing meal trying to block out this utter disappointment in front me. Finally the check came my point of freedom. When I suggested we split the bill she totally stiffed me and said na you can get it. I looked at her like what the fudge and said well splitting it would be cool. Yeah right. Instead of dealing with this argument I said fudge it, I'll pay the damn bill. You bet I bolted right after that. Thankfully the restaurant wasn't expensive.

All I can say is my description above was being short and polite.

In all, out of 3 dates one went well and that's all I could hope for. I'm looking forward to seeing Joy (2nd Date) again this coming week. She seems like a good girl and my speed. Only time will tell.

[cdrhead]

Lame dates suck.
I had an amazing time with that girl this weekend.great show and even better company I just need to keep things in perspective

[TEO]

Hoping that Joy enhances your joy in life.

[Joe]

So today i got a email from match.com

"Hi

I work in the marketing department for Match.com and wanted to present an opportunity to you that we think you would be great for.

Do you want to be filmed on a first date with someone you are interested in meeting from Match.com? These dates are light, fun and truly illustrate how exciting it can be when you give Match.com a try. So, if you're feeling spontaneous, we want to hear from you! If you aren't talking to anyone just yet, that's ok too! We're happy to help get the process started with you.

To see examples of First Dates we've recently filmed, visit http://www.youtube.com/matchusa

If you're interested in participating, please let me know ASAP so that I can give you more information involving next steps."


Funny, how they want me to potentially be in one of their commercials or most likely it is just a feeler to get people for their commercial. I'm thinking about doing it. I know they will match me with a completely compatible girl that's most likely a looker or a TV actress. Either way it might be a win win for me.

[unbroken_chain]

ensure your agent puts guaranteed coitus in the rider

[cdrhead]

Do you get paid for that Joe or just a free date ? ...one of the ladies I was bsing with on match told me they gave her a free lifetime membership cause her pic had the most hits....

As for me keeping perspective isn't working well.....the I want to fuck your brains out thing keeps getting in the way.Time to review ladder theory

[unbroken_chain]

Do you get paid for that Joe or just a free date ? ...one of the ladies I was bsing with on match told me they gave her a free lifetime membership cause her pic had the most hits....

I'd avoid that one

[Joe]

Do you get paid for that Joe or just a free date ? ...one of the ladies I was bsing with on match told me they gave her a free lifetime membership cause her pic had the most hits....

As for me keeping perspective isn't working well.....the I want to fuck your brains out thing keeps getting in the way.Time to review ladder theory

Paid, more like burning a hole in my pocket. What I found out is yes you get paid and also get a free life time membership with all the bells and whistles. I wound up not putting in for it. I don't want to be in a match commercial when I'm actually looking to find someone. Plus I don't fit the Preppy Clean Cut look.

On a side note things have fallen to non existent with Joy. After a little over a month of seeing each other, the realization of our personalities were not going to work came to be. There really wasn't a connection between us. So back on the full force search I go.

In all online dating this time around has been different. I find myself weeding out potential dates a lot more then before. My attitude has been I don't want to waste my time and well money. So far its worked well for me. For instance I have a date this week with a girl who I actually have a lot in common with, especially with our interests in music. She is just as into going to concerts as I am. Being that she is a Huge Phish fan is also a bonus. Besides that, through conversation she seems to have her act together. Only time will tell if we have a true connection but she is a lot closer to the type of girl I've been looking for then I've found in awhile.

[cdrhead]

Prolly a good choice not to do it Joe. If I ever do the online thing again, weeding out the bunk will be priority

I'm a liitle pissed that the married girl dosn't want to drop eveRything to be with me....but wtf did I expect ( I had to ask....before I fell all the way.. what her "plans" were for down the road and she says she just wants to be friends ! ) I've had a crush on her friend who is also hot .....and seems more interested....so I picked up where I left off chasing her !!! If we ever have that date I'm sure it will be nice

[Joe]

Prolly a good choice not to do it Joe. If I ever do the online thing again, weeding out the bunk will be priority

I'm a liitle pissed that the married girl dosn't want to drop eveRything to be with me....but wtf did I expect ( I had to ask....before I fell all the way.. what her "plans" were for down the road and she says she just wants to be friends ! ) I've had a crush on her friend who is also hot .....and seems more interested....so I picked up where I left off chasing her !!! If we ever have that date I'm sure it will be nice

Yeah I would say Married women are not worth the time and effort. Unless they are at an end of a marriage it's not worth pursuing. Maybe you'll get a fling out of it and a big head ache, but that's about it.

[cdrhead]

I think my biggest lesson out this is that men and women can't just be friends. I knew that already....because I don't have any female friends.

[JBetty]

I think my biggest lesson out this is that men and women can't just be friends. I knew that already....because I don't have any female friends.

I find it very interesting that I've only heard this sentiment from men, and I've often wondered why that is.
Are there any women out there who feel the same way?

(Two of my dearest friends of 30+ years are men.)

[TEO]

I have more male friends than female friends.

[cdrhead]

I have lots of female friends...most are married or spoken for. We don't hangout one on one.

[cdrhead]

I talking the poeple you spend the most time with......

[TEO]

Me too

[cdrhead]

So how many of those guys do you want to fuck ?

[TEO]

Maybe one or two.

[JBetty]

I don't want to fuck any of my male friends.
Well... there is one.

[JBetty]

Maybe one or two.

[cdrhead]

I guess it makes a big difference if you already have someone to have sex with...but then other things come into play

[JBetty]

Even when I was single for a few years, I didn't want to fuck any of my male friends.


I still think this is a predominantly male outlook.
I'd be interested to know if any women feel this way, because I've never heard a woman voice this sentiment.

[TEO]

I guess it makes a big difference if you already have someone to have sex with...but then other things come into play

Don't have that going on.

[TEO]

Even when I was single for a few years, I didn't want to fuck any of my male friends.


I still think this is a predominantly male outlook.
I'd be interested to know if any women feel this way, because I've never heard a woman voice this sentiment.

One or two here and there, but know that indulging fleeting lust is not good for friendships. However, innocent flirts here and there are nice for the confidence and eo.

I am still friends with a man I used to live with. Every once in a while a tinge of lust hits, then quickly passes with an internal smile and no external action, all for the better.

[JBetty]

I wish my ex would have been able to remain friends with me, because it sure would have made it a whole lot easier on our children.
I tried for years to keep some sort of parental bond going between us, but I guess he never cared about that part.

[TEO]

I hear you JBetty.

[Jersey Thug]

Even when I was single for a few years, I didn't want to fuck any of my male friends.


I still think this is a predominantly male outlook.
I'd be interested to know if any women feel this way, because I've never heard a woman voice this sentiment.

i definitely think men and women can (and should) be friends. i've learned so much from my male friends, and have gained perspective i never could have gotten from my girlfriends. i certainly don't sexualize every man i meet, and i don't think i would be in a relationship with a man who couldn't have a non-sexual relationship with a woman. there's so much we can learn from those friendships, and to discount that completely is short-sighted, i think.

that being said, it can be complicated at times, especially when you are both single and open to dating. but real friendship can withstand that, and in my experience things tend to sort themselves out in time, if you're meant to be in each others' lives for the long haul.

[Jersey Thug]

I wish my ex would have been able to remain friends with me, because it sure would have made it a whole lot easier on our children.
I tried for years to keep some sort of parental bond going between us, but I guess he never cared about that part.

i think some people need to project anger or disinterest in order to feel as though they've moved on from someone they once loved. it may be self-preservation, i don't know. i never really understood this, but i've seen it in action enough to know that they're doing what feels right to them.

still, it's hurtful and destructive and it sucks. sorry J-boobies

[JBetty]

Thanks Thug - I don't like it but I have found a certain sort of peace with the way things are, since I can't change it.
Anger can really fuck with you and those you love when you can't let it go.

But it's my youngest who is taking the brunt of all this, being made to feel like she has to choose sides and all that crap.
I just wish I could take that pain away from her.

[TEO]

(((Unconditional Love)))

[Joe]

I have a mix between female friends that I have that I would do, done, or would never do. For the most part every female friend has something about them that I find attractive. In all they are just not a complete package which is why they are just friends. The hardest part for me with some female friends that are ex's was jumping from dating to friends. I've managed to shut that relationship frame of mind out and move on. The way I see it is there was a reason we broke up, that didn't work, move on.

[TEO]

[Jersey Thug]

Thanks Thug - I don't like it but I have found a certain sort of peace with the way things are, since I can't change it.
Anger can really fuck with you and those you love when you can't let it go.

But it's my youngest who is taking the brunt of all this, being made to feel like she has to choose sides and all that crap.
I just wish I could take that pain away from her.

isn't that the truth.

i can only imagine how tough it must be for her, stuck in the middle between a parent intent on hurting you any way he can and you, trying to do the right thing.

is there any way you can talk to him about it privately? sounds like he already speaks against you to the kids anyway, so the risk of making it worse, i don't know... it may be worth it.

of course, my first instinct is to tell him he's being a selfish asshole, thinking only of himself when his first consideration should be what's best for the kids and not his own ego...

but that probably wouldn't go over so well or do any good at all. but if you could figure out how to say all that, without actually saying it. or if your daughter talks to you about the things he says, and how it affects her, maybe she can tell HIM that it only makes the whole thing harder on her, and makes her question things he tells her in general, since she knows the things he says about you are totally skewed... ?

i don't know. that's tough my ex-husband and i have managed to become friends in the years since our breakup, but we agreed from the beginning that we wanted to end up where we are now, and worked hard toward that. and we never had kids, which i know makes it even more important to keep lines of communication open, but also makes it more complicated to actually DO that.

good luck.

[Jersey Thug]

(not assuming you've never discussed this with him, of course. just, if it's been a while, maybe he'd be more open to hearing what you're saying now than in the past. maybe.)

[TEO]

Some exes want to keep on hurting their former partner, not every person has the desire to be reasonable or do what is best for others.

[JBetty]

Thank you ladies - that's pretty much it.
But enough about me.

And now back to your regularly scheduled Dating Website programming.
*hijacking was unintentional*