So I am tired of not dating...
Or finding people who are just not what I am looking for...
Has anyone tried dating web sites?
What do you think?
Dating websites?
Started by
Geminimoon
, May 31 2009 11:13 PM
1031 replies to this topic
#6
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 01 June 2009 - 03:35 AM
I met my husband on okcupid.com
Other then my husband, I did internet dating off and on for 2-3 years on okcupid and jdate (aimed at jews). I went on a LOT of first dates. Very few second dates. Hooked up with a few guys. Dated 1 for about 6 weeks. Dated another 2 for 2-3 weeks each. Made a few friends, although all seemed to back away a bit when I got into a serious relationship.
It's totally a numbers game...you talk to tons of guys online, meet few of them, like even fewer enough for a second date. My advice is don't invest emotionally too much into a guy until you meet in person, cause even if you have chemistry online you might not in real life. Don't wait too long to meet up, cause then you can build up the person into something they may not be, and the real thing can never live up to that. Don't meet to early too, cause someone who sounds awesome the first time you chat with them might reveal their crazyness on the second conversation when they are more comfortable with you. Maybe 2-3 weeks? Although I met my husband like a week after we first chatted online, so i broke my own rule I guess
Also make the first date really casual and short by design- like meet up for a cup of coffee or something and only hang out for an hour or so. That way if you are not feeling it you can leave with no awkwardness and if you like them you can set up a second "real" date, or you can extend the date if it is going really well. If you hook up with someone on the first date they will usually assume you were internet dating to hook up, and will assume you aren't interested in a serious relationship with them.
I should write a book on this shit
Other then my husband, I did internet dating off and on for 2-3 years on okcupid and jdate (aimed at jews). I went on a LOT of first dates. Very few second dates. Hooked up with a few guys. Dated 1 for about 6 weeks. Dated another 2 for 2-3 weeks each. Made a few friends, although all seemed to back away a bit when I got into a serious relationship.
It's totally a numbers game...you talk to tons of guys online, meet few of them, like even fewer enough for a second date. My advice is don't invest emotionally too much into a guy until you meet in person, cause even if you have chemistry online you might not in real life. Don't wait too long to meet up, cause then you can build up the person into something they may not be, and the real thing can never live up to that. Don't meet to early too, cause someone who sounds awesome the first time you chat with them might reveal their crazyness on the second conversation when they are more comfortable with you. Maybe 2-3 weeks? Although I met my husband like a week after we first chatted online, so i broke my own rule I guess
Also make the first date really casual and short by design- like meet up for a cup of coffee or something and only hang out for an hour or so. That way if you are not feeling it you can leave with no awkwardness and if you like them you can set up a second "real" date, or you can extend the date if it is going really well. If you hook up with someone on the first date they will usually assume you were internet dating to hook up, and will assume you aren't interested in a serious relationship with them.
I should write a book on this shit
#7
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 01 June 2009 - 03:40 AM
oh as for your actual question about sites...i liked okcupid cause it was free to use, and it also had these question things where you answered a bunch of questions about what you wanted in a partner (they have like 1000 questions...you can answer however many you like though, they are not mandatory) and if you had that characteristic, and then it would match you up with other people based on their and your answers to the questions. I think me and my husband had like a 91% match or something.
I think the people on that site also tended towards the nerdier/quirkier/freakier/less straight edge type people, which I liked as well. There are also some swinging married people on it, but most are single I think.
I think the people on that site also tended towards the nerdier/quirkier/freakier/less straight edge type people, which I liked as well.
There are also some swinging married people on it, but most are single I think.
:rotf:
#10
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 01 June 2009 - 04:41 PM
yep we met on okcupid- one of the things on okcupid is that your supposed to describe yourself in 3 words that go on the top of your profile...one of mine was "dirty hippie" and he sent me a message that said something like "not many people call themselves a dirty hippie anymore, did you ever see that south park hippie drill episode?"
anyways i love south park, so that made me look at his profile, and then he had all the same favorite authors as me and a lot of the same favorite music, so even though I wasn't really into his picture (he had a terrible 3 year old picture up of him that didn't look anything like him), i was like "what the heck, at least we can be friends"
So we chatted for a week, and then it turned out he lived right near me, and had some stuff I was interested in buying, so I figured I would go over and buy some stuff and see what was up, and maybe I would make a new friend. We only hung out like 40 minutes that first time (I made sure to go over when I had somewhere to be right afterwards), but he was a LOT cuter/my type in real life, and later that night I was at a party and I kept telling my friend how I met this guy and I think I kinda liked him...so I inivited him over the next weekend when I had some friends over (Browneyedgirl and motti and happyhourhero) and then he was like "hey, lets hang out without your friends sometime" and then the weekend after that we hooked up and after that I pretty much never left his house
So I guess my lesson is...don't judge people based on their terrible internet pictures?
anyways i love south park, so that made me look at his profile, and then he had all the same favorite authors as me and a lot of the same favorite music, so even though I wasn't really into his picture (he had a terrible 3 year old picture up of him that didn't look anything like him), i was like "what the heck, at least we can be friends"
So we chatted for a week, and then it turned out he lived right near me, and had some stuff I was interested in buying, so I figured I would go over and buy some stuff and see what was up, and maybe I would make a new friend. We only hung out like 40 minutes that first time (I made sure to go over when I had somewhere to be right afterwards), but he was a LOT cuter/my type in real life, and later that night I was at a party and I kept telling my friend how I met this guy and I think I kinda liked him...so I inivited him over the next weekend when I had some friends over (Browneyedgirl and motti and happyhourhero) and then he was like "hey, lets hang out without your friends sometime" and then the weekend after that we hooked up and after that I pretty much never left his house
So I guess my lesson is...don't judge people based on their terrible internet pictures?
#13
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- VibeTribe
- 12,071 posts
Posted 01 June 2009 - 06:10 PM
yep, that's my husband
he has great hair! that really isn't a flattering pic of him, though.
good for you for seeing past the bad pic and finding twue wuv. my brother found his husband on match.com and they're blissfully happy. i personally have no online dating experience... except of course for finding my mister right, right here
#18
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 02 June 2009 - 02:21 AM
he has great hair! that really isn't a flattering pic of him, though.
he now claims that he intentionally put up horrible photos to screen out superficial people... It's not even the hair, although that's ridiculous...his face has totally filled out since then and become more of an adult face...he just got better looking as he got older.
#23
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 03 June 2009 - 01:21 AM
so i started to fill out information on okcupid...
its a lot of questions and stuff to mess around with...
I barely have my name filled in and a guy is asking me to literally bust his balls...
WTF!!!
Come on now...
yeah as a new member you will probably be bombarded for a while
#36
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- VibeTribe
- 44 posts
Posted 26 June 2009 - 04:56 PM
I believe if you're fig-able, you're date-able!Tomorrow night...
It is strange...
But i am kinda excited...
I was beginning to think I was un date-able
Sorry, I just had to G.Moon!
All the best
Meet him out, and tell someone where you're going.
#40
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 27 June 2009 - 01:24 AM
Good luck... I've been on a few first dates with guys I met online I thought I could dig... Then I just didn't get a click when we went out... I've yet to have wanted to go on a second date with someone I've met on a dating site.
in like 3 years of internet dating I think I went on 3 second dates with people i met online..the first two turned into really short flings (6 weeks and 3 weeks) the third is now my husband
#46
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- VibeTribe
- 2,298 posts
- LocationArlington, VA
Posted 28 June 2009 - 10:26 PM
Geeze match and Okcupid luck????? I haven't met anyone on those sites. I feel like I made my self out to be some creep, when I know I haven't. No replys, no winks, no emails, nothing. Whats your trick, becuase I must be doing something wrong.
#48
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- VibeTribe
- 2,486 posts
Posted 29 June 2009 - 03:04 PM
Geeze match and Okcupid luck????? I haven't met anyone on those sites. I feel like I made my self out to be some creep, when I know I haven't. No replys, no winks, no emails, nothing. Whats your trick, becuase I must be doing something wrong.
post your profile and I can give you some advice if you want too.
also, in general I think guys email girls a lot more often then girls email guys on these websites, so girls seem to have better luck and don't have to put in much effort, while guys have to email a bunch of people to make their own luck.
#50
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- VibeTribe
- 3,940 posts
Posted 09 November 2009 - 03:27 AM
I looked at some dating sites 
Tons of guys and a few chicks. I checked out craigslist and answered a few adds. One actually answered back 
Yeah, her name is Katrina and she is twenty. She sent me some pictures and she wants to get together
Tons of guys and a few chicks. I checked out craigslist and answered a few adds. One actually answered back Yeah, her name is Katrina and she is twenty. She sent me some pictures and she wants to get together
