12 replies to this topic

[Wende]

I would like to share some of the stuff that I have learned throughout the last year of my wedding planning. And now that it is all said and done and i'm settled back in at home, it's all fresh enough for me to put down in words.

In the begining stages, don't let all the details bind you up too bad, although it's going to anyway.

One thing at a time.

If you are a woman, you pretty much have pretty good ideas as to what you would like to have. But now that you are with the man you were meant to be with, things may be different. So, talk to him, ask yourselves "What would be IDEAL" Don't think about money, guest lists, anything. Just come up with what would be PERFECT for the two of you. ANd then go from there. IT can be worked out, no matter what it is. First you need an idea.
For us, it was all about U-melt and our friends. That was our number ONE priority. We had to figure out a way to incorporate all of it together. (I think we did a pretty good freakin job too)
Next, remember, although this is YOUR day, it really isn't...it's all about the love and respect for family too. It's just as much your family's day as it is yours. We did our wedding our way, but thought about everyone else first (food and drink wise). WIth everyone happy, we were happy. IT's how it works.
Next, figure out where your help will be coming from. Money and stuff.
Don't force things. Let it all fall into place. Give yourself lots and lots of time. The only way to make it stress free, is to give yourself ample time.

Pick the people you really really want by your side to be in your wedding. Politically correct wedding party's suck, if you ask me. Sorry, a little self opinionated suggestion there.

Don't let money bring you down. If you need help and you are loved there are folks out there just waiting to help you. You will only be doing this once and then it's done. Do it right. I'm so glad we spent all the money we did. It was so perfect.

I'm rambling. I'm still high as a kite. I love weddings. I want to be a wedding planner.

[Wende]

I'll add more in a bit.

[Wende]

Oh and if you have really fat arms like me, cover them or you will regret it.

My only regret was my fat freakin arms.

[Wende]

I did have a kick ass party didn't I? Oh joy.

Yea, Randy, you deserve elegance..... The first thing I said (and I hope I don't offend anyone here) was NO FREAKING BUFFETS. I don't like the idea of my guests all hungry and shit going up table by table to pile food on their plates. It's kind of uncomfortable.

We did it family style. everyone got lots of food but it was elegant enough to say it was elegant.

[kramer]

but you can make buffet fun...

different tables = different food, maybe a stir fry station, sushi station, cheese and crackers... and then a couple big trays of yummy food...

dude, wende, the food @ the castle was freaking FANTASTIC. if my family lived farther north i'd totally steal your venue

[Dr. Lostreality]

a buffet worked out great for us, but we only had 19 guests so there wasn't much crowding at all.

my advice is to figure out what YOU want and not what some magazine tells you you want. Don't get too obsessed with tiny details, because you will spend an insane amount of time doing things for a 5 hour party, and you won't even notice or care about those things when you are actually there.

My other advice is that there are tons of crafty/artsy people on these boards and probably in your life, and use them! I had a friend who makes cards as a hobby, and who designed and made our invitations for the price of the materials ($25 in total!), CRB painted a live painting during the wedding, a semi-professional photographer friend of mine was our photographer for 1/5th the price of standard wedding photography.

Also Kramer- if you are thinking of having a bbq in the middle of the woods, there are a lot of state parks that will rent you a picnic pavilion for mad cheap (and many have grills right there too). The pavilion we had our wedding at- reserved for the entire day of the wedding and seats up to 80 people if you arrange things right- $86. You can easily decorate those with some tulle, or flowers, or hanging Chinese lanterns or something and make it really fancy-like (we opted for hanging up some nice tapestries, but our wedding was super casual)

[bsktcase]

a buffet worked out great for us, but we only had 19 guests so there wasn't much crowding at all.

my advice is to figure out what YOU want and not what some magazine tells you you want. Don't get too obsessed with tiny details, because you will spend an insane amount of time doing things for a 5 hour party, and you won't even notice or care about those things when you are actually there.

My other advice is that there are tons of crafty/artsy people on these boards and probably in your life, and use them! I had a friend who makes cards as a hobby, and who designed and made our invitations for the price of the materials ($25 in total!), CRB painted a live painting during the wedding, a semi-professional photographer friend of mine was our photographer for 1/5th the price of standard wedding photography.

Also Kramer- if you are thinking of having a bbq in the middle of the woods, there are a lot of state parks that will rent you a picnic pavilion for mad cheap (and many have grills right there too). The pavilion we had our wedding at- reserved for the entire day of the wedding and seats up to 80 people if you arrange things right- $86. You can easily decorate those with some tulle, or flowers, or hanging Chinese lanterns or something and make it really fancy-like (we opted for hanging up some nice tapestries, but our wedding was super casual)

I'm stepping in here again . For our reception, my boyfriend thought we should put 'fairy lights' around the pillars of the pavilion. We bought lots of boxes of them after Christmas time on sale (the white lights on a string) and are going to spiral them down the pillars. Again, a subtle touch but it does dress the place up.

[bsktcase]

i found some parks in the area that will do this, but Diddy voiced his concern that with a public park, you don't really have privacy or control over who "pops in"... my friend had her ceremony in a public sculpture garden, and there were bikers and pedestrians walking past & gawking the WHOLE time the rabbi was performing the ceremony. it was definitely awkward so i understand his concern... but we haven't ruled it out completely yet... it would just have to be the right situation for us. also, again, there's the "old lady" factor my dad says my great aunts and older cousins expect a certain level of comfort-- i.e. a padded chair underneath their ass. sad but true!!!

You could always bring seat cushions, right? Or even throw around a few comfy deck chairs for the older crowd to lounge in while everyone else is dancing.

[Dr. Lostreality]

yeah, we were in a public park and a few people walked by in this path in the distance, but no one gawked or anything...actually a few people drove by, saw that there was an event going on, and went on to another part of the park. I didn't see any strangers at all during the ceremony.

It helped that we picked an isolated part of an isolated park. The park we were at was also huge, so there were tons of other places for people to go (we were in "picnic area #17, so I assume there were at least 16 others).

[wabbit]

Be open to ideas.. When I was planning my wedding, we went back and forth about having our reception at the Portsmouth Elks club. Neither of us really wanted it there because we had that "dark, dingy" picture in our mind. We wanted it outside, under a tent, etc. But then we realized that we could save quite a bit at the Elks club because my grandfather was an Elk from CT and could get us a discount. Once we saw the place, we realized that it was truly beautiful and had a huge deck, was right on the river and just serene and all of that. So much, we decided to just have our reception in the back "yard" area. Had we not opened our minds, we would have missed out on a beautiful location. People still tell us how beautiful the setting at our wedding was.

Wende, your pictures are gorgeous.. I felt like a linebacker in my dress as well, basically like I was going to spike the bouquet rather than toss it!!!

We did have a buffet, but no one seemed to mind. We did have some things on the table family style, but the meats/main courses were in the buffet. It moved along pretty quickly and everyone seemed pretty happy.

Get a decent dj if you are getting a dj. give him a list of what you do not want. If you are in the southern NH area, get Mojo's Music. Good friend Chris Maurice from college.. excellent dj. He isn't one of those over the top annoying guys... don't stress over your cake! just find something that is nice and moist, it doesn't have to be 700 tiers tall. No one remembers the size, they remember if it tastes good.

I'll think of more!

I would LOVE to be a weddding planner.. If I ever need to find another career, I would do that in a heartbeat. I am type a enough to make it work, I think..

[Wende]

I don't think I told anyone what I did with the bouquet.

I threw it and then grabbed it from the girl who caught it and gave it to Flip.

WHO DOES THAT??? Seriously, what kind of bride am I?

[wabbit]

The Elks Club in Portsmouth has this HUGE elk head on the front of the building.. it was ugly, but I got over it.. II wanted to climb up and put a wreath of flowers around it's neck, but that would have been kind of insulting to the grand poobah elk) (I know, exalted leader, my g.father was one, but I still call it grand poobah) If you look in the wedding finery thread, you can see how beautiful it was behind us.. right on the water, it was a humid day later on, but the morning was misty, almost ireland like.. gorgeous for pictures.. the greens just popped out..

[Marcia]

Thanks for all the tips Wende.

Every wedding planner will face different situation in a different wedding. Wedding planners has to learn from each and every wedding they plan. Being a wedding planner is a great thing as we will get personal satisfaction when the couple