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Examples of The Insanity of Alcoholic Thinking


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#1 roo

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Posted 04 November 2011 - 02:29 PM

Heres a good one.. It didnt matter if someone was my Closest friend/girlfriend in life ,if my drinking ,security ,or basic needs were threatened my lovely friend named Jameson would tell me to eliminate them from my life. In ANY way neccasary.

the insanity of my alcoholic thinking was that you would leave me anyway but Jameson would always be with me. Destroying all and everybody around me.

i can relate to the farmer who comes up out of his tornado cellar to find Everything in rubble.

#2 roo

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Posted 04 November 2011 - 02:33 PM

another good one.. I need twenty bucks to drink ,after already downing endless uncountable drinks and shots ,still with a half full pint of whatever i could get my hands on in my back pocket. A friend/girlfriend offers to get me a drink AND puts twenty in my hand without a word. i SAY i'll pay him back... WITH WHAT JOB!!?:dunno::rolleyes:

the insanity is that everthing i said i would never become or do i became! BAFFLING

#3 child_of_boundless_seas

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Posted 08 November 2011 - 03:24 AM

Oh man, the list goes on but I'll mention one of the last episodes of my drinkologue. I had to meet some friends in the city, but decided I would drink a bottle of vodka before-- well I didn't intend to drink the whole bottle, but you know how we drink. So I get most of the way there but its raining so hard and I am lost and I suddenly can't see much more than the hood of the car. So I pull over and pass out. I wake up hours later to the cops knocking on my window asking me why I parked halfway into an intersection. They took my keys, called my sister, and she came and rescued me. I was sick the whole next day...until of course I got my car back, went home, and started on another bottle. My girlfriend moved out and then broke up with me a few days later. I lost her, my home. I was at bottom. I detoxed myself through dt's for 5 days. They were 5 of the worst days of my life. I never want to go back to that again.

#4 roo

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Posted 11 November 2011 - 03:36 PM

Thinking that my boss needed ME! Forgetting he had had his company for fifteen plus years and is way more knowledgable than me in carpentry and i dont know shit. It didnt matter that i showed up half hour late and hungover ,if i showed up at all on some occasions.
He wouldnt fire me because he knew i would end up in a gutter ,but it amazes me that he didnt kick my ass a few times.

#5 roo

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 04:36 PM

an odd one that popped up out of the recesses yesterday.. One of my first jobs ,on my own at 23 ,the home owner gave me a bonus of TWO tickets to see The Who at Jones Beach. the "special guest" opener was Robert Plant!
somewhere in the third song of the Who i said "fuck this ,they don't even serve beer" and walked out.

#6 TEO

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 02:20 AM

It takes awareness & courage to look within and face that which we have tried to avoid, mask, drown, etc.

Much Love, Strength, Courage & Inner Peace <3

#7 In A Silent Way

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Posted 10 May 2012 - 05:49 PM

:panic:

#8 roo

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Posted 08 August 2012 - 08:09 PM

thinking i could drink again IN MODERATION after a week or two of abstinence.

#9 roo

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 10:48 PM

i heard a speaker put an interesting spin on the word "insanity" concerning step two.. the insanity wasnt what was done while under the influence of alcohol ,such behaviours are to be expected ,but the choices and thinking we made before we had the first drink of the day that led to the night ,days ,or in some cases weeks out of mind.

an exact example.. Knowing that i wouldnt stop until i was dead ,in jail ,in a hospital ,or in two cases passed out on the train tracks in stony brook i still would make the "INSANE" choice to pick up that first drink!!

woah.. woah.. now THAT is some serious insight

#10 KrisNYG

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 01:12 AM

I love you Roo! Thanks for sharing and keeping on.

Yes, I know I'm a weirdo. :tongue:

#11 In A Silent Way

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Posted 04 October 2012 - 02:33 PM

Posted Image

#12 sums

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 02:16 PM

:funny1:

#13 In A Silent Way

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 02:12 AM

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#14 roo

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 03:50 PM

Ha ,love that guy

#15 roo

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 04:03 PM

after a night (or three) of drinking i would eventually get the phone call of what i did during the previous night. Or running into someone i had offended or disrespected or damaged something in one way or another (what did i know i was on a tear) i would laugh it off and brush it right off my shoulder because My Insane Alcoholic Thinking had me believing that Everyone drinks and acts like this ,so your just giving me shit because its me.

Turns out everyone wasnt drinking or acting that way when they were drinking. It was just me. Even though it wasnt intended my Fun was at the expense of others. Either there feelings or property or peace of mind and in some cases their personal safety.

I am working on this attitude adjustment. I strive for progress not perfection on this one :D

#16 roo

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Posted 06 June 2013 - 03:14 PM

Heres a great one..
After a Massive day AND night of Mayhem started at West Meadow beach to my parents house (getting thrown out for being wasted but nowhere even close to being "Done") to The velvet lounge where i somehow started an all out bar brawl (i'm talkin chairs over the bar ,girls fightin dudes bottles flying everywhere) they escorted me through the kitchen and out the back so i wouldnt get arrested for anything i didnt actually do. Apparently some dudes girl was flirting with me and him and his four bros thought they could take me but what they didn't know was they were in one of "my" bars. So it just erupted into Mayhem.
After walking out the back and through the woods i remember nothing but saying "woo that was awesome and i need a nap."
Tap Tap Tap. I open my eyes without my glasses on and all i see is a shadow over me with a funny shaped hat and blue sky. I hear "are you ok?"
As i put my glasses on i start to hear a Humming and then i see its a train conductor. I now see the train forty feet behind him.

HERE is The Attitude. I answered him.. "Yeah ,are you alright!" With an attitude of hey I'm sleeping here. I got up and see i almost made it to the fairway of the golf course ,fifteen feet to my left.

HERE is the INSANITY. I kept drinking after that. And it happened TWICE more.
The insanity to keep drinking knowing that i could wake up on active train tracks or not wake up as the train is rolling over and through me.
Was i trying to kill myself? Maybe. All i know is fuck that! Im not going out like that!

#17 roo

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Posted 06 June 2013 - 03:16 PM

Can you say "hole in my soul?" I can.

#18 In A Silent Way

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 02:41 AM

935683_10151440268217314_1963266973_n.jp



#19 Tim the Beek

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 01:16 PM

:lmao:



#20 In A Silent Way

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 02:02 PM

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#21 roo

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 06:37 PM

Hehe funny but theres something not right about that last one

#22 In A Silent Way

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 07:09 PM

Sorry to hijack the thread with silly memes.  :cheesy:

 

 

We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and troubles of others find we are soon overcome by them.

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 132


#23 hoagie

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 09:10 PM

Its very hard to cry when you are constantly laughing.  good advice



#24 roo

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Posted 07 June 2013 - 10:21 PM

The others ones are great ,its that last one thats weird ,something about Niel Patrick saying that made me skeevy lol