11 replies to this topic

[roo]

Heres a good one.. It didnt matter if someone was my Closest friend/girlfriend in life ,if my drinking ,security ,or basic needs were threatened my lovely friend named Jameson would tell me to eliminate them from my life. In ANY way neccasary.

the insanity of my alcoholic thinking was that you would leave me anyway but Jameson would always be with me. Destroying all and everybody around me.

i can relate to the farmer who comes up out of his tornado cellar to find Everything in rubble.

[roo]

another good one.. I need twenty bucks to drink ,after already downing endless uncountable drinks and shots ,still with a half full pint of whatever i could get my hands on in my back pocket. A friend/girlfriend offers to get me a drink AND puts twenty in my hand without a word. i SAY i'll pay him back... WITH WHAT JOB!!?

the insanity is that everthing i said i would never become or do i became! BAFFLING

[child_of_boundless_seas]

Oh man, the list goes on but I'll mention one of the last episodes of my drinkologue. I had to meet some friends in the city, but decided I would drink a bottle of vodka before-- well I didn't intend to drink the whole bottle, but you know how we drink. So I get most of the way there but its raining so hard and I am lost and I suddenly can't see much more than the hood of the car. So I pull over and pass out. I wake up hours later to the cops knocking on my window asking me why I parked halfway into an intersection. They took my keys, called my sister, and she came and rescued me. I was sick the whole next day...until of course I got my car back, went home, and started on another bottle. My girlfriend moved out and then broke up with me a few days later. I lost her, my home. I was at bottom. I detoxed myself through dt's for 5 days. They were 5 of the worst days of my life. I never want to go back to that again.

[roo]

Thinking that my boss needed ME! Forgetting he had had his company for fifteen plus years and is way more knowledgable than me in carpentry and i dont know shit. It didnt matter that i showed up half hour late and hungover ,if i showed up at all on some occasions.
He wouldnt fire me because he knew i would end up in a gutter ,but it amazes me that he didnt kick my ass a few times.

[roo]

an odd one that popped up out of the recesses yesterday.. One of my first jobs ,on my own at 23 ,the home owner gave me a bonus of TWO tickets to see The Who at Jones Beach. the "special guest" opener was Robert Plant!
somewhere in the third song of the Who i said "fuck this ,they don't even serve beer" and walked out.

[TEO]

It takes awareness & courage to look within and face that which we have tried to avoid, mask, drown, etc.

Much Love, Strength, Courage & Inner Peace

[In A Silent Way]

[roo]

thinking i could drink again IN MODERATION after a week or two of abstinence.

[roo]

i heard a speaker put an interesting spin on the word "insanity" concerning step two.. the insanity wasnt what was done while under the influence of alcohol ,such behaviours are to be expected ,but the choices and thinking we made before we had the first drink of the day that led to the night ,days ,or in some cases weeks out of mind.

an exact example.. Knowing that i wouldnt stop until i was dead ,in jail ,in a hospital ,or in two cases passed out on the train tracks in stony brook i still would make the "INSANE" choice to pick up that first drink!!

woah.. woah.. now THAT is some serious insight

[KrisNYG]

I love you Roo! Thanks for sharing and keeping on.

Yes, I know I'm a weirdo.

[In A Silent Way]

[sums]