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a very difficult decision


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#1 sums

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Posted 28 February 2009 - 08:06 PM

so, i've been feeling lately that i can't provide jefe (my iguana) the kind of home she deserves. i am not a reptile person, never have been but i adopted her from my older son when he could no longer care for her.

the other thing about her is that it is impossible to find someone to watch her if we want to go anywhere as a family. believe me, we've tried... she needs to be bathed when she wants to poop (which is an arbitrary time). if she just poops wherever, it is awful. messy and stinky. and she also has a very specific diet (not nearly as difficult as the pooping thing). i love her a lot but i feel like one of us has to always be home to care for her.

and don't even get me started on her egg laying period...

also, twice in the last 3 days she's lashed out. 1st when i was holding her, then at forest. i feel like she is just not happy.

so.... yesterday i decided that she should be with an iguana person. someone who understands her and will provide for her in the manner to which she has become accustomed. i know there are a few people here in town who raise and keep (and love) iguanas.

so, i called the guy, matt, who she lived with for a couple of weeks when she escaped last fall. i told him i wanted to place her with someone but NOT someone who "just wanted an iguana", someone who actually had iguanas and knew how to take care of her.

he didn't even hesitate. he said "i want her." he told me that she could live at his store (which is a reptile lover's paradise) and that he would build her a special enclosure plus provide an open "lounging" space for her (since i don't have her enclosed here). he told me that she would be a wonderful example of why people should not have an iguana unless they know exactly how big they're going to grow and how much care/special environment they need. he said he doesn't even sell iguanas (only other lizards and snakes) because people think they know what they're getting into when they really don't. he said he sees iguanas come in that are 7 or 8 years old and only 2 feet long because of improper nutrition. (jefe is close to 5 feet, tip to tip)

the coolest part was that matt said jefe was a gorgeous animal, obviously well cared for, healthy, the right size and had a great disposition (although he did mention that she liked his girlfriend better than him... :funny1: )

i am so relieved and yet so sad... he's moving his store to a bigger location this week so i have another week with her... (but i can visit her anytime i want, of course). i keep asking myself if i'm doing the right thing. my whole family thinks that it will be ideal for her. i guess i have another week to really figure it out.

:heart:

#2 Drop_o_Rain

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Posted 28 February 2009 - 09:42 PM

sometimes the things that are the hardest for us to do are the right things.

if you love something, set it free.

Don't let your love for her hold her hostage... she will still see you. I think that you are relieved because it is the right thing for her and you are sad because of your love for her.

Much love to you during this difficult decision making process. :heart:

#3 sums

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Posted 28 February 2009 - 11:23 PM

thanks kimmy. that is exactly why i feel the way i do :heart:

thanks for reading all that too, it was kinda long ;)

#4 TEO

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Posted 28 February 2009 - 11:40 PM

Sounds as though Jefe pre-picked her future family. Time to let her go, as we must with most of our children. :heart:

#5 mamapajama

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Posted 01 March 2009 - 07:54 PM

All three of you ladies are so wise.
It sounds like a great solution. Pooping sounds like a really big deal for an iguana...I had no idea.

#6 sarah b.

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Posted 02 March 2009 - 11:26 PM

sounds like you're doing the best thing for everyone involved. way cool that matt's so into her. sounds like Jefe will be in great hands. so glad you'll be able to visit. :heart:

#7 vinandtonic

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Posted 03 March 2009 - 10:30 PM

this story represents the epitome of a responsible pet owner.
:heart:

#8 sums

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Posted 03 March 2009 - 11:32 PM

thanks you guys :) i'm glad matt gave me a week. it's been good to think about it, go over it with my family and really examine how i feel. part of me is really sad but the bigger part of me knows i'm doing the right thing :heart:

#9 wabbit

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Posted 03 March 2009 - 11:50 PM

:heart:

I think you've made the right decision, it sounds like you have found a wonderful new forever family for Jefe.. And being able to visit and "check" up on her will make things that much more wonderful!

:heart:

#10 georgi

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 10:52 AM

:heart:

#11 Jersey Thug

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 10:18 PM

:heart:

I think you've made the right decision, it sounds like you have found a wonderful new forever family for Jefe.. And being able to visit and "check" up on her will make things that much more wonderful!

:heart:


co-signed times eleventy billion!

((((Summer))))

it really does sound like the perfect situation for her and for you, too. :heart:

#12 seany

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 10:29 PM

So I guess a BBQ is out of the question? :huh:

I kid, I kid! :lol:

Sounds like you made the right decision. My friends had to do something similar w/ an iguana their daughter had. At the time when they first got it, I thought, "Somehow this isn't going to seem like such a good idea after about 5 or 10 years..."

#13 irie

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 11:20 PM

awww. but how wonderful!! it does sound like Jefe picked out her own future family, doesn't it? <3

#14 Drop_o_Rain

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Posted 05 March 2009 - 02:17 AM

I hope this weekend goes smoothly. Don't be embarrassed to shed those tears. :heart:

Much love to you and much love to Jefe... may she grow happier and stronger and bigger in her new den. Won't she surprise you when you come to visit. :heart:

#15 sums

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Posted 06 March 2009 - 01:33 AM

i'm calling tomorrow to see when is good for us to drop her on saturday :heart:

it really is kind of cosmic that she ran away and was rescued by these folks (matt has a couple of guys that work for him plus his girlfriend. they're all reptile people, of course)

#16 HoopsTer

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Posted 06 March 2009 - 03:42 PM

aww that is so hard :heart:

But just think, the wonderful thing is that you can stop by the store and see Jefe!! And it really sounds like such a good place for her!


#17 sums

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Posted 06 March 2009 - 10:01 PM

so after i dropped forest off at the college today, i swung by their new store. it's really awesome! a lot more space than their old store. matt wasn't there but i talked to his girlfriend, caroline. i told her that i was conflicted because i really loved jefe but i knew that their place was such a better environment for her. she said, "it really shows how much you love her by wanting to give her a better home." :heart:

she showed me the corner where they're going to transform into her place and it's a gigantic space. they want to have both an indoor and outdoor environment for her. it couldn't be more ideal.

:)

#18 KrisNYG

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Posted 06 March 2009 - 11:01 PM

aww that is so hard :heart:

But just think, the wonderful thing is that you can stop by the store and see Jefe!! And it really sounds like such a good place for her!


...and you won't have to deal with the poop! :thup::lol:

Sounds like a great place for her, she's very lucky to have all of you.:) Good luck tomorrow.:heart:

#19 Sunshower

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 12:47 AM

I can only imagine that it must have been a tough decision, Summer. But you did the RIGHT thing. Totally selfless. :smile:

#20 seany

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 12:51 AM

she showed me the corner where they're going to transform into her place and it's a gigantic space. they want to have both an indoor and outdoor environment for her. it couldn't be more ideal.

:)


Awesome!

:clapping:

#21 TEO

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 01:34 AM

So wonderful :heart:

#22 mountain mama

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 02:22 AM

it really is kind of cosmic that she ran away and was rescued by these folks (matt has a couple of guys that work for him plus his girlfriend. they're all reptile people, of course)


:heart:Destiny:heart: all the best to you and your family and Jefe! It sounds just right!

#23 sums

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 02:12 AM

so i dropped her off this afternoon and was talking to one of the young guys i've seen in there and it turns out he's matt's brother, eric. he loved her right away and asked me all kinds of questions about her and told me what a beautiful lizard she was and how people bring in their sick iguanas so he knows a healthy one when he sees one.

i also talked to caroline and she was asking me about jef's diet and after i told her a few things she said, "that sounds exactly like what i feed my tortise!" i was telling her that iguanas can't eat anything in the brassica family (like kale or chard) and she told me the chemical reason why their stomachs can't digest it (!)

at the end she thanked me for bringing jef in and told me that they already had a bond from when she escaped and spent a week with her at their home last fall :heart:

it was so cool :)

#24 TEO

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 02:29 AM

(((Summer)))

So glad that Caroline was able to say, just what you needed to hear x2. :heart:

#25 sums

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 04:16 AM

my feelings are so strange. i'm sad and yet relieved...

#26 TEO

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 04:43 AM

my feelings are so strange. i'm sad and yet relieved...



To be expected....You raised and nurtured her. So unselfish of you, to facilitate her move to the the next phase of her growth. Always remember she is near, and in capable loving hands. :heart:

#27 sums

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 05:03 AM

thanks renee :) :heart:

#28 sarah b.

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 05:08 AM

awesome. :heart:

#29 Jersey Thug

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 10:08 PM

i love happy endings :heart:

(((Sums' loving, sensible and sensitive heart)))

#30 sums

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Posted 10 March 2009 - 10:55 PM

i'm gonna go visit her this weekend. it was so weird, i heard scratching at her door the other day (she always scratched to get out when it was time to eat/poop) and my heart kind of skipped a beat until i opened the door and there was my boycat :lol:

#31 nancykind

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Posted 15 March 2009 - 05:18 AM

awww, i missed this thread. you'll only become more convinced when you see her thriving :heart:

#32 sums

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Posted 15 March 2009 - 05:49 AM

i didn't make it over there today but i'm definitely going tomorrow :heart:

#33 sums

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Posted 15 March 2009 - 11:36 PM

we went and visited jef today. they haven't built her "area" yet (they still have a lot of work to do in their new building!) but they had her up high, kind of like she was yertle the turtle of the reptile store :funny1:

she seemed healthy. always hard to say if she's "happy" but she seemed very alert :heart: