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I deactivated the bookface.


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#1 nikkiblue

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:07 PM

Hi. 

 

I've been meaning to do it for some time, and just figured I would leave it, but I honestly don't even want to think about it anymore. 

 

I'm trying to be a better person.  I've realized that facebook is actually preventing that....

 

For the past few years, I think I have actually turned UN-grateful for the things I have.  It has slowly eaten me alive watching what others 'seem' to have, and how happy most people seem.  I've spent too much time paying attention to what others are doing with their lives, that I haven't even been living mine... Or taken care of the things that I should. 

 

I've had to stress over if someone is going to post a picture of me where I look fat, or have a funny face.. for the whole world to see.  I've had to stress if someone is going to post something inappropriate.  I've had to stress over friend requests from co-workers or clients.  I've had to stress over others opinions and the realization that some of the people I thought were pretty cool, actually have some fucked up opinions.  I've gotten into a fight with my brother on it, and countless drama has popped up with me and Capt. so that the whole world knows then we just had a fight. It makes me late for work because I'll waste time saying Happy birthday to people I'll probably never even see again.  It's too much information.  It's not healthy to have to pay attention to so many other people.  It's made me fogret about the ones right here in front of me.  

 

I just can't anymore.  I miss the board, and I have always gravitated to FB in my spare time, reading the board secondary, and mostly never even getting here.   It's good to be home, and it's good to have the FB gone.  

 

Thanks for listening. 

I love you guys. 

XOXO

Nikki

 

 

 

 

 

 



#2 sarah b.

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:21 PM

there goes the neighborhood. :D nah, I hear you, nikki. focuing on the 3D makes lots of sense.

#3 nikkiblue

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:27 PM

And not only happy stuff... FB shows you a lot of sadness too.  You see when peoples pets or family dies, you see when someone had a house fire or other tragedy.  So time is spent feeling bad for an old coworkers dying child, when, again.. I havent seen them in 15 years, and probably will never again. its too much. 



#4 nikkiblue

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:31 PM

there goes the neighborhood. :D nah, I hear you, nikki. focuing on the 3D makes lots of sense.

 

:grin:   

 

It will give me more time to make rubberband bracelets.  :) 



#5 Roasted and Toasted

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:55 PM

I'm trying to be a better person.  I've realized that facebook is actually preventing that....

 

For the past few years, I think I have actually turned UN-grateful for the things I have.  It has slowly eaten me alive watching what others 'seem' to have, and how happy most people seem.  I've spent too much time paying attention to what others are doing with their lives, that I haven't even been living mine... Or taken care of the things that I should. 

 

I've had to stress over if someone is going to post a picture of me where I look fat, or have a funny face.. for the whole world to see.  I've had to stress if someone is going to post something inappropriate.  I've had to stress over friend requests from co-workers or clients.  I've had to stress over others opinions and the realization that some of the people I thought were pretty cool, actually have some fucked up opinions.  I've gotten into a fight with my brother on it, and countless drama has popped up with me and Capt. so that the whole world knows then we just had a fight. It makes me late for work because I'll waste time saying Happy birthday to people I'll probably never even see again.  It's too much information.  It's not healthy to have to pay attention to so many other people.  It's made me fogret about the ones right here in front of me.  

 

 

This is an awesome step forward that many could benefit from. Live your  life, love your real friends. It seems you have a lot of them.



#6 nikkiblue

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 01:01 PM

Indeed, R&T.... I'm very blessed with good friends in my life.  Many who I have met here.  

 

At least on the board, I can be myself, and not worry if I sound stupid, or if I'm insulting anyone.  <3 



#7 TheDHJ

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 01:32 PM

n. Bookface A person who is portrayed to be much more physically attractive on Facebook™ than his/her self in real life.

#8 china cat

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:20 PM

Good for you, Nik

 

I vacillate between appreciating it and abhorring it. I take breaks from it and come back... 

 

Would be nice to see ya more 'round here :)



#9 williscat2000

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 02:46 PM

i totally agree with your post and sentiment. I think it can fill us up with jealousy, desire, and other stuff....sure I see people's kids and stuff and they can see mine, which is cool, and it is a good way to keep in simple touch with people, but there is a whole darkside to it as well. The amount of time I spent early on can't be returned to me...a lot of it does have to do with how we feel about ourselves in relation to others. I want to delete my account, but on the other hand I feel like I've made such an investment in time, that its hard to do. Likewise- I have some great pics of my family and other good memories that I don't know if I want to delete it and start over somewhere else(or not at all)...my middle ground is that I don't post many updates and I limit how long I spend looking at the updates.I can very easily lose 2 hours and go "what the hell just happened to my night"



#10 Julius

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:05 PM

I only like it so I can laugh daily and heartily about how fucking ugly your babies are.  :devil: 



#11 chefjeff

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:06 PM

I treat it like this board. I go and look for music updates then step back. If there is someone that is hurting inside I will jump in!!!

 

For some reason why I tend to sit in silence almost all day and work then I have no TV so I listen to the birds for awhile when I walk. Im never sad

unless I see someone else hurting. 

 

I am upset that Ants have invaded my appt in the last two day due to rain but you know what even ants need a place to crash once in a while!

 

Ant Cake

 

Cheffrey



#12 Julius

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:06 PM

and your cat is retarded.  :grin: 



#13 chefjeff

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:23 PM

Yes she is:)



#14 jnjn

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:33 PM

I only like it so I can laugh daily and heartily about how fucking ugly your babies are.  :devil:

 

the only thing i ever really enjoyed about facebook was flipping through all the baby photos my friends post :funny1:

 

(((babies that aren't mine))) :lol:



#15 Ginger Snap

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:35 PM

I'm behind you on this Nikki- I've been taking frequent extended breaks from it and I feel happier and clearer for it. I don't like how it makes me feel. Only reason I'm on now is so I can retrieve all the numbers of my friends because my phone broke over the weekend. Give it a week, even two, and you'll stop and realize you haven't thought about it at all, and you don't even miss it...that's how it is for me anyhow. Only thing I do miss is the Boston Music group- that one is cool cause then I know what's playing in town and who is going. 

 

Oh yeah and Nikki- pm me your phone number. :lol:



#16 Julius

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:48 PM

This thread has inspired me to go tell everyone Anders Osborne needs guitar lessons.  :lol: 



#17 Ginger Snap

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:49 PM

:lmao:



#18 TheDHJ

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 03:54 PM

FB is essential to me as there's many people spread out across the world that I need to keep in touch with, sometimes simultaneously.

I also use it to track my travels and restos I've been to so it's easy access when someone needs a recommendation.

My personal rule is no debating politics or religion. I only say something when it's extreme right wing propaganda that defames entire races or religions.

#19 Royal

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 06:18 PM

FB is essential to me as there's many people spread out across the world that I need to keep in touch with, sometimes simultaneously.

I also use it to track my travels and restos I've been to so it's easy access when someone needs a recommendation.

My personal rule is no debating politics or religion. I only say something when it's extreme right wing propaganda that defames entire races or religions.

If you don't like extreme right wingers, why do you live in Colorado Springs? :popcorn:

#20 Ginger Snap

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 06:19 PM

If you don't like extreme right wingers, why do you live in Colorado Springs? :popcorn:

 

easy hunting. :smile: 



#21 Ginger Snap

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 06:31 PM

By the way...I just wanted to say that I think you are already a really good person Nikki. If there's some behaviors you want to change, I get that, believe me, I get that, but just know you are a good person. :heart: :smile: 



#22 Geminimoon

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 10:54 PM

I try not to spend a lot of time on it these days.

I realized I was checking it a lot and that bothered me.

I think it has it's benifits but like all things done in moderation.

I commend your choice. :heart:

#23 Java Time

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 01:16 AM

I only keep my fb acct cuz I set up my friends' band page...and to read the vibes page close to fest time. I don't appreciate being force fed politics, religion and other absurdities...or being profiled where people and businesses keep showing up on my page that I never "liked' or viewed any of them. Good for you Nikki!!!

#24 Royal

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 02:34 AM

I only keep my fb acct cuz I set up my friends' band page...and to read the vibes page close to fest time. I don't appreciate being force fed politics, religion and other absurdities...or being profiled where people and businesses keep showing up on my page that I never "liked' or viewed any of them. Good for you Nikki!!!

Jesus loves you

#25 gregoir

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:11 AM

What the fuck?  Now I can only stir the pot over here! :joker:

 

Love you nikkiblue :heart:  sorry you were jealous and shit of me living with my parents.  :pimp:



#26 nikkiblue

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 12:02 PM



My personal rule is no debating politics or religion. I only say something when it's extreme right wing propaganda that defames entire races or religions.

 

But that's the worst time to say something if your trying to avoid a debate....  

 

Thanks for everyone's support & love.  I took the icon off the bookmarks bar... old habits are hard to break, and that helps.  I already feel better.  It was nice to come home last night, and not check fb as one of the first things I do.

 

I'm going through some serious work drama right now, and I don't want to have added emotional stress.... (possible thread coming about that!lol) 

 

It's funny... I can watch TV, no problem... And I'm never envious of the things that I see on TV... but on FB I found myself thinking...."Wow, they have a really nice fireplace.. I wish I had a fireplace. I'll probably never live someplace with a fireplace..." as one of the million things I feel like I need because it seems 'everyone else' has it... (which is just ridiculous, I know)



#27 nikkiblue

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 12:02 PM

What the fuck?  Now I can only stir the pot over here! :joker:

 

Love you nikkiblue :heart:  sorry you were jealous and shit of me living with my parents.   :gregoir:

  Do you have a fireplace?  lol. 



#28 Condormania

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 01:41 PM

My personal rule is no debating politics or religion. I only say something when it's extreme right wing propaganda that defames entire races or religions.

 My personal rule for Facebook is argue with everyone all the time about everything.

Nicole, I'm totally going to miss all of your pictures of cats and raccoons and all that crap.



#29 Wende

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 02:02 PM

I have to admit.  It pisses me off most of the time.  And I start my day by checking it.  But it pisses me off because of the wah wah wah wah'ing.  I guess I don't have very happy friends to be jealous about.  :lol:

 

i did delete 120 friends this month.  That felt good.  I feel like FB is amazing for mass awareness.  It can be a great thing, keeping us all connected and updated.  As long as everyone is open to listen and learn.

 

But I totally hear you  Nicole. 

I feel like an asshole because a half hour will go by and my toddler is sitting here at my feet quietly playing with her feet.  :(  Such a bad mommy!



#30 namaste

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 02:49 PM

I hear ya Nikki.  Good call.  FB can be a vehicle for good but if it's not then best to see that and drop it.  I thought it would be good to be in 'groups' that focus on certain illnesses  that I have, support group style.  But it does the opposite.  As another-boardie said all the 'wah wah wah"  makes me feel sicker and sorrier for myself, things I try hard NOT to focus on.  I'm trying to focus on health and wellness and they just seem to wallow in their illness.  As for friends and family, I never engage in emotional shit on FB.  Just hi how are you.  But I agree with less fb is the way to go.  I don't think it's it's healthy, it wastes time, and ultimately takes you out of being in the moment.   I don't watch TV news either, same reasons.  Peace. 



#31 Java Time

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 02:56 PM

Jesus loves you


He loves you too!




another thing with fb...they keep sending me emails, despite not opting for notification, of the same messages, invites, friend req, etc even after I've already read, opened each one...fuckers!

#32 Ravn

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 03:23 PM

We have a fireplace.  We've never used it.  I'm terrified of it.  

 

My college boyfriend lost his Dad and 6 year old brother in a house fire that started because of the fire place.



#33 TheDHJ

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:34 PM

You can't really let things you read affect you. I'm looking at you guys like...seriously? Reading other people's bitching gets you down? Suck it up Francis! I just laugh at the incessant whining and restrain from pointing it out.

#34 JBetty

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:55 PM

Everybody is different, Josh.

Nikki is working through this in her own way, so don't give her shit.

 

Yay for you, Nikki!  :heart:



#35 china cat

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:56 PM

everyone has different tolerance levels, Josh

 

I have less a problem with bookface than I do with TV, hence why cable is gone and bookface is still on. It's the opposite for Nik.

 

 

The feelings of envy might reveal something missing, some discontent with current conditions, Nik?

 

Must say in, my own life, fb doesn't encourage me to desire more things, I do that just walking around my place and muttering.. "it would be awesome to have a bigger kitchen... ooh an espresso machine.." but things shift for me when I practice gratitude. I'm immensely blessed - I mean, it's kinda ridiculous how blessed I am. Gratitude for what one does have goes a long way in alleviating desire for what others' have. Spreading Gratitude (or a gratitude journal) could cure what ails you :)



#36 china cat

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:56 PM

Everybody is different, Josh.

Nikki is working through this in her own way, so don't give her shit.

 

Yay for you, Nikki!   :heart:

 

morphing :lol:



#37 china cat

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:58 PM

By the way...I just wanted to say that I think you are already a really good person Nikki. If there's some behaviors you want to change, I get that, believe me, I get that, but just know you are a good person. :heart: :smile:

 

yep. always loved Nik.. so easy to get along with, lots of fun, down to earth person... <3



#38 china cat

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 04:59 PM

and I want a fireplace too :lol:

 

(thank you universe that I have shelter and heat... repeats 3 times)



#39 TheDHJ

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 05:00 PM

Whoa hey now. I'm not downplaying Nicole's decision, and I'd never make fun of her for it. Sorry if it came out that way.

I guess I just don't comprehend how folks can see anything other than theater when people are bitching and moaning.

Either that or I'm a heartless bastard. :lol:

Kiss my ass Jenn. :lol:

#40 china cat

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 05:01 PM


I guess I just don't comprehend how folks can see anything other than theater when people are bitching and moaning.

 

maybe that's a performance people/Nik prefers to avoid is all.

 

words seems to have an energy to them... we can easily absorb what we're surrounded by,



#41 TheDHJ

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 05:04 PM

Or not.

#42 JBetty

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 05:08 PM

Whoa hey now. I'm not downplaying Nicole's decision, and I'd never make fun of her for it. Sorry if it came out that way.

I guess I just don't comprehend how folks can see anything other than theater when people are bitching and moaning.

Either that or I'm a heartless bastard. :lol:

Kiss my ass Jenn. :lol:

 

 

Well, it did come out that way, Josh.

 

Not everyone sees the world through your eyes, heartless bastard.

 

:kiss:  :moon:   Macy's window



#43 TheDHJ

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 05:31 PM

Nicole knows how I feel about her. I'd never intentionally put her down.

#44 gregoir

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 06:06 PM

  Do you have a fireplace?  lol. 

 

I have my Honda, a laptop and some clothes.  That's all my possessions in the world. :lol:



#45 Feesh

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 07:07 PM

For me FBook has been a great boon as I am able to inform poeple of my bands' performances very easily.
I can see how easy it is to get sucked in and waste a crapload of time, too.

I also try to avoid posting personal or sensitive issues on it (although the occaisional amusing photo/anecdote about my cat is always good for a diversion).



#46 Karen

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 08:29 PM

You are not alone in this!  I have heard this expressed by so many people and have also read it in countless articles.   You are right to stress the work 'seem' because that is exactly what it is!   Things aren't always what they seem, right?   There are plenty of folks that tell their fabulous. exaggerated and sometimes untrue stories in FB ...there are a few folks do it here on the boards too! :lol:

 

It has slowly eaten me alive watching what others 'seem' to have, and how happy most people seem.  

 

I've missed you honey.    Glad you popped in here!   XO



#47 BHB

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 08:40 PM

I have my Honda

 

 

year / model ?



#48 Wende

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 09:29 PM

for  me it's the "Wah, my back hurts"  "Wah, I've got the sniffles"  "Wah, I can't find the right shoes to wear" "Wah, my boyfriend stole and cheated from me for the 75th time"  I have a deep hatred for American society these days.  :lol:



#49 Wende

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 09:29 PM

but I like kitties.



#50 TheDHJ

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 09:48 PM

for me it's the "Wah, my back hurts" "Wah, I've got the sniffles" "Wah, I can't find the right shoes to wear" "Wah, my boyfriend stole and cheated from me for the 75th time" I have a deep hatred for American society these days. :lol:

This worldview is why I like you.