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Philly area 'Sports Camp' will help you repress your gay tendencies


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#1 concert andy

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 03:51 PM

If you are experiencing homosexual tendencies, it's probably just because you can't do sportz good, right?
 
That's part of the idea behind the upcoming "Sports Camp" at Wynnewood's St. Charles Borromeo Seminary. For the 14th straight year (see what I did there?), an apostulate group of the Catholic Church called Courage will hold the creatively-named retreat for men who need to learn more about sports. You know, so they won't act on their homosexuality any more.
 
Usually held in the Spring, Sports Camp is an exhilarating, experiential weekend for men desiring to learn how to play team sports with encouragement, coaching, and an abundance of Christian fellowship. The Lions, Dolphins, Colts, and Rams face each other in softball, football, basketball, and soccer in the annual epic battle for the coveted Harvey Cup. Sports Camp men physically compete on the field while enriching their souls through a daily regimen of prayer, confessions, mass, and the Liturgy of the Hours. [Courage]
 
Though that description doesn't specifically address homosexuality, Courage lists its five goals, including, "To live chaste lives in accordance with the Roman Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality." Additionally, the testimonials include multiple references to same-sex attraction or "SSA."
 
Ahead of last year's retreat, our Kathy Boccella wrote about some of the beliefs/research/totally reasonable notions that help to motivate the folks running Sports Camp.
 
Therapist Paul Kleponis of the Institute for Marital Healing in West Conshohocken has said at Courage conferences that he believes homosexuality was rooted in childhood rejection and trauma and that through therapy people could develop an attraction for the opposite sex. He declined to comment for this story.
 
Some of that rejection, at least for men, can be linked to failure at sports, the group maintains. Robert Fitzgibbons, a therapist who runs the Marital Institute and has written extensively about what he calls healing homosexual attraction, said in an article on the Catholic Education Resource Center that boys who are rejected because they can’t play sports “begin to identify with the female instead of the male.” 
 
If this sounds like a Saturday Night Live sketch, that's because it is. Ben Affleck played a sexually repressed counselor at a "Pray the Gay Away" camp just a few days ago. "Hetero is better, yo."
 
The camp starts this Thursday and runs through the holiday weekend. It's 2013 and Minnesota has legalized same-sex marriage while the some Main Line folks are really still trying to "cure" gays with sports. Ugh. 
 


#2 In A Silent Way

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 03:53 PM

I'm not sure how being in a locker room and shower with naked men is supposed to help.

 

I sucked at sports, but that never stopped me from chasing skirts. (It just prevented me from getting any.)



#3 concert andy

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 03:56 PM

I'm not sure how being in a locker room and shower with naked men is supposed to help.

 

I sucked at sports, but that never stopped me from chasing skirts. (It just prevented me from getting any.)

 

 

Exactly!



#4 Tim the Beek

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 04:00 PM

I'm not sure how being in a locker room and shower with naked men is supposed to help.


The same way being cloistered 22 hours a day with nothing but men helps gay priests stay celibate.

Duh.



#5 Joker

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 04:06 PM

I'm not sure how being in a locker room and shower with naked men is supposed to help.

It all depends on the men..hell if I see myself naked in the mirror I can't even masterbate for at least a week



#6 In A Silent Way

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 04:43 PM

It all depends on the men..hell if I see myself naked in the mirror I can't even masterbate for at least a week

 

That will at least give you time to learn to spell it.



#7 In A Silent Way

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 04:44 PM

What they really need is boot camp for beta males.



#8 concert andy

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 04:59 PM

What they really need is boot camp for beta males.

 

But only one Alpha male would merge.  :lol:



#9 Depends

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 05:00 PM

Ever since hoagie labeled me a female, I've been havin lesbian feelings....



#10 concert andy

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Posted 22 May 2013 - 05:08 PM

Ever since hoagie labeled me a female, I've been havin lesbian feelings....

 

Wait you are not... hehehe

:afro:

 

 

 

:lol: