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Funny Things A Teacher Told You


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#1 Royal

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Posted 17 March 2013 - 06:50 PM

Mr. Knox middle school science teacher to students who were making animal noises:  "You cannot make animal noises.  You can make them through kindergarten, then you can't make them again till college."  :funny:



#2 TheDHJ

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Posted 17 March 2013 - 06:54 PM

Oedipus was a motherfucker and a father killer. -Mr. Breslin 9th grade.

#3 Karen

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Posted 17 March 2013 - 09:25 PM

You are as odd as Dick's hat. 

                   ~Sister Mary Herbert, St Camillus, Grade 5



#4 Lostsailr

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Posted 17 March 2013 - 09:33 PM

Don't worry _________ (insert last name here), the world needs ditch diggers too.

 

 while miming shoveling over his shoulder... "Pile it on the other corner!"  (when he knew we were trying to translate the Latin on the spot)

 

Mr. Colton - Albany Academy  Latin teacher



#5 Occifer Boland

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:17 AM

"Make sure to tell the next girl you meet that you are wearing Burger King underwear....... When she asks why you have Burger King underwear... Reply to her that they are home of the Whopper"

Mr. Hill.. Ocean township high school German teacher

#6 Julius

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:58 AM

French teacher, teaching us about French culture: "When making foie gras it's much better to use geese instead of ducks because when the ducks explode it smells really terrible and gets all over everything."



#7 manzanita stark

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 07:29 AM

"You're like Timothy Leary. If they ever do brain surgery on you all they will find is a giant cinder".

                                                                                                                

John "Fox" Souders-  HS Guidance Counselor



#8 August West

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 10:18 AM

If it is nice do it twice.



#9 Sensei Miller

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 08:07 PM

When lab instrctor asked how my project was going, I said "We're jammin!"

His response: "Gerbil jammin?!?! We're gonna need more glassware!"

The same professor would frequently say "We got cake and we got cock, and we're almost outta cake!" when we asked him for more chemicals or glassware.

#10 jme

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 08:14 PM

"You looking for Sympathy, Murph?  Get out of the fucking pool, and go into my office. There's a dictionary on my desk. You'll find it somewhere between Shit & Syphilis"

 

Coach Dawes - North Rockland HS Swim Coach



#11 JBetty

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 08:18 PM

"You looking for Sympathy, Murph?  Get out of the fucking pool, and go into my office. There's a dictionary on my desk. You'll find it somewhere between Shit & Syphilis"

 

Coach Dawes - North Rockland HS Swim Coach

 

 

What was your stroke? 



#12 jme

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 09:12 PM

What was your stroke? 

 

free.  anything further than a 50 and I was garbage.   

 

the above conversation occurred after 8 of 10 "hypoxic"  25s, when I proceeded to lose cookies all over the deck.  I walked back to the block instead of jogging, and he added on 3 more to the 10. BASTARD. :lol: 



#13 TheDHJ

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 09:31 PM

Stroke. :rolling:

#14 bugwhipper

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 10:26 PM

Mr. Bob Nelson, 7th grade English Teacher

"You know, if they open with Bertha it's going to be a great show!"

 

 

Dr Bernie Possidente, Biology Proffesor

"I thought I had a case of crabs once.  Turns out I only had 23."

 

8-)



#15 PieDoh

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 10:51 PM

coach to jr.high gym class when discovering some of the boys weren't wearing their jockstraps..
"in case you're wondering, you wear them under your gym shorts, not on your heads" ( puts jock on head cup over nose)

#16 Lostsailr

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 12:01 AM

Mr. Price  H.S. English...

"Ask your parents what time it is when the dew is on the pumpkin..."

 

 

Mr. Werline  psycho S.S. ---  "assume the position"  as he grabbed his fraternity paddle