"Did He Lie to Me or Not?
DH and I are having a disagreement about this. I won't tell him what all your answers are, but I want to know what you think.
My parents gave my kids, DH and I all a big bag of Maynard Swedish Berries or Sour Patch Kids. At the time, I decided that since I was watching my weight I would give DH my bag. Which he was happy to receive. While giving it to him I told him that if I wanted some candies he'd have to give them to me. He said "of course".
He's been very greedy when I ask him for candies. He mentioned the other day when I asked for some if there wasn't something else I wanted instead. I reminded him that he was acting like his mother (who hid candy for only herself in the cupboard), so he shared a handful with me.
Today I mentioned the candy again and asked him if I could have the rest of my candy. His response was, "The bag is gone." While getting ready for bed, I noticed his bag of Sour Patch Kids on the bed. I opened it and noticed MY Swedish Berries in HIS bag mixed with his candy. When I told him that I knew he had lied about my candy being gone, he told me that he hadn't...that he said the "bag" was gone. I told him he is just like his mom and that he lied to me. (No more needed to be said about his mom because he and his siblings all know how greedy of a mother she was.)
So...did he lie or not? Twisting the truth (i.e., the bag is gone) is still a lie.
Am I alone in this? (Now I know why my 8 year old daughter has an extremely hard time sharing. I think it's "
Attn: JBetty Did He Lie to Me or Not?
Started by
TEO
, Dec 28 2012 08:13 PM
20 replies to this topic
#3
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- VibeGuide
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- 15,787 posts
VibeGuide
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:30 PM
No, he I haven't caught him deceiving or lying to me about other things.
"Palooka - I'm not concerned about him cheating on me. I trust him and he trust me in this regards. He's given me no reason to doubt him in regards to that. But when/if he does...
I think the main issue is his past. Like I said, when he was a child his mother would literally buy candy for only herself and hide and lock it in a cupboard up high so the kids couldn't get at it. I heard a story where one of the kids got into the candy and got into big trouble from her. (She definately has issues.) This could be partly the reason he's greedy (and feels like he needs to deceive me) in regards to candy. I'm no psychologist, but sadly something got messed up in that little boy's mind.
He hasn't apologized for deceiving me about the candy, and I am not expecting him to. He's twisted the truth into believing he didn't lie.
Whatever. I told him very calmly last night that I forgave him. I asked him if the tables were turned about the candy how would he feel if it was me saying that to him. Of course, he didn't have an answer."
"Palooka - I'm not concerned about him cheating on me. I trust him and he trust me in this regards. He's given me no reason to doubt him in regards to that. But when/if he does...
I think the main issue is his past. Like I said, when he was a child his mother would literally buy candy for only herself and hide and lock it in a cupboard up high so the kids couldn't get at it. I heard a story where one of the kids got into the candy and got into big trouble from her. (She definately has issues.) This could be partly the reason he's greedy (and feels like he needs to deceive me) in regards to candy. I'm no psychologist, but sadly something got messed up in that little boy's mind.
He hasn't apologized for deceiving me about the candy, and I am not expecting him to. He's twisted the truth into believing he didn't lie.
Whatever. I told him very calmly last night that I forgave him. I asked him if the tables were turned about the candy how would he feel if it was me saying that to him. Of course, he didn't have an answer."
#4
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- VibeTribe
- 12,783 posts
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:34 PM
"He's twisted the truth into believing he didn't lie."
Chronic liars are very good at this.
They honestly believe that if they word a sentence just so and take it literally, that means it's not a lie.
Used to drive me CRAZY, and not in a good way.
Chronic liars are very good at this.
They honestly believe that if they word a sentence just so and take it literally, that means it's not a lie.
Used to drive me CRAZY, and not in a good way.
#8
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- VibeTribe
- 12,783 posts
Posted 28 December 2012 - 08:50 PM
TtB tries to keep in mind that people who do such things are full of fear, and somehow badly wounded. Doesn't mean he has to have 'em close to his life though.
Very true - people don't lie or withhold the truth unless they're afraid of something.
#12
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- VibeTribe
- 8,284 posts
- LocationWhisky a Go Go
Posted 29 December 2012 - 01:33 AM
I don't know if this is all just hypothetical or what, but to me it sounds like a food (candy) addiction.
Or, maybe the woman is so obese that he didn't want to contribute to her obesity.
Or, maybe he's just a greedy slob who hoards candy -- wait, that was the first thing I said, so I digress.
Or, maybe the woman is so obese that he didn't want to contribute to her obesity.
Or, maybe he's just a greedy slob who hoards candy -- wait, that was the first thing I said, so I digress.
#16
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- VibeTribe
- 1,615 posts
Posted 29 December 2012 - 03:41 PM
My Mom hid candy too... but we had 4 kids in the house that would have eaten it all on her so I understand why she did it...
My kid doesnt like chocolate, it gives her a head ache...not sure if I would hide it from her if she did..... I would like to make sure I have some around when I wanted it.
BUT yes I think he lied.
P.S. All diets off for the holidays!( and yes I did need to eat that 2nd piece of cake last night!)
My kid doesnt like chocolate, it gives her a head ache...not sure if I would hide it from her if she did..... I would like to make sure I have some around when I wanted it.
BUT yes I think he lied.
P.S. All diets off for the holidays!( and yes I did need to eat that 2nd piece of cake last night!)
