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IF someone is "mentally ill"


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#1 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:50 PM

IF someone is mentally unwell to the point they feel they cannot have, hold, or work at a job....

Would this indicate perhaps they should not be responsible for a childs well being?

just wondering :angel:

#2 u.s.blues

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:01 PM

imo, yes...not full time or without help

#3 Gypsy Bob

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

First let me say I have no knowledge of my own. If I did I might forget to remember. Now that we're clear the two postulates may have nothing to do with other.

#4 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:38 PM

I"ll be blunt.

My ex, whom truly is a good friend and all that, has proclaimed that she is incapable of holding a job, and has serious mental defect.

My viewpoint may be, if you are THAT FUCKED UP, perhaps you are not the most suitable person for the task of being in charge of my 13 year old daughter.

Not looking to change anything... just sick of her bitching to me about $$$ when she is a pro at milkin it.

/end rant



simply put, get a fucking job, loser.

#5 gregoir

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:48 PM

I agree. If you can not hold down a job due to mental health issues you should not be caring for a child. If you can't take care of yourself how can you care for someone else?

#6 Mind Left Body

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

I agree. If you can not hold down a job due to mental health issues you should not be caring for a child. If you can't take care of yourself how can you care for someone else?


This pretty much sums it up.

#7 In A Silent Way

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:28 PM

I agree. If you can not hold down a job due to mental health issues you should not be caring for a child. If you can't take care of yourself how can you care for someone else?


Ding!

#8 TEO

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:32 PM

Perhaps she would be good at being a house wife?

#9 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:48 PM

yeah.... perhaps :rolling:

besides, it's really unfair. NO WAY IN HELL she crazier den ME!!!

:crazy:

#10 Royal

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:53 PM

I guess I'm lucky Gregoir never got me pregnant. :funny1:

#11 JBetty

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:56 PM

I guess I'm lucky Gregoir never got me pregnant. :funny1:



You would have made a great housewife!

#12 Jambear

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:12 PM

She must be nutz if you left her and she's a pro at milk'n it. :wink:

#13 Ginger Snap

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:16 PM

I guess I'm lucky Gregoir never got me pregnant. :funny1:

I guess I'm lucky Gregoir never got me pregnant. :funny1:


:lol:

Guess no one here ever saw "I Am Sam".

I don't think mental illness that obstructs regular or "normal" functioning necessarily precludes someone from being a good parent, but as with almost everything it's all situational and depends on the person. I have a friend that is having such horrible panic attacks that even going grocery shopping is debilitating, never mind holding a job. Should her children be taken from her? My opinion is it would be fucking criminal. Sure- this family has more challenges than many, -I don't see how splitting up the family helps the kids.

But I don't think that's the REAL question that chain has anyhow- because I think the REAL question has more to do with the fact that you think she doesn't have mental illness at all, and it's pissing you off- as it should.

#14 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

Sam had a fuckin job!!!!!!!



and trust me, she's ILL. But not so much she shouldnt be able to work.

if you can sit at a bar, you best be ready to foot the bill. or something.


what do I know. I'm an insane, overprotective father who never rec'd more than a couple hundred bucks in all the years I raised my kids SOLO. no mom, no sisters. Me. and two young ladies.

don't ge me wrong, I'm not mad bro. just releasin ze steam :lol:

#15 Ginger Snap

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

:blush: Shit, that's right. :lol:

#16 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

She must be nutz if you left her and she's a pro at milk'n it. :wink:


I'll give her that. :devil:

#17 Jersey Thug

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

I think the REAL question has more to do with the fact that you think she doesn't have mental illness at all, and it's pissing you off- as it should.


agreed.

has she decided this on her own, or has a physician diagnosed her with a condition that is resistant to treatment?

#18 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

:blush: Shit, that's right. :lol:


Lord I miss you!! :rollin:

#19 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:25 PM

agreed.

has she decided this on her own, or has a physician diagnosed her with a condition that is resistant to treatment?


oh she's "diagnosed" :rofl:

guaranfuckintee I could be too, if I wanted to be... anyway. no matter.

*none of this is to imply she's not a good person, or that she's an unfit mother... just a "u can't have it both ways" and I have been carrying the $$$ load since day one. The story is more complex as some may know.

#20 Jersey Thug

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:38 PM

if she's faking mental illness to duck responsibility...i'd say that when seen from a distance, she does fall short of being a good role model for a young girl. that sucks for you, and sucks even more for your daughters who will learn more about their own roles as women from her than from any other person.

i'm sure you've tried everything you can think of to lessen the impact her illness/issues/whatever has had on your girls. i believe you had them both with you full-time at one point. maybe, given these new developments, it's time to consider that option again. or maybe not...only you know what's best for your family.

but it's not easy growing up in a house with an unstable parent.

#21 TEO

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:54 PM

who will learn more about their own roles as women from her than from any other person.


Not so certain about that, although it can go a long way for quite some time if there is no outside or balancing influence.

#22 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:01 PM

I know that even though my 13 year old ~knows~ the score.... (I raised her from 6 to 11, exclusive of the time her mom and I were still together) she's happy where she is, and has her crew of friends, and while my ex is a fruit cake and certain traits that I notice in my girls make me shudder... I'm not looking to rock the boat any more than it has...

just want the bitch* to get a job.

in the most loving way, she's my ex bitch.... anyone else calls her a bitch and I cut them.

#23 Ginger Snap

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:03 PM

:lol: God miss you.

You shudder -mine makes me want to slap the stupid out of my boy. :lol:

#24 JBetty

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:05 PM



in the most loving way, she's my ex bitch.... anyone else calls her a bitch and I cut them.




:lol: Funy how that works when your ex is the other parent of your children.

#25 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:09 PM

we got mad history yo.... I've put up with... A LOT. But she did give me the two most precious things in my world...and for that she's got my eternal protection.

#26 Ginger Snap

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:13 PM

Meanwhile I'm looking for someone to hang my ex off the Tobin by his ankles. Oh I don't want him dropped- he can do that himself, I just want a little more understanding.

#27 unbroken_chain

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:22 PM

Had I not met Tim, and slept with him, I'd hook you up with a few of my friends from Southie or Chelsea... but I could never do that to my wittle timmywimmy

#28 JBetty

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:30 PM

we got mad history yo.... I've put up with... A LOT. But she did give me the two most precious things in my world...and for that she's got my eternal protection.




Exactly.
Only I can call him an asshole, which he is.

#29 In A Silent Way

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:37 PM

I'm mentally ill and incapable of holding a job too, but that hasn't stopped me from showing up every day.

#30 sarah b.

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM

You're my hero today, IASW. I'm not even kidding.

#31 Misha

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Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:26 PM

Someone near and dear to me is seriously bi-polar and gets disability each month. He's fucked up in many ways but is actually a great Dad to his kids.

#32 nikkiblue

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 12:58 PM

UC, how come your daughters aren't living with you anymore?

#33 unbroken_chain

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 02:04 PM

I'm nutz, that's why.

#34 Royal

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:04 PM

If we were in Europe this conversation would be much different. Europeans are not defined, valued and portayed by their employment status. In fact in much of Europe it is considered rude if you're at a party to ask somebody you're meeting what s/he does for a living.

#35 unbroken_chain

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:07 PM

for one, it might be in a different language.

#36 Tim the Beek

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:09 PM

for one, it might be in a different language.


Like whatever it is they speak in Great Britain?

#37 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:10 PM

If we were in Europe this conversation would be much different. Europeans are not defined, valued and portayed by their employment status. In fact in much of Europe it is considered rude if you're at a party to ask somebody you're meeting what s/he does for a living.


That may be true if we were in Europe. But we're not.

#38 Royal

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:11 PM

for one, it might be in a different language.


true :funny1:

I made a major mistake at volunteering. I asked another volunteer take a Spanish language call. She has a spanish sounding name and looks like she might be Latina. She said "I only speak English, Italian and Portugese" doh! She was cool with it though.

#39 MeOmYo

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:12 PM

Like whatever it is they speak in Great Britain?


Ask someone from GB if their country is part of Europe. :lol:

#40 Tim the Beek

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:16 PM

Ask someone from GB if their country is part of Europe. :lol:


Not their call. We won. :mrgreen:

#41 Java Time

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:19 PM

If we were in Europe this conversation would be much different. Europeans are not defined, valued and portayed by their employment status. In fact in much of Europe it is considered rude if you're at a party to ask somebody you're meeting what s/he does for a living.


that may be because Europe has something like a 40% unemployment rate :eek1: :funny1:

#42 Royal

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:20 PM

That may be true if we were in Europe. But we're not.


I could be in Europe, you dont know me, you've never met me. I guess a vibeguide you could probably tell where I am though.

#43 unbroken_chain

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:21 PM

Like whatever it is they speak in Great Britain?


hey

#44 Java Time

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:21 PM

Like whatever it is they speak in Great Britain?


I dunno...but it certainly isn't English whatever it is :hoff:

#45 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:24 PM

Like whatever it is they speak in Great Britain?


http://theoatmeal.co...rences4/accents

#46 unbroken_chain

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:25 PM

ok ok ok.

fuck it, she can stay at home and milk it... .fine. :rolleyes:

#47 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:30 PM

I could be in Europe, you dont know me, you've never met me. I guess a vibeguide you could probably tell where I am though.



Huh? :huh:

#48 Tim the Beek

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

fuck it, she can stay at home and milk it... .fine. :rolleyes:


Isn't this what started the whole kid problem in the first place? :mrgreen:

#49 TEO

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

:lol:

#50 unbroken_chain

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Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:33 PM

Isn't this what started the whole kid problem in the first place? :mrgreen:


:titiping:

I believe that's what I said. :bang: