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what a difference a day makes

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#1 Jersey Thug

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:45 PM

in a month full of roller coaster emotions, ups downs and all-arounds, yesterday just about took the prize for craziest day, post-Sandy, in our family.

Jason left early yesterday morning to meet his parents and sister. together, they went over to Lavallette, where Jason grew up and where his parents' home still stands, though unoccupied and unable to be occupied for the time being. together, they finished tearing out rugs and sheet rock, cabinets and furniture and everything else that was on the first floor of their home. they traced cracks in the foundation and sewer lines and marked high water lines and mold with spray paint to make it easier for the assessors to determine whether or not the house is to be condemned, whenever that inspection takes place.

i wasn't with him because the whole island is still under martial law, and only one vehicle/4 people are allowed per property on the days when they allow residents to visit their properties.

so i was home when the news started coming in about a horrible accident involving a close friend and colleague of ours. Bob was the owner of the business where Jason paints characters for sale, and where i worked part time. he was also a close friend and the person most responsible for some major changes we've made these last 6 months or so.

Bob's health has been declining recently, and last month he had a stroke. we tried to convince him to let us run his business for a little while, to rest up and get back to healthy before resuming work, but he wouldn't listen, and was back in the store less than a week later, just in time for Oktoberfest. he did however accept our offer to help him with the heavy lifting, and we spent a lot of time there recently, especially in the days leading up to Sandy when 75% of his inventory had to be put into storage.

he was the grumpy Italian grandfather Jason's been missing for a long time now, and became family to us in a very short time frame. we discussed buying his business so he and Nancy could move north like she'd been bugging him to do for years. then Sandy came, and everything was set aside for a while.

we saw at least once or twice a week since the storm, and he seemed to be doing both better and worse at the same time, each time we saw him. his speech was improving but he seemed tired and worn out. but he dressed like a zombie to walk with us in the Zombie Walk last weekend, and we shared a lot of laughs.

we saw him again on Sunday, just a few days ago, and he mentioned needing to go to Home Depot for some supplies. i offered to make the trip for him but he shooed me away and told me he already'd had a mother and didn't need another one. he gave me his cheek to kiss when we were leaving, a new habit that i liked a lot. and he told us to "get a dog for christ's sake" because he could tell how much we were missing Lucy, the puggle who stayed with us a for a couple of weeks after Sandy when our neighbors were rebuilding.

on Monday night, Bob drove his car to Home Depot and got the things he needed. but afterward, something happened to him, and rather than getting back into his car and driving home, he wandered onto the highway and started walking. there, he was struck by a car and killed instantly. we can only assume that he'd suffered another stroke or something else that affected his cognitive ability.

i got word yesterday morning first thing, but had to wait all day for Jason to come home to tell him the sad news. and he's taking this particularly hard, because Bob was so much more than just a friend to him...he was a mentor and had become family. there was an instantaneous bond there, everyone saw it and appreciated it. and now my husband, who is going through so much already, is dealing with the loss of one of his closest friends.

late last night, a soft knock on the door announced the arrival of Lucy the puggle back into our lives. her owners had taken a couple of weeks to make sure of their decision, but in the end they decided she belonged with us. last night we fell asleep to the sound of Lucy snoring away, and awoke to puggle kisses and dog breath.

we'll be mourning the loss of our friend for a long while now, and we have no idea what will come of Jason's family home, and probably won't for a while yet. but we're happy to have Lucy in our lives, this time for good, and we're happy to help our family and friends bounce back from Sandy as best we can.

so that was quite a day. i just needed to let that out. thanks for reading :) love you all.

#2 JBetty

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:53 PM

Wow, so sorry - you just keep getting slammed. :heart:
Hope this all winds down for you soon.

#3 Tim the Beek

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:54 PM

My eyes. They're kind of damp.

I love you guys...

#4 TEO



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Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:56 PM


The Universe really provides.

Love, Light & Inner Peace :heart: :heart:

#5 deadheadskier

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:01 PM


no words

wish we were close so we could hug you both

#6 Jwheelz

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:04 PM

<3 <3 <3

#7 Lemireacle

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:11 PM

Thanks for sharing, Jennie. I'm so sorry you two are going through all of this. I remember Jason telling us about Bob at the outdoor bar on the boardwalk, when we were down in AC. You could see and hear the admiration Jason had for him when he spoke about him.

So sorry for your loss!! Please reach out if I can do anything!! :heart:

#8 Terrapin Station

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:20 PM

Life is just to short sometimes.

Stay strong.


#9 Java Time

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:25 PM

sorry for you and Jay's (Jason's) loss of a friend like that...I feel like crying :heart:

I am happy that you got Lucy back!!!

#10 MeOmYo

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:32 PM


#11 sarah b.

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 09:33 PM

gigantic hugs. <3

#12 insolent cur

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:07 PM


#13 tyedyedee


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Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:25 PM

yay for puppy kisses! :bliss::heart:

edited to add: i am sad for your loss but so happy that lucy is making you smile again :smile:
(i was afraid i seemed callous not acknowledging your loss :undecided: )

#14 PieDoh

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:32 PM

so sad...


#15 china cat

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:08 AM

Sorry about the situation with Jason;s parents. Thank god they have you--I hope ti brings the family closer.

Sorry to read of your loss (((hugs)))

Puggle breath :)

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#16 nancykind



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Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:44 AM

much love, always. you guys are the best. :) :heart:

#17 In A Silent Way

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:05 AM


#18 Mutant

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 05:30 AM

Condolences on the passing of Bob. :heart:

Congratulations on the addition of Lucy to your lives.

#19 Wende

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 05:44 AM

unbelievable what a day can do.

I'm soo sorry sweet sister. I love you~

#20 Karen

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:04 AM

I am so sorry for all that you are going through...much love.

My sister sent me an email two days after the storm passed and said to me "what a difference a day makes" Wow.

Love you :heart:

#21 scarfire

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:31 PM

sorry about the loss of your friend, thug. :heart: i hope jason's family home in lavallett can be saved. i know from our brief conversation how you both feel about that place.

happy to hear that lucy has found such a great home. :bigsmile:

#22 gregoir

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Love you both :heart:

#23 foo

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Posted 22 November 2012 - 05:10 PM


#24 Jersey Thug

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Posted 23 November 2012 - 11:33 PM

thanks, friends :heart: it has been one hell of a week but we're loving having Lucy around. she is the best :)

Jason and Bob at the Zombie Walk a couple of weeks ago :heart:

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Lucy at the Zombie Walk:

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Puggle cuddle puddle!

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#25 Mr_Pat



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Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:10 AM


#26 SunSyl

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:27 PM


#27 little frog

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Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:35 PM

i'm so sorry about your friend, i'm sure he was blessed to have both of you in his life. Everyday we wake up, the world is a different place. Sometimes in small ways and sometimes in big ways. It's beautiful that the universe brought you Lucy just when you needed her. One day at a time, that is how we get through ... <3 love you guys.