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People make such a big deal out of cooking a turkey!


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#1 Julius

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:55 AM

Seriously, on the list of difficult things to cook, even the most complex turkey recipe isn't on it.

And even you just stick it in the oven at the right temperature, baste it often, don't overcook it, and do the old simple slap some foil over it for a while, it always comes out just great.

Now you want to talk about an art form, let's talk about the gravy!

#2 Julius

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:58 AM

My Mom and Dad's 3rd date: Dad asks Mom over to his tiny NYC apt for dinner.

When Mom arrives, he opens the freezer, pulls out a frozen turkey, hands it to her to cook and says "I'll open the wine."

Guess what, they ended up going out. :lol:

#3 In A Silent Way

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:05 AM

My family has banned me from making the gravy.

#4 moed_over

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:11 AM

The gravy is definitely the hard part, but you can still screw up the turkey...Dry as a desert and glass of water per bite'd :lol:

#5 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:22 AM

Now you want to talk about an art form, let's talk about the gravy!


My mom is the gravy whisperer. :lol: I've been watching her & helping her do it for years and I'll get yet another lesson from her on Thursday, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make it as well as she does. Mine's pretty good, but she's really got the touch.

#6 Ravn

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:23 AM

The gravy is definitely the hard part, but you can still screw up the turkey...Dry as a desert and glass of water per bite'd :lol:


Griswold'd

#7 In A Silent Way

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:25 AM

Griswold'd


crunch crunch crunch

#8 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:26 AM

The gravy is definitely the hard part, but you can still screw up the turkey...Dry as a desert and glass of water per bite'd :lol:


Or you can do what I did the first time I cooked a turkey: accidentally set the oven on "broil" and not realize it for about the first 2 hours. The top was nice & brown. The rest... not so much. :lol:

Quick damage control, dinner ended up being much later than planned, but the turkey came out fine.

#9 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:32 AM

My Mom and Dad's 3rd date: Dad asks Mom over to his tiny NYC apt for dinner.

When Mom arrives, he opens the freezer, pulls out a frozen turkey, hands it to her to cook and says "I'll open the wine."

Guess what, they ended up going out. :lol:


:rolling:

Are you kidding me? Gravy is EASY!!!!!!! I've been given this task a bunch of times at various family/friend functions. (((((((grandma that knew how to cook and made me help)))))))

Best Turkey malfunction ever... My doggie from childhood was a German Shepherd named Steve. The whole famdamnily was there (about 20+ when we all spoke to eachother) and we heard a crash come form the kitchen. Mom, Dad, and I rushed into the kitchen and Steve had the bird on the floor gnawing a leg off. Mom took Steve into the master bedroom, Dad hosed the bird down with the kitchen sprayer, placed the taters with artistic skill (I'm convinced to this day that his talent surpassed Da Vinci's) to "hide the evidence", and looked at me and said "you tell and they'll never find you", I was eight. :rolling: He carved that bird to perfection and promptly took the leg. Best.Thanksgiving.Memory.Evah.!!!!!!!

#10 insolent cur

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:35 AM

gravy is easy once you know a few secrets. turkey is easier.

and kris... :lol:

#11 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:35 AM

My mom is the gravy whisperer. :lol: I've been watching her & helping her do it for years and I'll get yet another lesson from her on Thursday, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make it as well as she does. Mine's pretty good, but she's really got the touch.


And guess where she learned. Grandma is the true gravy ninja. :lol:

Or you can do what I did the first time I cooked a turkey: accidentally set the oven on "broil" and not realize it for about the first 2 hours. The top was nice & brown. The rest... not so much. :lol:

Quick damage control, dinner ended up being much later than planned, but the turkey came out fine.


Was that last year or two years ago? I remember the posts. :rolling:

#12 Julius

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:40 AM

Kris, why do your dogs always have human names? :lol:

#13 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:45 AM

And guess where she learned. Grandma is the true gravy ninja. :lol:


Oh... without a doubt. :ninja:

Was that last year or two years ago? I remember the posts. :rolling:


It was a while ago, probably Christmas of 1997 or 1998 but I know I've told stories from that day around here from time to time. Chris and I were dating, I was sharing a house with 2 roommates who were both going to their families for the holidays so Chris and I decided it would be fun to host Christmas for both of our families. Neither of us had ever done more than assist with cooking a holiday meal. It was also the first time our families were meeting. Against all logical and rational thought, we forged ahead. :lol:

Needless to say, hilarity ensued while we were cooking, including panicked phone calls to my poor mother at close to midnight. I'm still stunned at how well that meal turned out considering we were both in way over our heads.

Everyone got along great, we had a lot of laughs and dinner turned out really well. Probably one of my fondest holiday memories.

#14 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:47 AM

Kris, why do your dogs always have human names? :lol:


Dad started it prior to my birth, I think he was hoping for a boy. :lol: My older sibling (German Shepherd also) was named Mike. Let's see, there was Mike and Steve when I was a kid. Mine have been Oscar (English Pointer), Eddie (shep/afghan mix), Leon (pit mix), Alice (pit rottie mix), and Louie (shep/lab/hound/nutty mix). Yep, there might be a pattern here. :lol:

#15 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:50 AM

Oh... without a doubt. :ninja:



It was a while ago, probably Christmas of 1997 or 1998 but I know I've told stories from that day around here from time to time. Chris and I were dating, I was sharing a house with 2 roommates who were both going to their families for the holidays so Chris and I decided it would be fun to host Christmas for both of our families. Neither of us had ever done more than assist with cooking a holiday meal. It was also the first time our families were meeting. Against all logical and rational thought, we forged ahead. :lol:

Needless to say, hilarity ensued while we were cooking, including panicked phone calls to my poor mother at close to midnight. I'm still stunned at how well that meal turned out considering we were both in way over our heads.

Everyone got along great, we had a lot of laughs and dinner turned out really well. Probably one of my fondest holiday memories.


:rolling:

What the hell was it that you cooked a year or so ago that took forever? I think you ate at midnight or later. :lol: I'm thinking it was New Year's Day or something. Go ask Chris. :lol:

#16 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:53 AM

Ya know what I screw up... STUFFING! I almost nail it and then BOOM! My FAVORITE things about the holidays are gravy and stuffing. DAMMIT! :lol:

#17 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:56 AM

:rolling:

What the hell was it that you cooked a year or so ago that took forever? I think you ate at midnight or later. :lol: I'm thinking it was New Year's Day or something. Go ask Chris. :lol:


God only knows... we've had many cooking adventures over the years. :lol: I remember another Christmas when we were having a standing rib roast and the oven decided to turn itself off about an hour into cooking. All of a sudden, we realized that we didn't smell any beefy awesomeness coming from the kitchen. You know... like when kids are in another room and suddely it gets "too quiet."

We turned it back on, opened another bottle of wine and watched the oven like a hawk. Another tasty yet much, much later-than-planned holiday dinner. :lol: (We've had the oven repaired since). This might have been the story you're thinking of... this was about 2-3 years ago.

Yet my family is willingly letting me cook Thanksgiving this year. Can't wait to see what happens this time. :D

#18 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:58 AM

THAT'S IT!!!!!!! :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

#19 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:03 AM

THAT'S IT!!!!!!! :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:


Yeah.. that was a good one. Never a dull moment when I cook a major family meal. :lol: But on the bright side, we've managed to salvage our various adventures & kick out some pretty tasty holiday fare. Haven't had a clunker yet. My fear is that some day things are going to go nice and smooth, no misadventures or missteps, and dinner will suck. :lol:

#20 Julius

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:03 AM

Hey Bro, I thought you ate sushi at Taiko every night of the week. :lol:

#21 Ravn

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:08 AM

Kris, why do your dogs always have human names? :lol:


the dogs my family has owned in my life time:

Mindy
Kizzy
PeeWee
Gizmo
Snuffles
Bailey
Sally
Cheech
MaggieMae
Lily

#22 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:21 AM

Hey Bro, I thought you ate sushi at Taiko every night of the week. :lol:


We do make exceptions from time to time. ;)

#23 Mr Bo Berry

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:32 AM

I cannot master gravy. Mom is gonna try one more time to teach mecthis year. Stuffing I have mastered.

#24 TheDHJ

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:34 AM

Hmm...red eye gravy with turkey?

#25 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:34 AM

We do make exceptions from time to time. ;)




#26 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:35 AM

I cannot master gravy. Mom is gonna try one more time to teach mecthis year. Stuffing I have mastered.


How you doin'? :naughty: :lol:

#27 In A Silent Way

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 04:08 AM

I'm picking up a couple of foot-long turkey sandwiches from Subway. I will not be made to feel guilty that my ancestors settled on these shores. I will defeat Cap'n Crunch in Battleship.

#28 gregoir

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 04:57 AM

My relatives all make nasty and gross food for Thanksgiving. Gourmet gregoir comes out at Christmas :pimp:

#29 capt_morgan

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:22 AM

im sick of food...and im sick of cooking.



i like money though..

#30 PeaceFrog

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 12:14 PM

you mean those worthless shit-tickets you call a Federal Reserve Note?

#31 Tabbooma

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 12:19 PM

Preparing a good bird is an art form, twas helped build America... ;)

#32 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:16 PM

http://youtu.be/miBKPwVtxFU


Best. movie. ever. :v:

There's an old-school Chinese retaurant near us. We're thinking of going there for Peking Duck right around Christmas. :lol:

#33 china cat

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:20 PM

My mom is the gravy whisperer. :lol:


:lol:

#34 china cat

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 03:21 PM

Dad started it prior to my birth, I think he was hoping for a boy. :lol:


Let it out, Kris. We're here for you :lol:

#35 KrisNYG

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 04:24 PM

Let it out, Kris. We're here for you :lol:


:lol:

#36 nancykind

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:18 PM

our best turkey malfunction was the year everyone got drunk and the turkey fell onto the kitchen floor as it was being taken out of the oven. :thup:

#37 Slarti

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:24 PM

my favorite was
arriving back home to find the house inside engulfed in a heavy smoke,
rushing into the kitchen throwing the oven door open
finding the turkey in black char about to burst into flames :lol:

#38 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:17 AM

our best turkey malfunction was the year everyone got drunk and the turkey fell onto the kitchen floor as it was being taken out of the oven. :thup:


Five second rule. No problem. ;)

#39 PeaceFrog

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 06:35 AM

Posted Image

#40 TheDHJ

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 05:04 PM

Right?

#41 Ginger Snap

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:24 PM

musicmomma makes the best gravy ever. :grin: 



#42 Slarti

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:38 PM

this could be the last this could be last time this could be the last time, I don't know :lol:



#43 Slarti

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Posted 28 November 2013 - 07:47 PM

well I toad you once and a I toad you twice :lol: 



#44 Julius

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 06:57 AM

slarti!!!



#45 melissaphish

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 03:24 PM

One must always be sure to not cut their hand while carving the turkey...



#46 Slarti

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 11:04 PM

slarti!!!

J! :grin: :lol: 



#47 Slarti

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Posted 29 November 2013 - 11:08 PM

 I managed to avoid all manner of Thanksgiving type injury, I didn't cut myself, I didn't burn myself,



#48 TheDHJ

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 02:29 PM

:lol:

#49 Sensei Miller

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 03:20 PM



#50 TheDHJ

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Posted 01 November 2014 - 04:10 PM

Little known fact, I actually auditioned for that movie. :lol: