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Flirty texts or emails? Is this cheating?


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#1 concert andy

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:24 PM

Emotional cheating or something else?

#2 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:26 PM

Emotional cheating or something else?


If you are a jealous type, you'd probably see it as cheating. If you aren't, you probably don't care.

#3 Gypsy Bob

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:28 PM

It all depends on what you do if you get a "Positive" reply...

#4 concert andy

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:34 PM

It all depends on what you do if you get a "Positive" reply...


You do nothing. Never act on it. Just lots of emails or texts. Could go on for years, but remember never acting on it.



AND your sig other does not know about texts or emails.

#5 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:40 PM

Could go either way, and would depend on the relationship itself.

Jealousy people may take issue with it, while those who are trusting and mature might not care

#6 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:43 PM

Could go either way, and would depend on the relationship itself.


This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

#7 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:46 PM

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.


Exactly. Why hide it if it is innocent flirting? If you feel you have to hide it due to a jealous spouse, you might want to do some soul searching to be sure your partner is right for you. or just dont do it knowing it might cause conflict. YM, of course, MV.

#8 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:48 PM

Exactly. Why hide it if it is innocent flirting? If you feel you have to hide it due to a jealous spouse, you might want to do some soul searching to be sure your partner is right for you.


Or Seoul searching, if the flirty texts are with a Korean gal.

Just sayin'...

#9 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:49 PM

:lmao:

#10 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:49 PM

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.


Yup.

#11 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:50 PM

Or Seoul searching, if the flirty texts are with a Korean gal.

Just sayin'...


Or sole searching, if you have, you know, a "thing" for the fishies.

#12 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:52 PM

Or sole searching, if you have, you know, a "thing" for the fishies.


Or if youre into feet

#13 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:52 PM

Seoul sole sole searchin' for them with a Korean sushi foot fetish...

#14 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:59 PM

mind=blown

#15 KrisNYG

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:33 PM

You do nothing. Never act on it. Just lots of emails or texts. Could go on for years, but remember never acting on it.



AND your sig other does not know about texts or emails.


Problem solved!

#16 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.


Bingo. If you can't do it in front of my face, you shouldn't be doing it behind my back.

#17 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:48 PM

Bingo. If you can't do it in front of my face, you shouldn't be doing it behind my back.



Uhhhhhhh........ Think imma let that one go, or off to L&S with this thread.

Pervert.

:funny1:

#18 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

:julius:

#19 Feck

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?

#20 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

Uhhhhhhh........ Think imma let that one go, or off to L&S with this thread.

Pervert.

:funny1:


Wait... you're calling me a perv? Not denying it, but this is a real "Hello, pot... this is the kettle" moment. :D

#21 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:10 PM

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?


Threeway potential?

#22 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:12 PM

Threeway potential?


"Sweetiepie, I've been flirting with this woman behind your back via text, and I think we should go to bed with her."

Works every time.

#23 china cat

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:19 PM

"Sweetiepie, I've been flirting with this woman behind your back via text, and I think we should go to bed with her."

Works every time.


:lol:


if it feels sneaky, it prolly is sneaky. If you'd be worried about your S.O. seeing the messages, then prolly shouldn't be sending and receiving them.

#24 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:21 PM

if it feels sneaky, it prolly is sneaky. If you'd be worried about your S.O. seeing the messages, then prolly shouldn't be sending and receiving them.


QFT

#25 Julius

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:27 PM

Only if you're texting while getting a blowjob from 2 strippers.

#26 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:28 PM

:lol:

#27 Jwheelz

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:38 PM

so if it's only one stripper that's okay? :huh:

#28 HABIT

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:48 PM

yes its cheating...

#29 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 10:59 PM

yes its cheating...


unless no one minds

#30 Wende

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:00 PM

Not if I'm standing over his shoulder feeding him the lines to type. :naughty:

#31 Jersey Thug

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:05 PM

if it's you doing the texting and emailing, you're a dirty rotten cheater.

if it's Katie, i'm sure it's totally innocent, or she'd already have invited you to watch.

:lol:

(i agree with Tim, pretty much. if i had to put a label on it i'd call it emotional cheating, if nothing else ever comes of it. but the label isn't the important thing...it's the inevitable effect those actions have on your primary relationship that really matter. giving someone else the best of you leaves...well, what, exactly, for your real partner? not much, from my experience. that takes its toll. slippery slope'd.)

#32 china cat

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:12 PM

unless no one minds


give your partner the opportunity to mind (or not mind)

#33 Tim the Beek

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:15 PM

unless no one minds


Implicit, I think, in the OP is that someone would mind, or at the very least, that it hasn't been discussed to find out if that would be the case...

#34 gregoir

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:29 PM

but for real, I would be hurt if I found out Toddy was doing this for any amount of time without me. :( Yup. And I'm pretty damn secure.


Don't worry he only sends me photos but no flirty texts. :pimp:

#35 Julius

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:35 PM

so if it's only one stripper that's okay? :huh:


There is NEVER just one stripper! :lol:

#36 HABIT

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:37 PM

unless no one minds


one persons definition of flirting might be different from another, and the third party might not be privy to those differences.

why not just flirt with your S/O..

#37 Java Time

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:37 PM

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.


yeah...but it sounds a li'l creepy like "stiff sock tucked away under the bed" creepy.

KNOCK IT OFF AND FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ALREADY CREEPY WEB/EMAIL FREAKS!!! :joker:

#38 Eco

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:45 PM

Sort of cheating even if it's only in thought and not in deed. Also, I can't imagine many people have a strong enough backbone to securely laugh off their lover having an online love affair or whatever. The sinners (lol) that partake should look in webcam orgies and include their lover or stick to pron like normal folks.....or secret trips to Asian massage parlors .



#39 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:52 PM

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.

#40 Tad Dense

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:54 PM

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.


Hmmmph...sounds like something a Ron Paul supporter would say :nulo:

#41 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:59 PM

I see no correlation. But, affair implies something different. Maybe it is the strict definitions that got you. :dunno:

#42 butterqueen

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:03 AM

Andy, you son of a bitch, I am going through your phone!

Cheater!

:bash:

#43 KrisNYG

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:04 AM

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?


Committed relationship does not = dead. Sorry, if I'm with someone he must be pretty kick ass, to think someone else wouldn't pick up on that is absurd to me.
You either trust someone or you don't. You either have self confidence or you don't. IMO, it's really that simple. If I had a nickel for every time I was flirted with (I work in a lolrestaurant/concert venue/bar some nights) I'd have at least a few mortgage payments. Hell, I volley back pretty damn well too. I would not feel the need to keep it secret nor would I feel the need to make a phone call every time it happened. I was told today via FB PM that I had a fabulous ass. Quite frankly, I'd like to make a billboard out of that one since I always thought I was assless! :lol: If/when it crosses the line is when I'll handle it. I really don't get the secrecy or the need for full disclosure. But that's just me.

so if it's only one stripper that's okay? :huh:


YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

#44 Eco

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:06 AM

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.

think I added a "whatever" after love affair. Either way talking about having sex (think that's what people do when they flirt) on a regular basis is sort of an affair.

#45 butterqueen

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:06 AM

It's nice that there is an emoticon literally smashing a cell phone!

On a serious note, I'm very mellow about such things, and have never searched anyone's phone ever. Flirting is fine by me, though if it was some years long romantic email love affair from a distance or whatever, I would think that was weird.

#46 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:08 AM

Flirty entails dirty talk?! :shocked:

Ive been doing it wrong my whole life!

#47 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:10 AM

I flirt with the girl at the front desk of my building everyday. It's been going on for four years. She says good morning. I compliment her hair and different glasses, etc.. and she smiles at me. I ask her who she is texting when I go down stairs and see her on her phone. And she smiles and says things like "shhhhh" and we laugh about it.

Is this flirting?

#48 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:12 AM

Because that is what I have always called. I have never said, "say it baby do you wanna lay down with me? Do you wanna lay down by my side? Now say it, baby. Say it, baby."

But i would consider that more of coming on. I dont know. I'll shut up, brahs.

#49 butterqueen

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:19 AM

it's all a matter of degree...and largely depends on the person you are with. I have known couples where the man/woman goes through the phone, emails and scours all correspondence for anything inappropriate.

I could give a crap, you're either with me and happy or not.

#50 KrisNYG

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 12:35 AM

Because that is what I have always called. I have never said, "say it baby do you wanna lay down with me? Do you wanna lay down by my side? Now say it, baby. Say it, baby."

But i would consider that more of coming on. I dont know. I'll shut up, brahs.


:thup: :lol: