91 replies to this topic

[concert andy]

Emotional cheating or something else?

[hoagie]

Emotional cheating or something else?

If you are a jealous type, you'd probably see it as cheating. If you aren't, you probably don't care.

[Gypsy Bob]

It all depends on what you do if you get a "Positive" reply...

[concert andy]

It all depends on what you do if you get a "Positive" reply...

You do nothing. Never act on it. Just lots of emails or texts. Could go on for years, but remember never acting on it.



AND your sig other does not know about texts or emails.

[hoagie]

Could go either way, and would depend on the relationship itself.

Jealousy people may take issue with it, while those who are trusting and mature might not care

[Tim the Beek]

Could go either way, and would depend on the relationship itself.

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

[TakeAStepBack]

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

Exactly. Why hide it if it is innocent flirting? If you feel you have to hide it due to a jealous spouse, you might want to do some soul searching to be sure your partner is right for you. or just dont do it knowing it might cause conflict. YM, of course, MV.

[Tim the Beek]

Exactly. Why hide it if it is innocent flirting? If you feel you have to hide it due to a jealous spouse, you might want to do some soul searching to be sure your partner is right for you.

Or Seoul searching, if the flirty texts are with a Korean gal.

Just sayin'...

[TakeAStepBack]

[Spidergawd]

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

Yup.

[Spidergawd]

Or Seoul searching, if the flirty texts are with a Korean gal.

Just sayin'...

Or sole searching, if you have, you know, a "thing" for the fishies.

[hoagie]

Or sole searching, if you have, you know, a "thing" for the fishies.

Or if youre into feet

[Tim the Beek]

Seoul sole sole searchin' for them with a Korean sushi foot fetish...

[Spidergawd]

mind=blown

[KrisNYG]

You do nothing. Never act on it. Just lots of emails or texts. Could go on for years, but remember never acting on it.



AND your sig other does not know about texts or emails.

Problem solved!

[SunshineDrummer]

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

Bingo. If you can't do it in front of my face, you shouldn't be doing it behind my back.

[Spidergawd]

Bingo. If you can't do it in front of my face, you shouldn't be doing it behind my back.

Uhhhhhhh........ Think imma let that one go, or off to L&S with this thread.

Pervert.

[Tim the Beek]

[Feck]

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?

[SunshineDrummer]

Uhhhhhhh........ Think imma let that one go, or off to L&S with this thread.

Pervert.

Wait... you're calling me a perv? Not denying it, but this is a real "Hello, pot... this is the kettle" moment.

[hoagie]

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?

Threeway potential?

[Tim the Beek]

Threeway potential?

"Sweetiepie, I've been flirting with this woman behind your back via text, and I think we should go to bed with her."

Works every time.

[china cat]

"Sweetiepie, I've been flirting with this woman behind your back via text, and I think we should go to bed with her."

Works every time.

if it feels sneaky, it prolly is sneaky. If you'd be worried about your S.O. seeing the messages, then prolly shouldn't be sending and receiving them.

[Tim the Beek]

if it feels sneaky, it prolly is sneaky. If you'd be worried about your S.O. seeing the messages, then prolly shouldn't be sending and receiving them.

QFT

[Julius]

Only if you're texting while getting a blowjob from 2 strippers.

[Tim the Beek]

[Jwheelz]

so if it's only one stripper that's okay?

[HABIT]

yes its cheating...

[hoagie]

yes its cheating...

unless no one minds

[Wende]

Not if I'm standing over his shoulder feeding him the lines to type.

[Jersey Thug]

if it's you doing the texting and emailing, you're a dirty rotten cheater.

if it's Katie, i'm sure it's totally innocent, or she'd already have invited you to watch.



(i agree with Tim, pretty much. if i had to put a label on it i'd call it emotional cheating, if nothing else ever comes of it. but the label isn't the important thing...it's the inevitable effect those actions have on your primary relationship that really matter. giving someone else the best of you leaves...well, what, exactly, for your real partner? not much, from my experience. that takes its toll. slippery slope'd.)

[china cat]

unless no one minds

give your partner the opportunity to mind (or not mind)

[Tim the Beek]

unless no one minds

Implicit, I think, in the OP is that someone would mind, or at the very least, that it hasn't been discussed to find out if that would be the case...

[gregoir]

but for real, I would be hurt if I found out Toddy was doing this for any amount of time without me. Yup. And I'm pretty damn secure.

Don't worry he only sends me photos but no flirty texts.

[Julius]

so if it's only one stripper that's okay?

There is NEVER just one stripper!

[HABIT]

unless no one minds

one persons definition of flirting might be different from another, and the third party might not be privy to those differences.

why not just flirt with your S/O..

[Java Time]

This.

Rule of thumb, if it would make your partner uncomfortable if he or she found out about it...if it's something you feel you need to hide, then cheating or not, it seems disrespectful to me.

yeah...but it sounds a li'l creepy like "stiff sock tucked away under the bed" creepy.

KNOCK IT OFF AND FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ALREADY CREEPY WEB/EMAIL FREAKS!!!

[Eco]

Sort of cheating even if it's only in thought and not in deed. Also, I can't imagine many people have a strong enough backbone to securely laugh off their lover having an online love affair or whatever. The sinners (lol) that partake should look in webcam orgies and include their lover or stick to pron like normal folks.....or secret trips to Asian massage parlors .

[TakeAStepBack]

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.

[Tad Dense]

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.

Hmmmph...sounds like something a Ron Paul supporter would say

[TakeAStepBack]

I see no correlation. But, affair implies something different. Maybe it is the strict definitions that got you.

[butterqueen]

Andy, you son of a bitch, I am going through your phone!

Cheater!

[KrisNYG]

if they are married, or in a committed realtionship why would they feel a need to flirt with someone else in the first place ?

Committed relationship does not = dead. Sorry, if I'm with someone he must be pretty kick ass, to think someone else wouldn't pick up on that is absurd to me.
You either trust someone or you don't. You either have self confidence or you don't. IMO, it's really that simple. If I had a nickel for every time I was flirted with (I work in a lolrestaurant/concert venue/bar some nights) I'd have at least a few mortgage payments. Hell, I volley back pretty damn well too. I would not feel the need to keep it secret nor would I feel the need to make a phone call every time it happened. I was told today via FB PM that I had a fabulous ass. Quite frankly, I'd like to make a billboard out of that one since I always thought I was assless! If/when it crosses the line is when I'll handle it. I really don't get the secrecy or the need for full disclosure. But that's just me.

so if it's only one stripper that's okay?

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

[Eco]

I thought we were talking about flirting, not online love affairs.

think I added a "whatever" after love affair. Either way talking about having sex (think that's what people do when they flirt) on a regular basis is sort of an affair.

[butterqueen]

It's nice that there is an emoticon literally smashing a cell phone!

On a serious note, I'm very mellow about such things, and have never searched anyone's phone ever. Flirting is fine by me, though if it was some years long romantic email love affair from a distance or whatever, I would think that was weird.

[TakeAStepBack]

Flirty entails dirty talk?!

Ive been doing it wrong my whole life!

[TakeAStepBack]

I flirt with the girl at the front desk of my building everyday. It's been going on for four years. She says good morning. I compliment her hair and different glasses, etc.. and she smiles at me. I ask her who she is texting when I go down stairs and see her on her phone. And she smiles and says things like "shhhhh" and we laugh about it.

Is this flirting?

[TakeAStepBack]

Because that is what I have always called. I have never said, "say it baby do you wanna lay down with me? Do you wanna lay down by my side? Now say it, baby. Say it, baby."

But i would consider that more of coming on. I dont know. I'll shut up, brahs.

[butterqueen]

it's all a matter of degree...and largely depends on the person you are with. I have known couples where the man/woman goes through the phone, emails and scours all correspondence for anything inappropriate.

I could give a crap, you're either with me and happy or not.

[KrisNYG]

Because that is what I have always called. I have never said, "say it baby do you wanna lay down with me? Do you wanna lay down by my side? Now say it, baby. Say it, baby."

But i would consider that more of coming on. I dont know. I'll shut up, brahs.