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Bitchy Bookkeeper


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#51 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:17 PM

You need a couple bottles of Liquid Ass. Which could be the funniest product ever made.

http://www.liquidass.com/index.html

Seriously, check out some of the testimonials and videos. I MUST own some of this, stat.

#52 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:20 PM

Is that comparable to Liquid Schwartz?

#53 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

Nothing is comparable to Liquid Ass. Seriously.

#54 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:42 PM

I hear those effs down at the league office have a great sense of humor. :devil:

#55 August West

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:47 PM

My daughter and I assed the two local grocery stores. I sprayed about 10 sprays in each store and I became a victum of my own assing. I did puke this time. I did not know that I didn't need to use that much. The smell was instant. It was just awful and so funny. People just walked away from their carts and charged the exit door. One young cashier was gagging. I will be anxious when our only TV station reports on this . . . until then . . .

[3 days later]

Well I heard from several people around town that one of the grocery stores had their employees removing items off the grocery shelves looking for crap (poop) that they thought someone must have hid in the store. Classic!!!!!! Since my town is a packing house town, they thought someone must have took some hog poop and stunk up the store.

I tell ya' that BARFume is just as bad as the Liquid ASS. I barfed my neighbor's car this morning and the fumes from the BARFume makes you dry heave!!!!!! This is too much fun. I better slow down.
— Granny on the Loose

P.S. This has made my life so fun !!!!!!

#56 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

:lol: Best. Product. Evar!

#57 Chip

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

Working in IT and Tech I love the Annoyatron because it will make the kind of beeps most of th equipment makes when it is malfunctioning. It is hard to nail down the direction the sound is coming from and it is at random intervals so they can't time it out. A buddy and I got cut loose from a AV operator gig at the convention center, he left one of these on the underside of the Audio guys tech table in the main ballroom.


http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/8c52/

#58 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:36 PM

YES!! I have an annoyatron. SO much fun to watch your friend, family member or colleague slowly come unglued over a week or two. :devil:

#59 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:46 PM

What did you do to Karen! :joker:



#60 KrisNYG

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:53 PM

This woman has had it out for me since the first day I walked in the door, and I have no idea why.
I've never been anything but nice and polite to her.

She has bitched at me for using the wrong size paper clip.
She has bitched at me for parking 10" too far to the left, in a parking lot that isn't even half full.
She has bitched at me for forgetting to write in the log book when I am late, yet she never does the same and is late 4 out of 5 days every week.
She has bitched at me for writing the number 9 wrong. It looks too much like a 7.
The list goes on and on and on and on and on......
The boss has told me that she bitches about me so much, he isn't even going to tell me about it because he doesn't give a shit about it all.


IASW's long lost sister?

#61 BHB

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:00 PM

IASW's long lost sister?


:lol:

he hasn't posted on pics on FB of the infractions in awhile.

#62 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

Do tell! :gossip:

#63 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

What did you do to Karen! :joker:



:lol: She actually bought it for me, and I tortured some guys at my office.

One of the reasons she kicks so much ass.

#64 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:35 PM

Wish I could do something like that here, but with less than 20 employees (some with zero sense of humor) I'd be in deep doo doo.

#65 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:41 PM

You need a couple bottles of Liquid Ass. Which could be the funniest product ever made.

http://www.liquidass.com/index.html

Seriously, check out some of the testimonials and videos. I MUST own some of this, stat.


I must get this and torture everyone I know! :lol:

#66 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

I must get this and torture everyone I know! :lol:


If you come near me with that stuff, you'll be buried alive in flying monkeys.

Just sayin... ;)

#67 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

I must get this and torture everyone I know! :lol:


Dude, it's the best prank! I stashed one in a guy's office here. Pulled a ceiling tile and put it on top of an AC vent. I and another guy in on the joke watched this guy lose his shit over two weeks or so. It beeps randomly at between 2 and 8 minutes. You could watch through his window and suddenly he'd throw up his hands and the vein on his forehead would start to throb, and he'd tear apart his office looking for it. Classic.

I had to give it up when he actually started dismantling the smoke detector in his office! He's lucky, too, because my partner in crime was ordering one to put in the poor bastard's car! :lmao:

Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.

Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"

Friggin' awesome.

#68 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:04 PM

If you come near me with that stuff, you'll be buried alive in flying monkeys.

Just sayin... ;)




Sounds like a challange to me. :devil:

#69 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:09 PM

I can picture it now.... Everywhere Mel goes she is followed by incessant beeping. Kinda like Captain Hook and the crocodile.

#70 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

I can picture it now.... Everywhere Mel goes she is followed by incessant beeping. Kinda like Captain Hook and the crocodile.


Id hide this inside the social services office waiting room, or inside the DMV somewhere.

#71 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

And just as she's about to go over the edge, she gets LiquidAss'd.
Oh Vibes is going to be more funner than EVAH!!! :rolling:

#72 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:14 PM

:lol:

#73 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

If you come near me with that stuff, you'll be buried alive in flying monkeys.

Just sayin... ;)


Duly noted. I am terrified of flying monkeys. Thank you all who made that happen. :lol:

#74 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:35 PM

I can picture it now.... Everywhere Mel goes she is followed by incessant beeping. Kinda like Captain Hook and the crocodile.

And just as she's about to go over the edge, she gets LiquidAss'd.
Oh Vibes is going to be more funner than EVAH!!! :rolling:


Just wait until MLB gets woot monkey'd. The look of sheer terror on his face is priceless. :lol:

#75 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:39 PM

Dude, it's the best prank! I stashed one in a guy's office here. Pulled a ceiling tile and put it on top of an AC vent. I and another guy in on the joke watched this guy lose his shit over two weeks or so. It beeps randomly at between 2 and 8 minutes. You could watch through his window and suddenly he'd throw up his hands and the vein on his forehead would start to throb, and he'd tear apart his office looking for it. Classic.

I had to give it up when he actually started dismantling the smoke detector in his office! He's lucky, too, because my partner in crime was ordering one to put in the poor bastard's car! :lmao:

Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.

Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"

Friggin' awesome.


Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page. :lol:

(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)

#76 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:42 PM

Just wait until MLB gets woot monkey'd. The look of sheer terror on his face is priceless. :lol:


That really wasn't funny. :spank:

#77 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:43 PM

Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page. :lol:

(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)


Ok...I'm an idiot. Talking about two different things. I got it now. Back to your regularly scheduled program. :bang:

#78 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:47 PM

Ok...I'm an idiot. Talking about two different things. I got it now. Back to your regularly scheduled program. :bang:


Acapulco Gold'd

#79 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:47 PM

Fly my pretties, FLY!!!




Posted Image

#80 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:53 PM

Fly my pretties, FLY!!!




Posted Image


I had nightmares about those things for weeks after Strangecreek. I blame Gram-Man and Phishfolk among others. Bastids! :lol:

#81 hoagie

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

Fly my pretties, FLY!!!




Posted Image

Posted Image

#82 Spidergawd

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:15 PM

Ok...I'm an idiot. Talking about two different things. I got it now. Back to your regularly scheduled program. :bang:


:funny1: I just knew you'd figure it out.

#83 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:19 PM

Ok...I'm an idiot. Talking about two different things. I got it now. Back to your regularly scheduled program. :bang:




:rolling:

#84 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:22 PM

That really wasn't funny. :spank:


Sure it was! (For the rest of us)

#85 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:41 PM

:funny1: I just knew you'd figure it out.


I was focused on the Liquidass...not the Annoyotron. Don't ask me to multi-task on here. Posted Image

#86 KrisNYG

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 06:51 PM

I was focused on the Liquidass...not the Annoyotron. Don't ask me to multi-task on here. Posted Image


:rolling:

#87 JBetty

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page. :lol:

(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)



MLB's question about LiquidAss still has not been answered. :tapfoot:

#88 Mind Left Body

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 07:46 PM

MLB's question about LiquidAss still has not been answered. :tapfoot:



Posted Image

Welllllll.......we're waiting!!!!

#89 jme

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:04 PM

Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.

Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"

Friggin' awesome.


oh wow, added bonus. :lol: that's awesome.

#90 PeaceFrog

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 10:31 AM

sub-bookkeeper (or sub-bookkeeping) is the only word in the English language that has 4 pairs of double letters all in a row.

#91 Spidergawd

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:20 PM

MLB's question about LiquidAss still has not been answered. :tapfoot:


Alright, alright!

You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.

One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!

Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants. :lol:

Gold, Jerry. Gold!

#92 JBetty

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:28 PM

Too bad it's cold out, because BB leaves the windows of her car open in the summer. :devil:

#93 Mind Left Body

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:31 PM

Alright, alright!

You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.

One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!

Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants. :lol:

Gold, Jerry. Gold!


Oh man! The entertainment value of this stuff is through the roof. :lol:

#94 Spidergawd

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:35 PM

Dude, I had something similar, but not as potent from what I hear, a number of years ago. Only cost a few bucks, but I got more laughs per dollar than any other prank thing I've ever had.

I really have to place an order soon.

#95 hoagie

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:36 PM

Liquid ass



FACE

#96 JBetty

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:20 PM

Think a spritz between the driver's window and the outside rubber thingy would do the trick?

#97 jme

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:22 PM

Think a spritz between the driver's window and the outside rubber thingy would do the trick?


meh, I'd go for the air intake between the windshield and the hood. :thumbup:

#98 hoagie

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:25 PM

Alright, alright!

You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.

One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!

Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants. :lol:

Gold, Jerry. Gold!


Thats so mean!! :lol:

Seems like the perfect weapon for annoying loud campers at Vibes.

#99 JBetty

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:27 PM

meh, I'd go for the air intake between the windshield and the hood. :thumbup:



:rolling: Now we're getting somewhere!

#100 Spidergawd

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:29 PM

meh, I'd go for the air intake between the windshield and the hood. :thumbup:


Trust me, this could wreck someone's car, a la the Seinfeld BO stink episode. I find it's better (at least it was with my prior stink-stuff experience) to douse a paper towel with it and hide it in the car.