You need a couple bottles of Liquid Ass. Which could be the funniest product ever made.
http://www.liquidass.com/index.html
Seriously, check out some of the testimonials and videos. I MUST own some of this, stat.
Bitchy Bookkeeper
Started by
JBetty
, Nov 14 2012 08:52 PM
312 replies to this topic
#55
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- VibeTribe
- 8,746 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 02:47 PM
My daughter and I assed the two local grocery stores. I sprayed about 10 sprays in each store and I became a victum of my own assing. I did puke this time. I did not know that I didn't need to use that much. The smell was instant. It was just awful and so funny. People just walked away from their carts and charged the exit door. One young cashier was gagging. I will be anxious when our only TV station reports on this . . . until then . . .
[3 days later]
Well I heard from several people around town that one of the grocery stores had their employees removing items off the grocery shelves looking for crap (poop) that they thought someone must have hid in the store. Classic!!!!!! Since my town is a packing house town, they thought someone must have took some hog poop and stunk up the store.
I tell ya' that BARFume is just as bad as the Liquid ASS. I barfed my neighbor's car this morning and the fumes from the BARFume makes you dry heave!!!!!! This is too much fun. I better slow down.
— Granny on the Loose
P.S. This has made my life so fun !!!!!!
[3 days later]
Well I heard from several people around town that one of the grocery stores had their employees removing items off the grocery shelves looking for crap (poop) that they thought someone must have hid in the store. Classic!!!!!! Since my town is a packing house town, they thought someone must have took some hog poop and stunk up the store.
I tell ya' that BARFume is just as bad as the Liquid ASS. I barfed my neighbor's car this morning and the fumes from the BARFume makes you dry heave!!!!!! This is too much fun. I better slow down.
— Granny on the Loose
P.S. This has made my life so fun !!!!!!
#57
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- VibeTribe
- 1,493 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:34 PM
Working in IT and Tech I love the Annoyatron because it will make the kind of beeps most of th equipment makes when it is malfunctioning. It is hard to nail down the direction the sound is coming from and it is at random intervals so they can't time it out. A buddy and I got cut loose from a AV operator gig at the convention center, he left one of these on the underside of the Audio guys tech table in the main ballroom.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/8c52/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/8c52/
#60
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- VibeTribe
- 8,444 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 03:53 PM
This woman has had it out for me since the first day I walked in the door, and I have no idea why.
I've never been anything but nice and polite to her.
She has bitched at me for using the wrong size paper clip.
She has bitched at me for parking 10" too far to the left, in a parking lot that isn't even half full.
She has bitched at me for forgetting to write in the log book when I am late, yet she never does the same and is late 4 out of 5 days every week.
She has bitched at me for writing the number 9 wrong. It looks too much like a 7.
The list goes on and on and on and on and on......
The boss has told me that she bitches about me so much, he isn't even going to tell me about it because he doesn't give a shit about it all.
IASW's long lost sister?
#65
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- VibeTribe
- 1,792 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:41 PM
You need a couple bottles of Liquid Ass. Which could be the funniest product ever made.
http://www.liquidass.com/index.html
Seriously, check out some of the testimonials and videos. I MUST own some of this, stat.
I must get this and torture everyone I know!
#67
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- VibeTribe
- 13,522 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:56 PM
I must get this and torture everyone I know!
Dude, it's the best prank! I stashed one in a guy's office here. Pulled a ceiling tile and put it on top of an AC vent. I and another guy in on the joke watched this guy lose his shit over two weeks or so. It beeps randomly at between 2 and 8 minutes. You could watch through his window and suddenly he'd throw up his hands and the vein on his forehead would start to throb, and he'd tear apart his office looking for it. Classic.
I had to give it up when he actually started dismantling the smoke detector in his office! He's lucky, too, because my partner in crime was ordering one to put in the poor bastard's car!
Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.
Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"
Friggin' awesome.
#74
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- VibeGuide
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- 11,415 posts
VibeGuide
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:35 PM
I can picture it now.... Everywhere Mel goes she is followed by incessant beeping. Kinda like Captain Hook and the crocodile.
And just as she's about to go over the edge, she gets LiquidAss'd.
Oh Vibes is going to be more funner than EVAH!!!
Just wait until MLB gets woot monkey'd. The look of sheer terror on his face is priceless.
#75
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- VibeTribe
- 1,792 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:39 PM
Dude, it's the best prank! I stashed one in a guy's office here. Pulled a ceiling tile and put it on top of an AC vent. I and another guy in on the joke watched this guy lose his shit over two weeks or so. It beeps randomly at between 2 and 8 minutes. You could watch through his window and suddenly he'd throw up his hands and the vein on his forehead would start to throb, and he'd tear apart his office looking for it. Classic.
I had to give it up when he actually started dismantling the smoke detector in his office! He's lucky, too, because my partner in crime was ordering one to put in the poor bastard's car!
Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.
Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"
Friggin' awesome.
Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page.
(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)
#77
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- VibeTribe
- 1,792 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 05:43 PM
Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page.
(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)
Ok...I'm an idiot. Talking about two different things. I got it now. Back to your regularly scheduled program.
#87
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- VibeTribe
- 12,850 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 07:42 PM
Ok...So I'm a little confused. It's in an eye drop like bottle right? Do you need just a few drops or do you need to open the top and leave the bottle somewhere? What is with the beeping? I didn't see anything electronic on that page.
(I have been laughing out loud for the last 1/2 hour thinking about the mayhem I could cause with it)
MLB's question about LiquidAss still has not been answered.
#89
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- VibeTribe
- 5,289 posts
Posted 15 November 2012 - 08:04 PM
Special note: some older guys can't hear it since it's pretty high pitched. This was at first disappointing until I realized it was fucking with everyone who came to his office.
Visitor: "What's that damn beep??"
Victim: "What beep?"
Friggin' awesome.
oh wow, added bonus.
that's awesome.
#91
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- VibeTribe
- 13,522 posts
Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:20 PM
MLB's question about LiquidAss still has not been answered.
Alright, alright!
You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.
One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!
Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants.
Gold, Jerry. Gold!
#93
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- VibeTribe
- 1,792 posts
Posted 16 November 2012 - 01:31 PM
Alright, alright!
You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.
One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!
Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants.
Gold, Jerry. Gold!
Oh man! The entertainment value of this stuff is through the roof.
#98
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- VibeTribe
- 17,194 posts
Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:25 PM
Alright, alright!
You can get LA in either a spray bottle (for the airborne farty effect) or in one that squirts a very fine stream, for stealthy application to surfaces or directly on victims.
One of my first uses will be to spray down the entry vestibule to some hoity-toity, flowery-smelling store full of snooty soccer moms. Think Yankee Candle or Bath & Body Works. Imagine the lulz as they exit the sickly sweet smelling store with their bag of overpriced candles that smell like old ladies, and walk directly into a cloud of the breath of Satan himself. Oh, the hilarity!
Also recall a testimonial story from a while back where the perp was walking through an upscale mall at xmas time discreetly squirting people on the ass as they passed. Took a moment for the stink to hit them and to realize that everyone around them thinks they shit their pants.
Gold, Jerry. Gold!
Thats so mean!!
Seems like the perfect weapon for annoying loud campers at Vibes.
#100
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- VibeTribe
- 13,522 posts
Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:29 PM
meh, I'd go for the air intake between the windshield and the hood.
Trust me, this could wreck someone's car, a la the Seinfeld BO stink episode. I find it's better (at least it was with my prior stink-stuff experience) to douse a paper towel with it and hide it in the car.
