12 replies to this topic

[Julius]

Every once in a while I am blessed with the powerfarts of epic proportions. I mean we're talking part the red sea kind of stank power here, and very controllable too. . . you know, like you sense it coming and have like a 10-15 second window about where to let loose so can get away from your friends and deliver the goods where they belong.

When in powerfart mode, the objective is to 1. make sure someone else is blamed, and 2. bomb only those who you want to see suffer in the face of such massive destruction.

Last night I HAD THE POWER! heehee

We're at this club seeing Fred Wesley and a bunch of other funk/jazz guys who used to play with James Brown and security is just beyond terrible, well by SF standards anyway. One of the girls I'm with gets every single item taken out of her bag and scrutinized, some confiscated, I get some attitude just for being with them, basically a total shit show getting in.

So my bombs are pretty reliably clearing a 20' x 20' area each time and and there's sort of japanese screen thing between me and the security station so I can launch my WMDs through the screen, away from the crowd and into the security station without being seen. So I do. After a few of these I figure someone's gonna come out and try to figure out who the terrorist is so I make myself scarce . . .

well they identify some poor fat slob as the perp so I have my scapegoat. . . whenever another WMD is imminent, I just find this guy, and walk past him as I launch. As the night wore on, the poor guy found himself standing all alone with about 20' to the nearest brave soul.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

[Spidergawd]

:: slow claps & wipes away single tear ::

[Jwheelz]

[Spidergawd]

If I haven't already, remind me when I see you to tell you the Holiday Inn Express high school student ass-mageddon story.

[KrisNYG]

Every once in a while I am blessed with the powerfarts of epic proportions. I mean we're talking part the red sea kind of stank power here, and very controllable too. . . you know, like you sense it coming and have like a 10-15 second window about where to let loose so can get away from your friends and deliver the goods where they belong.

I would like to thank you again for "knowing your window"... almost always.

I bet chicken wings were involved in this incident. heh

You would have made Spidergawd truly laugh to the point of hysterical crying, had one not made it out successfully.

(((((((JP, kakhis, and glass elevators)))))))

[Spidergawd]

Hee hee hee!

[Julius]

It was homemade chili with enough habenero to wreak massive fiery havoc and enough jalapeño to provide slightly sweet overtones for my own personal enjoyment. I think the tomatoes provided the exceptional range and the beans allowed the gas clouds to endure in tact for 3+ minutes a pop.

[KrisNYG]

Hee hee hee!

To this day, I do not believe I have ever laughed that hard in my life. (((((((JP's shart story)))))))

It was homemade chili with enough habenero to wreak massive fiery havoc and enough jalapeño to provide slightly sweet overtones for my own personal enjoyment. I think the tomatoes provided the exceptional range and the beans allowed the gas clouds to endure in tact for 3+ minutes a pop.

So, I would have found it to be mildly spiced (the chili, not your farts).

p.s. hawt sauce should be in the mail by tomorrow. Achtung!

[Spidergawd]

It was homemade chili with enough habenero to wreak massive fiery havoc and enough jalapeño to provide slightly sweet overtones for my own personal enjoyment. I think the tomatoes provided the exceptional range and the beans allowed the gas clouds to endure in tact for 3+ minutes a pop.

You sir, have officially earned your ghostfarting merit badge.

[insolent cur]

crop dusting is an art.

[megmyster]

Haha, Julius great story! :-)

[Lemireacle]

[TEO]

Of course there were hot peppers involved!