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Ladies what does a man have to be to qualify to enter a relationship with you?


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#1 Royal

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Posted 29 September 2012 - 01:42 AM

1) Job holder?
2) homeowner?
3) apartment dweller?
4) College graduate?
5) good looking?
6) finacially idnependent?
7) nice to people?
8) pet compatible?
9) completely heterosexual?
10) music lover?


Well I got 4, 7 and 10 right and maybe 8

#2 KrisNYG

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Posted 29 September 2012 - 07:09 PM

1) Job holder? Yes (or actively looking due to lay off, etc.)
2) homeowner? Don't care.
3) apartment dweller? Don't care.
4) College graduate? Not a must but MUST be intelligent. Smart is hawt!
5) good looking? Yes. However, I rate personality higher. It can make someone better looking quickly or real ugly, real fast.
6) finacially idnependent? Yes. If I wanted to support someone I would have lolchildren.
7) nice to people? Yes but not too nice. Pushovers and doormats are NOT attractive.
8) pet compatible? MUST LOVE DOGS!
9) completely heterosexual? For me, yes.
10) music lover? YES! (the good kind, not the crap Gregoir listens to. lol)



I'll add:
- Must be crazy fun but not batshit crazy.
- Self confidence and pride without being an egomaniac, self righteous.
- Solid character.
- Honesty, trust and respect rank VERY high with me. You lie once that's kind of it (unless I'm asking if my ass looks huge in a pair of jeans, then it's okay. lol)
- Must be a good friend. You can tell a lot about someone by observing how they treat their friends.
- Must be comfortable in their own skin. If you don't like yourself, why the hell should I?
- Jealous types need not apply.
- Must be able to make me laugh... a lot.
- Must have their own interests independent of mine.
- There must be a superior mental connection as well as physical. If one is missing the other will train wreck pretty damn fast.
- Must have the ability to communicate and if a disagreement arises must be able to fight fair.
- I like men that can cook. Foodies are... reow!
- Must be killer in the sack. I have zero time for mediocre sex at this point in my life, I'd rather go without (and have)!

That's it for now, if I think of more I'll add. lol



And Ry, you have lots of awesome qualities... not just the ones you originally listed. :)

#3 Jwheelz

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Posted 29 September 2012 - 07:29 PM

I get the sense that financial independence and ambition (not insane ambition, but good goals that you're actively working towards) are really important things to be with any woman worth having in your life in general. At least motivation I mean. I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone but I know from the guy side of things I really don't want to ever have to regularly depend on my girlfriend/wife/significant other or whatever for my financial needs, been there and done that and it's not fun. I don't want to support someone myself so I wouldn't want someone supporting me. it's different I think if you have a good reason for being in a particular situation though. I haven't exactly dated much myself, but lately I'm starting to really figure out the difference between being attracted to someone and actually being interested in them. I think attraction is easier/much more common than interest and suitability for a relationship. I know I would rather be alone than with somebody who isn't good for me, even though being alone sucks sometimes, it's still better than being unhappy or unsatisfied with the person you're with. Okay I'm done, I'm not one of the ladies so I'll let more of them answer :lol:

#4 china cat

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Posted 29 September 2012 - 10:39 PM

resolves conflict well
openly communicate needs and feelings in an effective way/willing to be vulnerable
vegetarian is kinda important and similar values about food (support local. etc)
intelligent/intellectual curiosity/open-mindedness
kind heart/shows a lot of compassion
sexual chemistry
not moody
sees a relationship as a partnership/makes the partnership a priority
not jealous or controlling AT ALL/not needy
my dearest friend

i have all that :) (and he comes with all the bonuses of a college education, a job, cooking skills, pet compatibility, excellent taste in music, same values, lives in gratitude, but he does have really shitty taste in tv shows. lol).

I hope every human being is blessed enough to find this kind of relationship.. don't settle, work on yourself and be ready for the one who makes you realize what you waited a lifetime to find.

#5 china cat

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Posted 29 September 2012 - 10:42 PM

I get the sense that financial independence and ambition (not insane ambition, but good goals that you're actively working towards) are really important things to be with any woman worth having in your life in general. At least motivation I mean. I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone but I know from the guy side of things I really don't want to ever have to regularly depend on my girlfriend/wife/significant other or whatever for my financial needs, been there and done that and it's not fun. I don't want to support someone myself so I wouldn't want someone supporting me. it's different I think if you have a good reason for being in a particular situation though. I haven't exactly dated much myself, but lately I'm starting to really figure out the difference between being attracted to someone and actually being interested in them. I think attraction is easier/much more common than interest and suitability for a relationship. I know I would rather be alone than with somebody who isn't good for me, even though being alone sucks sometimes, it's still better than being unhappy or unsatisfied with the person you're with. Okay I'm done, I'm not one of the ladies so I'll let more of them answer :lol:


J

I really hope you find the most amazing partner and friend - you really deserve it <3

#6 Eco

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Posted 30 September 2012 - 02:31 AM

Interesting thread! I never knew people but so much thought into this sort of stuff....prolly better than winging it?

#7 Mama Kel

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Posted 30 September 2012 - 08:58 PM

Interesting thread! I never knew people but so much thought into this sort of stuff....prolly better than winging it?


I didn't at the time - I met Frank at 23, but I probably would now. Luckilly it has worked out. For the most part. Life is a compromise <3

#8 TEO

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:11 PM

Fire bush :coffee:

#9 Jersey Thug

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:12 PM

most of these things, i didn't even know i needed until i found them/him.

- stability. emotional, financial, and otherwise. situational chaos is okay, but some people seem to live in a constant state of flux and that's a big turn-off to me.
- honesty
- the ability to openly communicate his needs and desires, and hear and respond to mine
- the ability to be loving (and lovable) even when we disagree. cultivating the ability to handle conflict without aiming to hurt the other is a real gift to the people you care the most about.
- he has to be my safe harbor when life gets stormy...and be open enough to accept that i'm his, too.
- ability to laugh at me, at himself and at life in general. i love to laugh and a sense of humor is really important to me.
- sarcasm is okay sometimes, but sincerity is better.
- strong sexual chemistry. you either have it as a couple or you don't.
- a positive outlook on life
- a helpful person who takes pleasure in doing nice things for others
- manly energy. i love that my guy is strong and loves fixing things and opens doors for me and leads when we dance and...i could go on and on.
- self-assurance and the ability to be comfortable in his own skin...to like who he is with me and without me.
- an appreciation for music and other interests outside work and home life
- a deeply embedded personal code of ethics and the ability to stand up for it
- goals and interests that align with my own, and outside interests so i'm not his whole world
- intelligence. people are smart in all kinds of different ways so it isn't any one thing like a huge vocabulary or the ability to solve a complex equation that i look for, but a curiosity about the world around you and the ability to learn and grow through experience is super sexy to me.
- zero jealousy issues. ability to trust in us.
- the ability to recognize when situations or relationships aren't healthy for him and make difficult changes...to care enough about him/us to make good choices when it matters.

#10 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:34 PM

We're on the same page yet again, Miss Thug! :kiss:

#11 Jersey Thug

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:45 PM

no surprise there :hugging:

#12 Jersey Thug

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:45 PM

um wait...that is NOT : hugging : :lol: :lol: :lol:

#13 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:46 PM

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

#14 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:47 PM

Fire bush :coffee:


:rotf:

#15 TEO

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:49 PM

la la la la

#16 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 05:50 PM

la la la

#17 Tim the Beek

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 06:04 PM

la la

#18 hoagie

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 06:28 PM

la

#19 china cat

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 07:52 PM

l

#20 Tim the Beek

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 08:08 PM

.

#21 TEO

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 08:25 PM



#22 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 09:36 PM

Oh no you didn't, Miss TEO!!! Air Supply??? Really??? :lmao:

#23 TEO

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 09:44 PM

I figured once there was not even an l in la there was only one place to go.

#24 KrisNYG

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 09:49 PM

Good point!

#25 Jersey Thug

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 09:52 PM

1) Job holder?
2) homeowner?
3) apartment dweller?
4) College graduate?
5) good looking?
6) finacially idnependent?
7) nice to people?
8) pet compatible?
9) completely heterosexual?
10) music lover?


Well I got 4, 7 and 10 right and maybe 8


Ry, looking at your list i am reminded of the point i wanted to make, but i got sidetracked making my own list. sure, some of us have lists with lots of similarities. we're friends and we have a lot of the same likes and dislikes, have shared experiences and insight with each other that give us those "never again" thoughts about boys we've dated in the past, expectations of current loves, etc.

but in the end, only love matters. i know plenty of people who love someone who doesn't have steady employment (*cough* Jason *cough* - i've been un- or underemployed for over a year now, and he loves me more than ever). i owned a home and it wasn't so great...in fact, my dream home of 10 years ago has dropped in value over the 9 years since i bought it and will probably never recover that value. people who don't meet the traditional standard of beauty fall in love and stay in love all the time, so obviously that's not important to everyone. and i know plenty of couples, both in real life and on the boards, where one or both individuals aren't strictly heterosexual but are in a committed, hetero relationship where they are loved and cherished for exactly who and what they are.

so in the end, all you can do is strive to be the best YOU that you can be, and be the best for the person who falls in love with you. love them back, and be good to each other. don't get complacent and treat them like a fixture in your life that will never go away no matter what you do or don't do, and above all else don't be abusive when things don't go your way or you'll kill their love for sure.

#26 TEO

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 10:04 PM

One who loves more and one who loves better. :heart: :heart:

#27 musicfan

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 12:01 AM

If this thread was opposite... Guys what are you looking for....

1) A nice rack !


:bigsmile:

#28 Jersey Thug

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 01:19 AM

oh...and a man who can be unapologetically reflective, thoughtful and 'deep' when he wants to be.

deep is :naughty:

#29 cdrhead

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 10:52 AM

As I read the lists I noticed only Kris stuck to 10 answers , then I noticed nobody touched on what really matters until Thug said it.

I agree with everything mentioned...all good aspects but i could look past a few if I was in LOVE :heart:

#30 cdrhead

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:07 AM

And for the guys list....

2) not bat shit crazy
3) knows how to pay attention to a penis


and if I had to answer that list as a guy.....
1) sure would be nice
2) doesn't matter
3) doesn't matter
4) smart is good
5) my taste on looks varies but yes
6) yes
7) yes
8) yes
9) doesn't matter
10) yes

#31 Tim the Beek

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 01:42 PM

I figured once there was not even an l in la there was only one place to go.


Posted Image

#32 Jwheelz

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:00 PM

Ry, looking at your list i am reminded

[...]

so in the end, all you can do is strive to be the best YOU that you can be, and be the best for the person who falls in love with you. love them back, and be good to each other. don't get complacent and treat them like a fixture in your life that will never go away no matter what you do or don't do, and above all else don't be abusive when things don't go your way or you'll kill their love for sure.

As I read the lists I noticed only Kris stuck to 10 answers , then I noticed nobody touched on what really matters until Thug said it.

I agree with everything mentioned...all good aspects but i could look past a few if I was in LOVE :heart:


:Tabbooma:

#33 Jwheelz

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:01 PM

I would add to my original reply that love, true powerful love does make it easy to overlook things... and I think everyone deserves the benefit of not being judged harshly for who they are at the core :)

#34 TEO

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:10 PM

I would add to my original reply that love, true powerful love does make it easy to overlook things... and I think everyone deserves the benefit of not being judged harshly for who they are at the core :)


I beg to differ, true love does not compel one to overlook, but rather love combined with respect and compassion make idiosyncrasies accepted perhaps endearing, not overlooked or endured. :spank:

#35 KrisNYG

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:11 PM

Okay, here's the thing. This was about "entering a relationship". That kind of epic "in love" takes time! You can certainly love the person very much but it's a different kind of love, getting to know someone at their core does not happen over night. So there! :tongue: :lol:

#36 KrisNYG

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:13 PM

And if "in love" happens that quick, guess what... NOT GENUINE! :lol:

#37 Julius

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:20 PM

Ryan, what they want, and what they say they want, are the same thing exactly 1.300067895% of the time.

#38 KrisNYG

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:24 PM

Ryan, what they want, and what they say they want, are the same thing exactly 1.300067895% of the time.


No Julius, that logic applies to "girls". This thread clearly said "ladies" implying maturity, experience, and wisdom. We know what we want. :thup:

#39 TEO

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:24 PM

Yeah so, I am not really color picky. :censor:

#40 Smiles

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:00 PM

Great paper. At one time I aspired to work with Buss

Preferences in Human Mate Selection
http://homepage.psy....n_1986_jpsp.pdf

#41 Tim the Beek

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:06 PM

Great paper. At one time I aspired to work with Buss

Preferences in Human Mate Selection
http://homepage.psy....n_1986_jpsp.pdf


Nerd.

I can call you that, cuz from the quick scan I just gave it, I thought it was pretty interesting. Would read again.

#42 Smiles

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:08 PM

lol I ain't no nerd.

It also address Julius' point in that it shows correlations of reported preference with the characteristics of mates people actually marry.

#43 TEO

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:21 PM

Alright, alive and over 18, I mean 21. There, are you satisfied now!?!

#44 KrisNYG

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:28 PM

Yeah so, I am not really color picky. :censor:

Alright, alive and over 18, I mean 21. There, are you satisfied now!?!


:rolling:

#45 Eco

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:12 PM

We need a men's version of this for more creative lists. I have yet to see anything in this thread about if the potential mate owns a beer & pizza store and likes to invite her friends over um fun. No mention of fishing boats, timeshares, bank balances and other shallow stuff...WTF?

#46 TEO

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:16 PM

Sheep boots, don't forget the sheep boots.

#47 Ginger Snap

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 12:42 AM

apparently tax evasion. :lol:

#48 ladygingechilla

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 02:59 AM

It also address Julius' point in that it shows correlations of reported preference with the characteristics of mates people actually marry.

.Nerd

#49 hoagie

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 12:48 PM

This is a real conundrum, because usually what women say they really want, they end up not actually being happy with once they actually get it.

#50 cdrhead

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 12:52 PM

I think everyone knows what they want in a partner. Knowing when you have found that person is the hard part. Putting up a front is really easy for lots of people and first impressions shouldn't be ignored....I don't want a revolving door of people in and out of my life. It sure would be nice if it was a easy as checking off a list........

"You have tried to love where your heart does not. You have tried not to love where your heart has loved. Leave your heart alone. Let your heart love. Anything less than love is a form of judgment ......"