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The Hutzler 571B Bannana Slicer


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#1 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:43 PM

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"What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You think I have the energy to slave over your damn bananas? I worked a 12 hour shift just to come home to THIS?!" These are the things that can destroy an entire relationship. It got to the point where our children could sense the tension. The minute I heard our 6-year-old girl in her bedroom, re-enacting our daily banana fight with her Barbie dolls, I knew we had to make a change. That's when I found the 571B Banana Slicer. Our marriage has never been healthier, AND we've even incorporated it into our lovemaking. THANKS 571B BANANA SLICER!"


"As you may or may not know, I have 27 trained monkeys I use to do my evil bidding. Well, the younger monkeys teeth have not fully developed and so slicing a banana to feed them is a necessary chore. The adult monkeys used to have to chew up bananas and feed their young but not anymore with the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer. The adults are going bananas over this time saving easy product. No longer so they have to taste and chew the deliciousness banana without eating it teasing them like a teenage prom date.

Now, they can eat and enjoy while i feed the young by slicing the bananas into small pieces that's easy for them to digest, This product is aces in my book and if you have 27 trained monkeys that will help you take over the land of OZ, i highly recommenced this product. This product is more useful than a barrel of monkeys"

"I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way. "

:lol:

#2 KrisNYG

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:45 PM

:lol:

#3 Feck

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:50 PM

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives

#4 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:53 PM

"If God does not exist, then how is it that a banana fits so perfectly in this banana slicer? CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!"

#5 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:53 PM

there are 327 reviews :lol:

#6 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 07:58 PM

I am unable to figure out how to use this item. First I took it out of the package and placed the banana and the slicer in the same room together. A week later I returned only to find that the banana has now been turned brown by this weapon on banana destruction. So then I intelligently presumed that it required batteries. So I placed batteries, this ninja like fruit dispatcher and the aforementioned banana in the room together once again. Again, I return to find that not only is the banana brown again, but the device showed no interest at all in the batteries whatsoever. I have also determined that this device does not work as a baby sitter, nor does it do anything for my erectile disfunction. I tried threatening the device to no avail. Any help with the usage of this item would be greatly appreciated.

#7 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:02 PM

:rolling:

#8 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:03 PM

Let's just say the time I've saved repeatedly slicing bananas has finally be re-allocated to living out the true desire of my heart: meticulously cleaning a banana slicer! There is nothing more satisfying than pulling out my home dentistry kit and my banana-slicing floss (purchased separately-my only complaint in this review, hence the "4 star rating")and performing a little cleaning medical marvel day in and day out. Due to this Victorio Banana Slicer, I'm not only living out my dreams, I'm also prepared for my 3rd year of dental school and a life of making a difference, one banana at a time. Thanks, banana slicer!

#9 Tim the Beek

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:07 PM

I ain't fallin' for no banana slicer in my tailpipe!

#10 concert andy

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:09 PM

I ain't fallin' for no banana slicer in my tailpipe!

#11 Slave Self Promoted

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:16 PM

I can't believe anyone could be so inept as to think that they couldn't slice their bananas because they bent "the wrong way." All that person has to do is to buy the model 571C Banana Slicer that is for bananas that bend the other way. Although I prefer left-bending bananas, I got both the 571B and the 571C so that when shopping, I don't have to have the hassle of finding bananas with the correct polarity. I hope "Angle Was Wrong" sees the light and removes that harsh one-star rating for this indispensable product duo.

#12 Tim the Beek

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:20 PM

I just ordered 5 so I could take advantage of the free Super Saver Shipping. No more slicing bananas one at a time for me! :bliss:

#13 MeOmYo

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:21 PM

I have Parkinson's and I find it deeply offensive that people would make fun of a banana slicer. It is obviously for use by the disabled, and it has been a life changer for me. Before, my hands would shake so bad I would miss the banana completely and shank myself in the gut. I have saved on hospital bills and embarrassing confrontations from my controlling children. They said it was too expensive, that I was a crazy old man, that I would have to sell the farm to pay the bills. Well, I did. I bought 200,000 of them and I'm leaving them all to the Church of England.

#14 Tim the Beek

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:24 PM

:lol:

and I'm leaving them all to the Church of England.


Better to leave them to the Catholic Church. Anglicans will allow people to put rubbers on them. Then they won't slice bananas too well.

#15 Spidergawd

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:30 PM

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

YES!!! The next Three Wolf Moon product!!

#16 Slave Self Promoted

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:38 PM

I bought this banana caddy to transport my banana for lunch. EVERY DAY LAST WEEK i went for my banana and it was gone. EMPTY! Then I find little round bananas all over my string cheese and juicebox!!! Is this some kind of sick joke?!

#17 Tim the Beek

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:40 PM

I bought this banana caddy to transport my banana for lunch. EVERY DAY LAST WEEK i went for my banana and it was gone. EMPTY! Then I find little round bananas all over my string cheese and juicebox!!! Is this some kind of sick joke?!


I think you meant to buy a banana hammock...

#18 KrisNYG

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 08:56 PM

I think you meant to buy a banana hammock...


One of these...

Posted Image

OR, one of these?

Posted Image

#19 SunshineDrummer

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 09:13 PM

Could you warn a girl when you're gonna post something like that??? :wow:

#20 Jam Fan

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 04:01 AM

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#21 In A Silent Way

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 04:54 AM

We actually have one if these, but having not purchased it through amazon.com, I feel unqualified to write a review on their fine site.

I will say, by way of personal testimony, that this device is an effective alternative for pharmaceutical blood thinners and creates butter pats so perfect that I was offered a promotion when my wife's boss came over for dinner.



#22 August West

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:14 AM

i was on Amazon yesterday and this nifty item is in the top 25 in sales in their housewares department.

 

 

wtf



#23 nikkiblue

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

"I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way. "

 

 

 

OMG.. :lol:  



#24 Jam Fan

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:08 PM

a review of the Fox Run Banana Slicer:

 

This banana slicer is perfectly adequate and much cheaper than the top-of-the-line Huntzler 521, but I feel that the quality of the banana-slicing experience is not worth sacrificing for the cheaper price. What a dream it is to slice bananas with the Huntzler! This banana slicer leaves me feeling hollow and empty, without the deep satisfaction I feel from using my Huntzler 521 (or 520 or the classic 324).

I suppose I could use this one when I go camping, or any other situation where I need sliced bananas but am afraid of losing my Huntzler.



#25 unbroken_chain

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:48 PM

sleep lightly if the missus comes home with this version...

 

chefn-bananza-hand-held-banana-slicer-si



#26 Jam Fan

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:03 PM

sleep lightly if the missus comes home with this version...

 

chefn-bananza-hand-held-banana-slicer-si

 

another good review.

My wife came home from Williams-Sonoma with one of these. I locked myself in the bathroom, from where I am now typing this plea for help, and warning. THERE AREN'T ANY BANANAS IN THE HOUSE!