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Problems with Kindergarten teacher...already.

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#1 nanc e

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:13 PM

Hey guys - not sure if you remember me. Nance here from the old boards. Long time no see! :)

I'm posting as I'm seeking advice from other parents. I'm having an issue with my dd kindergarten teacher and not sure how to handle this one (she's my oldest so this is new territory for me).

For background: My dd came home from kindergarten on 9/11 and told me that her teacher taught them about the day that the planes went down due to some bad people who wanted to hurt Americans. Now in my opinion, I thought teaching them about 9/11 at this age was a little much. My daughter is smart, but sensitive and curious. We shielded her from this tragedy figuring we would address it when she's a little older. I was a little taken aback that her teacher talked to them about it, but also figured that I would not confront her - as it is a day that we remember and maybe I was being a little over concerned.

Fast forward to Monday and the teacher is teaching them the pledge of allegiance. However, as part of teaching them, she again brought up that America is the greatest country in the world and people in other countries are jealous of us...and they want to hurt us. Especially New Yorkers.

Now - I dont know the absolute context of this, however I think that is over the line (not to mention just plain inaccurate). My daughter has been so afraid, she has come into our room the last two nights to sleep with us. I work in New York City and I don't want her to be afraid every time mommy goes to work. I'm so angry, my gut is to go right to the principal and schedule a meeting with the teacher, principal and myself. If I don't get the answers I want, I'm thinking about transferring her to the other Kindergarten class.

Am I over reacting? Thanks in advance for some feedback.

#2 forestdancer

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 07:07 PM

I have a step son in school but my LO is only a couple months old so I may not be as much help but I do not think you are over reacting. However, its hard to know the context but this as affected your daughter and I think you should try to get a meeting with the teacher first.Is that something you can do? See what she has to say, of course if you do not like what she has to say talk to the principal and have her moved into a different class. Its such a touchy subject but it something that should be addressed just hard to say how strong to go at it.

#3 TEO



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Posted 26 September 2012 - 07:48 PM

After reading the book linked here: http://www.gathering...book-got-wrong/
I suspect that some teachers may be following a larger guideline regarding the topics you posted. Personally I think a meeting with the principal and teacher may be appropriate.
Perhaps first you can talk with some current teacher's you know (Again and Again for example) as well as some parents who have children that have already been through a couple years at that school.

Mama Kel has embarked on homeschooling and would be a great resource for that route.

#4 nanc e

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 08:13 PM

Thanks Ladies (and TEO - I miss you!!!)

My sister was a kindergarten teacher and one of my inlaws was a 1st grade teacher. Both agree that the teacher went to a place she shouldn't have and a meeting is in order. I also did some research on some teacher website forums that talk about how this age is really too early to talk about 9/11 and any sort of discussion on terrorism.

I guess the real issue is my anger right now. I fear that, if this woman feels that the content was appropriate, things are going to get ugly. I'm hoping having having the assistant pincipal there might put us in all in check. Also, i'm afraid that if I do respond emotionally, this teacher could take it out on my daughter. And if THAT happens - the wrath that will be unleashed by this mama will not be pretty. LOL.

#5 Mama Kel

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 09:17 PM

I am an early childhood teacher & I would NOT teach kindergarteners about 9/11. If it were brought up in class by a student, I would acknowledge the child & try to transition to another conversation. (Yes that was a very sad day....HEY LOOK AT THIS MARSHMELLOW!) But seriously, We do not teach kindergarteners about Pearl Harbor or World War II, why this?

I would be furious about this as a parent (my kids are in K & 2nd but we homeschool now). I would contact the teacher & say you want to talk to her about this & explain what has been happening w/ your daughter. I would say that as a parent I am uncomfortable with this topic being discussed with my 5 year old. She is too young to understand & she is now having nightmares and is afraid for the family's safety. If she seems gung ho about the topic, I would go to the principal. If that doesn't work, I would write a letter to the superintendent.

PS there is NOTHING in the NY state core curriculum standards that says ANYTHiNG about teaching this. Even if there was, you still don't tell them that people hate Americans & esp NYers & want to hurt us. That's ridiculous!!!

Where is erin on this topic??

#6 sarah b.

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Posted 30 September 2012 - 05:05 AM

Hey, Nance. I understand your concerns, and a meeting makes sense. Sending calm and support to you and ease and security to your bigger little one. <3

#7 Again and Again

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 07:57 AM

Hi Nance,

I'm sorry to read that you're having frustrations. It seems everyone who posted above me agrees with you, and I'm glad you found some support here. Good luck with your meeting, and I hope you are not presented with an opportunity to lose your cool. No need to unleash fury! Some teachers and administrators are real idiots from my experience. Go in and set a good example.

Good luck,

PS - with good parents like you and Larry, there's no way your baby girl will follow any wrong path presented by a kindergarden teacher anyway. Hang in there and trust yourselves.

#8 nanc e

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 08:34 PM

If it were brought up in class by a student, I would acknowledge the child & try to transition to another conversation. (Yes that was a very sad day....HEY LOOK AT THIS MARSHMELLOW!)

THANK YOU!!!! I know kids are going to bring up every question under the sun, but as an intelligent adult you have to know how to divert their attention.

Thanks all! It's good to know that I'm not crazy. And thanks Jason - I appreciate the vote of confidence. :)

Had an at length conversation with the assistant principal first - who was very nice and completely understanding. She agreed this was not a topic for kindgergarten and would have a seperate meeting with the teacher to further discuss. She encouraged me to have a call with the teacher and, wouldn't you know, 5 minutes later the teacher called...

Forty minutes later, the teacher and I landed in a good place. She didn't admit to calling other countries jealous of us and wanting to hurt us. However, I did catch her in a bit of a lie....When she said a kid asked what jealous meant, i asked her how did a kid out of the blue ask what jealousy was if you didn't bring it up? There were some things I didn't agree with her discussing. And again, I think it's easy enough at that age to divert, but what do I know. I think that now she is more aware of the impact of her actions, she will hopefully filter what she says. One can hope!

Thanks again everyone for all your advice and encouragement! It's much appreciated!

#9 Mama Kel

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:44 PM

So glad it worked out!!! Keep being involved & proactive in your child's education!!!!!