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Talking to your kids about things you don't really want them to know


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#1 melissaphish

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 03:01 PM

Last week was the first time Jim lied to the kids about illicit substance use. And I am sure it will not be the last.

How do you parents deal with those questions? "Did you ever..." "Would you ever...."

Tell the truth? Lie? Something in between?

I am not comfortable lying but I am also not comfortable telling the truth.

#2 hoagie

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Posted 18 September 2012 - 03:34 PM

:popcorn:

#3 Mama Kel

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Posted 20 September 2012 - 04:00 PM

I think it depends on the age of the kids. I don't thing elaborate answers are necessary, especially when they're young. My kids see it like cigarettes & alcohol - it's something adults do. period.

#4 Again and Again

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Posted 23 September 2012 - 03:13 AM

I've resented my parents lies (and the truths they hid) all my life. Always swore I'd tell my kids the truth. And that's what I do. It works for us.
Sometimes I have to find interesting ways to re-word the truth to make it kid-friendly, but I stick to the truth.

#5 Geminimoon

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:13 AM

We plan on telling the truth but setting very strong rules and regulations on what our kids will be allowed to do.

We figure if we don't talk about it and be up front about it then they would just lie to us like we did to our parents.

I will see how we do when we get to that stage.... thankfully I have a few years a head of us before we have to answer any questions.

#6 little frog

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:18 PM

i told them the truth so they could make informed choices.

#7 unbroken_chain

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:00 PM

The stronger the rulez, the greater the desire to break them.

#8 Ginger Snap

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:48 PM

They are going to learn all kinds of things you wish they didn't know pretty darn quickly, best to be as up front and honest I think, like LF ssaid, so you can help them make the best choices possible. If you're afraid to be honest with them, how are they ever going to be honest with you? .It's not like you have a moral objection to the things you are talking about, else you wouldn't be doing it. What is your main fear about being honest about it? That they could talk to other kids and someone that shouldn't know finds out?That's a legitimate concern. Is it that they might feel as teens that you condone it for them? Because that concern is easily dealt with, I mean just because you got a loan for a house doesn't mean you'd let her go out and get a condo right? I wish musicmomma would weigh in here because I really appreciate her perspective on this.