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i :heart: amazon


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#1 jnjn

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 03:24 PM

by far one of the funniest product reviews i've read in a while :lol:


Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Almost Idiot-proof blender. September 16, 2011
By M. B. Osborne
Amazon Verified Purchase
DON'T BELIEVE the BAD reviews of this blender! Some people could destroy an armored tank, because they are such idiots, they can't read and follow SIMPLE instructions, and don't know how to treat electrical appliances with a tiny bit of care and respect.

I bought this blender to replace my Cuisinart Smart Power blender, which was 500 watts, and served me quite well for over 2 years of very heavy usage. I searched HARD and read reviews on every make of blender out there to replace my Cuisinart. I was hesitant after reading so many negative reviews of them here, and elsewhere, but in the end, bought this Cuisinart because I had been so happy with my previous one - it still works, by the way, but the On/Off button is starting to wear out, and I wanted a little more power, because my smoothies have a LOT of frozen fruit, but not a lot of liquids, which seemed to strain my 500 watt Cuisinart more than it does my new CB-1400. I am fully confident that I made the best choice.

No shaking/vibrating/walking across the counter. SURPRISINGLY quiet (my old 500 watt Cuisinart was MUCH noisier!), and POWERFUL! It liquified the frozen fruit quickly, and beautifully incorporated enough air into the mix to make my smoothie "fluffy" and tasty, like a fruit milkshake.

This blender has 700 watts of power, and makes WONDERFUL smoothies, with hardly any effort at all. You need to put the liquids in first, then the frozen fruit or ice cubes, then fresh fruit and any additions (I like to add some protein whey powder and a spoon of Metamucil for fiber, along with a splash of sugar-free caramel syrup for an extra bit of sweet). You then SIMPLY push the On/Off power button, and the Smoothie button, and walk away. The blender does the rest, and 30 seconds later, tells you your smoothie is ready by beeping (fairly loudly!).

I too, like the "eat with a spoon," thicker smoothie, and reduce the liquid amount, but then expect some air pockets, because that is just the way blenders work, because they are not all powerful. When this happens, remove the cap in the lid and add just a splash more liquid. It's not rocket science, just a bit of common sense...If you follow the recipe suggestions, and try to have at least an equal amount of liquid to solids, you should not have much of an air pocket problem - Be aware that ALL blenders will have difficulties if there is too much frozen ingredients. It gets flung to the sides of the container, and away from the blades. That's not the blender, it's simple physics...Just try to have sufficient liquid in the blender, to prevent air pockets, and DO put the liquids in first. If you follow the INSTRUCTIONS, you should not have an air pocket problem.

Yes, if you use fruit with small seeds, like strawberries, there will be little seeds in your smoothie. DUH! And since the Cuisinart blends air into the mixture, they will not easily sink to the bottom of your glass, so you might have a bit of "chewiness" in your mix. Do not expect the blender to be able to puree seeds.

Depending on what you are trying to liquify or puree, you may need to run the blender for a couple of cycles, but unlike the reviewer "spoiled" on Blendtec and Vitamix, you will find that it does "chew up pretty much anything," if you give it a bit of moisture to work with...

The plastic lid is NOT a problem to get on, there is a clearly marked arrow on the front corner, which is the corner you place over the pouring lip edge. It's not that hard, unless you are an idiot, who can't be bothered to look...You simply align the lid properly, and then push down.

The glass jar is NOT that cumbersome or heavy, it is a glass jar. I much prefer it over plastic, because it does not scratch, leach any chemicals into your food, or weaken with age. Yes, it is heavier than plastic, but if you need to use two hands to lift it, you may be very old or very weak, but it is still manageable. Pouring is NOT a problem, so long as you tilt the pitcher back up reasonably quickly when you done pouring. If you dawdle, it may run down the outside of the jar, but that is purely "operator error." Those are the types of idiot who can spill coffee from a "no drip" spout, too...

Cleanup is simple. You unscrew the bottom, carefully remove the blades (Yes,they are sharp! They are supposed to be. Just handle them by the plastic base, and you'll be safe...), and rinse the parts with hot water, using a dish brush or sponge to wash the glass container if needed, and then let dry. You do not need to put this in a dishwasher IF you simply clean it as soon as you use it. That will help prevent 99% of any damage you might do to the jar. Again, idiots will find a way to damage something, usually due to careless actions.

Do tighten the screw on base with a slight bit of torque when you reassemble it (but NOT like you are trying to tighten a lug nut on a tire), and you will NEVER have a leakage problem. The rubber gasket does a fine job of preventing leaks. You don't have to be a strongman, just make sure it's secure. Unscrewing the base should be no problem, run a bit of hot water on the base if it is difficult to unscrew, and it will come off.

If you want a GOOD, powerful blender, and are not an idiot, get this one. It is WELL WORTH THE MONEY, and you will NOT be disappointed. Just use a bit of common sense with it, don't expect it to work miracles, and treat it with a bit of respect, instead of expecting it to be a steel plated, takes any abuse, chews through trees, type of appliance. No such animal exists.
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tldr'd i know, but still funny :lol:

#2 TakeAStepBack

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 04:24 PM

Posted Image

#3 Java Time

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 04:32 PM

:funny1:

I was going to buy that same blender but I had a hard time getting the lid on, the glass was too heavy and cumbersome and had problems pureeing strawberry seeds and pouring the contents was a hassle as it had dripping amd leaking issues when I dawdled :joker:

#4 Speckta

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:06 PM

instead of expecting it to be a steel plated, takes any abuse, chews through trees, type of appliance. No such animal exists.


Bullshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OmpnfL5PCw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnonj_84Ju4

#5 MeOmYo

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:11 PM

this person is REALLY into blenders and obviously takes review personally. :lol:

#6 jnjn

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:11 PM

does that thing actually blend marbles & diamonds, speckta? because if so, i WANT it! :funny1:

#7 jnjn

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:13 PM

this person is REALLY into blenders and obviously takes review personally. :lol:


don't forget...if you have trouble w/ this blender you're an idiot. or at least according to this reviewer :lol:

#8 hoagie

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:19 PM

:funny1:

I was going to buy that same blender but I had a hard time getting the lid on, the glass was too heavy and cumbersome and had problems pureeing strawberry seeds and pouring the contents was a hassle as it had dripping amd leaking issues when I dawdled :joker:

dawdle'd

#9 JBetty

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:41 PM

does that thing actually blend marbles & diamonds, speckta? because if so, i WANT it! :funny1:



So you can get rid of the teeth, too. :wink:

#10 Speckta

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:57 PM

does that thing actually blend marbles & diamonds, speckta? because if so, i WANT it! :funny1:


I've seen it blend iPods and iPads.

The crowbar demo is a rip-off, because a phone rings, and so he blends the crew's cell phones.

#11 jnjn

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 05:59 PM

:rolling:

#12 Spidergawd

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 07:15 PM



#13 JBetty

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 07:33 PM

:rolling:

#14 TEO

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 08:39 PM

:lol: