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Can anyone help me? I have a delicate situation to discuss


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17 replies to this topic

#1 suunshine

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 04:14 PM

what if you know someone you are pretty sure is abusing Oxycontin....but you are the only person in the world that he's always been able to trust no matter what. And you are afraid if you confront him, you will lose him, and even worse..he might take a turn for the worse? I'm talking a family member here.

i dont' know what to do...his gf just called me and told me what's going on, well her suspicions..and Im pretty sure that is what is going on.....

i don't know what to do :undecided:

#2 suunshine

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 04:21 PM

I did not need this on my 3rd day of quitting. This is much larger than me tho.....i don't want to lose him :(

#3 In A Silent Way

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 04:26 PM

There's not a lot you can do until he asks for help. An addict will deny there's a problem and get defensive when questioned.

:heart::heart::heart:

#4 suunshine

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 04:34 PM

i know...and i know this from experience with others...that's why I'm so scared :( Just sitting here typing it thinking about it i'm bawling...course i'm going thru withdrawl so, that doesn't help.

he lives in VA and I'm here in NY>...we are very close....but i don't want to alienate him. i want to talk to my family, but i'm afraid that if they say something, he will hate me...and it will make things work. what do i do?

#5 TEO

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 05:17 PM

You can express your concern and offer whatever support of which you are currently capable. :heart:

#6 suunshine

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 05:51 PM

and if he denies there's anything going on?

#7 Tim the Beek

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 06:14 PM

Might be best, especially considering the distance, to broach it sorta sideways - "Is everything ok/you don't seem your usual self/if you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you."

Leaves the door open for him to reach out without feeling threatened...

#8 TEO

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 06:36 PM

and if he denies there's anything going on?



Then you leave it that you are there for him in whatever ways you are truly able to be there. If you deem the situation to be life threatening, then there are larger things to consider with properly trained professionals.

#9 In A Silent Way

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Posted 10 January 2011 - 09:41 PM

Might be best, especially considering the distance, to broach it sorta sideways - "Is everything ok/you don't seem your usual self/if you ever need to talk, you know I'm here for you."

Leaves the door open for him to reach out without feeling threatened...

That's very good advice.

#10 suunshine

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Posted 11 January 2011 - 12:44 AM

i talked to him on the phone...told him i'm there for him, that nothing's that bad where he can't talk to me, and that he knows i will never judge him. *sigh* I hope he's ok :undecided:

#11 Erinisme

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Posted 11 January 2011 - 12:48 AM

if he's an addict and not ready to admit it nothing you say is going to help

what you told him reaffirmed that you are there for him no matter what

I hope he takes you up on your ear to listen...

#12 suunshine

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Posted 11 January 2011 - 02:27 AM

thanks everyone..it's exactly what I would have told someone, but sometimes you just can't see it when you try to take your own advice.

#13 sarah b.

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Posted 12 January 2011 - 09:07 AM

:heart:

#14 George

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Posted 14 January 2011 - 04:39 AM

I have a friend in AA who told me to put a hula hoop around my body and that anything outside that hoop I was powerless over. It is extremely difficult to see someone you love in that situation,but all you can do is extend a hand and offer an ear. The best way to recover is to make the decision onesself. I've seen people get clean and sober for others but it rarely sticks. Best wishes, I'll keep you in my thoughts.

#15 In A Silent Way

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Posted 14 January 2011 - 02:57 PM

I have a friend in AA who told me to put a hula hoop around my body and that anything outside that hoop I was powerless over.

That's great advice for festivals too. :lol:

Let the whirling dervishes and hoopers whirl.

#16 suunshine

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Posted 16 January 2011 - 01:09 AM

as long as they don't hit me :lol:

thanks everyone. His girlfriend confronted him,and luckily he told her what was going on. I talked to him about it..but he has no set plan yet on how he's gonna deal with it.

#17 roo

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Posted 19 January 2012 - 02:20 PM

hey dudette.. is there an update on this? (crossin my fingers for somethin positive!!)

#18 nikkiblue

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Posted 23 March 2012 - 06:19 PM

(crossin my fingers for somethin positive!!)


<3 Me too. Addiction sucks. How's it going?