what to do during the ceremony?

[Dr. Lostreality]

So we have no religious traditions to draw on, and no officiant cause we're getting a 'self-uniting marriage license.'

But we want the wedding ceremony to be more than just 2 seconds of us exchanging vows. (Especially cause CRB is doing a live painting during our ceremony- we need more than 2 minutes for him to do a painting!) :)

What we are definitely <b>not</i> having:
*an aisle, any kind of walking down an aisle (we are going to stand in a circle)
*male member of my family 'giving me away'
*an officiant
*anything religious
*also my parents and 1 brother won't be there, so would rather not have family specific things cause most of my family won't be there

What we are definitely having:
*Time where guests can speak if they feel moved to speak.
*some kind of vow exchange/ring exchange
*CRB Live painting
*guests will all sign the wedding license, also will possibly sign the painting that CRB paints.

So...what else can we do during the ceremony? What are ya'll doing? (or already did?)

[TEO]

Poetry readings
Songs
game of duck, duck, goose

[Jersey Thug]

the speaking/reflection period is usually long-ish...10 to 15 minutes, depending on the number of guests you have and how much time you'd like to dedicate to silent reflection. so make sure you set aside that time AND make sure whoever announces that intention to your guests is aware that you fully expect periods of silence and periods where people are talking...that's the point.

and let some of your closer invitees know ahead of time so they can be prepared to speak. some folks are not good at the off-the-cuff stuff and would not speak unprepared.

readings are good, too...poetry as TEO mentioned, or a song lyric, or an excerpt from a book meaningful to you both. someone could play or sing to you. sand ceremony? unity candle? hand fasting? i could pick Jason's brain a bit, as he's officiated at several ceremonies now. he's definitely done the sand ceremony in a couple, but they were both beach services, i think. sand ceremonkies are very popular here :lol:

[Jersey Thug]

OH and have you commissioned/ordered the ceremonial license everyone will sign yet?

[Dr. Lostreality]

I need to get a ceremonial license? what? Why can't everyone just sign the real marriage license?

[bsktcase]

I need to get a ceremonial license? what? Why can't everyone just sign the real marriage license?

I think there are a limited number of 'signature lines' on the license plus it's a legal document. I think it would be frowned upon to have a bunch of different signatures all over the place. I believe it's to be signed by you, your husband and a witness.

I'm not 100% sure about any of that, by the way, just speculating.

[Dr. Lostreality]

I gotta ask my friend who also just did a self uniting license what the license looks like..it's possible there's more room for signatures because it's based on quaker tradition.

If not...I don't know. Maybe we can have everyone sign the back of CRB's painting as witnesses?

[Jersey Thug]

i was going to say, the self-uniting license may have more lines or space so you'll want to check that out. also do you send the license in, like a traditional marriage license, or do you get to keep it?

i don't know if you'd want to restrict him in any way or if he'd be open to it, but maybe Jon could check out some ketubahs/ceremonial marriage licenses and incorporate signature lines or a space for that into his work? i think a collaboration between him and all your guests would be really cool, especially since you're doing a smaller thing and could make that manageable. just a thought, of course!

i ordered one online after looking at dozens of ceremonial licenses and ketubah sites. it looked like this, only it had an excerpt from our vows and other wording we chose rather than the stock verbiage shown:

http://proseandletters.com/Weddings/WedImages/WedPrints/ELEMENTS_400px.jpg

[vinandtonic]

you could have a couple of people do readings...
we did one from the Prophet by Gilbran about marriage and another was a Native American matrimonial poem.