Milarepa
12-27-2008, 03:37 AM
it was cute. these guys from NH were at the station platform this one redhead (Irish guy?) and he just struck up some thing with me by asking for two hundred dollars to give me a ride home. I talked him off with my imaginative mind and them he went to into asking me if I was a gay did several gay innuendo slander of anything I said back to him then went into if I was a virgin. I told him I was 36 he wanted to know why I wasn't married with kids I told him some irrelevant thing where scientists in a lab proved that the older breeding fruit flies had children that lived longer as the generations existed in this experiment. I explained this was my reason for not getting married (real reason is I am afraid of not meeting a woman I can truly click with and I am scared of loosing independence) all this time I tried subtly to get this guy to open his mind past object and sex and terms to get him out of his sexual prison and find his true path. I think I sparked his curiosity beyond his simple needle to blow off some tension with me. He even went over sat down next to me and I imediately tried to spark up some bs conversation. I told him I was Buddhist and he asked me if I had some (the grass variety "Buddha") I didn't of coarse. so this went on with me and him back and forth where I sense he wanted to conflict with me because he saw something in me he desired. (weather it was lust of need of spiritual tension I know not for sure.) t'll he got off in orient heights.
From my end I thought the guy was cool and I was pretty high and kept up with his teasing and was honest with every slandering question on my sexuality. No I am not gay I have no reason to be. I am not of a soul that is truly gay in the sense of the lifestyle and sexuality thats always been there nor am I curious past a desire to know all things. This guy was in disparate need of someone to teach him the truth. He admitted through a Christian cross I drew over myself out of curiosity to how he would react. He reacted with disdain over Judaic Christian Muslim believe in god. BUT I saw his eyes cry out for the truth from someone. He may also be a bit sexually curious over me. I have met others like him and have gotten some of that homo feelings. I don't frown on this. I see it for what it is. he needs the truth and I truly wish he is allowed to see it one day. I cannot teach him because I still am some years from stabilization of my being in regard to truth past things.
Please, don't be afraid of these people. They will make you very uncomfortable but they are lost! It is not their fault the way is fraught with so much pain love hate and compassion and such on the path to truth.
I ask that those that see and read these words take a moment and will the world to show him that there is much past sex. that it is a simple thing and being straight or gay isn't real things but paths for those who take it.
I ask from this you extend your will to the release of all prisoners of their self. please, show the people the open way the truth as it is beyond mind beyond spirit beyond conventionally conceived shape and form perceived by your mind.
From my end I thought the guy was cool and I was pretty high and kept up with his teasing and was honest with every slandering question on my sexuality. No I am not gay I have no reason to be. I am not of a soul that is truly gay in the sense of the lifestyle and sexuality thats always been there nor am I curious past a desire to know all things. This guy was in disparate need of someone to teach him the truth. He admitted through a Christian cross I drew over myself out of curiosity to how he would react. He reacted with disdain over Judaic Christian Muslim believe in god. BUT I saw his eyes cry out for the truth from someone. He may also be a bit sexually curious over me. I have met others like him and have gotten some of that homo feelings. I don't frown on this. I see it for what it is. he needs the truth and I truly wish he is allowed to see it one day. I cannot teach him because I still am some years from stabilization of my being in regard to truth past things.
Please, don't be afraid of these people. They will make you very uncomfortable but they are lost! It is not their fault the way is fraught with so much pain love hate and compassion and such on the path to truth.
I ask that those that see and read these words take a moment and will the world to show him that there is much past sex. that it is a simple thing and being straight or gay isn't real things but paths for those who take it.
I ask from this you extend your will to the release of all prisoners of their self. please, show the people the open way the truth as it is beyond mind beyond spirit beyond conventionally conceived shape and form perceived by your mind.