The "EX" Files

[lost-in-boston]

Do you want to hear them or do they make you uncomfortable??

I prefer to not share mine w/ an SO bc honestly I've had some shitshows and its just not something I'd like to relive.

I find that the more I learn about an Ex the more uncomfortable I get when she's around.
I feel like there's just no need for it. It was in the past, and if there's nothing left...then keep it to yourself.

Guess thats just my opinion...
what do you ladies think?? You want to know all about her?? Or would you rather just live in the "now" ???

[seany]

Not a lady, but I say live in the now, but remember your past. There's a reason (or 12) that they're an EX. But that doesn't mean there wasn't some good times, meaning, and - hopefully - lessons learned from it all. Hopefully that makes the person a better person moving forward with you ;)

[lost-in-boston]

Not a lady, but I say live in the now, but remember your past. There's a reason (or 12) that they're an EX. But that doesn't mean there wasn't some good times, meaning, and - hopefully - lessons learned from it all. Hopefully that makes the person a better person moving forward with you ;)

Always making me feel so great about myself Sean :heart: :)
thank you.

[little frog]

i really don't want to hear about past relationships, unless they directly relate to something important in the current relationship, and i don't talk about past relationships with a current SO.

i once went on a date with a guy who talked about his ex the whole date .. he didn't need a new gf, he needed a therapist

[sarah b.]

Not a lady, but I say live in the now, but remember your past. There's a reason (or 12) that they're an EX. But that doesn't mean there wasn't some good times, meaning, and - hopefully - lessons learned from it all. Hopefully that makes the person a better person moving forward with you ;)

I agree. I learn things along the way. If mentioning someone provides context helpful to a story, I'll mention them. Some things are private between a couple, and I tend to leave them that way. Do I want to know someone's ex's dirty laundry? Not really. But if it helps me understand why someone is xyz, I do want to know, 'cause it helps me know that person better. The people who have been in my life have helped me become the me I am today.

[lost-in-boston]

i once went on a date with a guy who talked about his ex the whole date .. he didn't need a new gf, he needed a therapist

:lol:
oh man...
yeah...then there are THOSE guys. :rolleyes:
and although they are sweet, they are not ready to start new.
plain and simple.

I dont share unless i'm asked, or unless it pertains to something relevant.
My ex was a total douchebag. There's just no need to rehash alot of the hurt I went through. I lived it wonce, I dont want to go there again.
Onward!!!

[Ginger Snap]

What Little Frog said.

[TEO]

I prefer to think of any guy I date, as a virgin with excellent sexual instincts.
I also prefer to keep my past in the past.

[SunshineDaydream]

:lol:
oh man...
yeah...then there are THOSE guys. :rolleyes:
and although they are sweet, they are not ready to start new.
plain and simple.

I dont share unless i'm asked, or unless it pertains to something relevant.
My ex was a total douchebag. There's just no need to rehash alot of the hurt I went through. I lived it wonce, I dont want to go there again.
Onward!!!


This was my Thursday night :rolleyes: Set up with the friend of a coworker. He was friendly, nice & cute. He kept telling stories about his week & the saga of one of his missing pet ferrets that turned up earlier that day. He and his 'brother' were spending the night at 'mommys' aka his ex..guess they share custody or something. After the 3rd or 4th mention of her, I was over it. Like dude if you're putting yourself out there to meet someone NEW, it aint gonna happen as long as you're dropping anecdotes all night long about the furry fam you share with Mommy/Ex (his name for her not mine & It def didnt help that ferrets kinda make me shudder.) And that I'm transitioning out of a pretty intense relationship myself, but kept that TO myself bc really? The 1st time you're meeting someone, bringing up your past baggage & life w someone else that you're supposedly trying to get over ?
No thanks :bolt:
The Quest continues on....

[lost-in-boston]

ferrets make me shudder too.

but wow...seriously?? You're a kinder person than I am bc I would have said something about it to him right then and there.

There's someone out there that won't be able to think of his ex when he's with you bc you're so fantastic Jami :)

[vinandtonic]

sometimes it's good to know about exes though...like the time I was at a festie with someone and we camped right next to an ex of his (at my suggestion--I had no idea that they had been previously involved. it was awkward and uncomfortable because I didn't know why she was so hostile towards me, and he didn't mention it until afterwards).

[Jersey Thug]

depends on the ex. and the SO.

Jason and i both have exes we're good friends with, so yeah, we know each other's stories - and exes. but he has some cool exes, as do i.

also, what B said about the past making us who we are now.

[SunshineDaydream]

There's someone out there that won't be able to think of his ex when he's with you bc you're so fantastic Jami :)

Aww :blush: You really just sent a ray of much-needed sunshine to my day this afternoon...thanks so much chica :heart: :heart:
Until then, I dont mind learning about exes..I'm just not willing to go from one emotionally-handicapped guy who still lives in the past & yearns for a love thats long-gone to another...ferrets and poor taste in music notwithstanding :funny1:

[yummy_taraleigh]

I like learning about x's. I am always intrigued with people and why they do what they do and how they got to be where they are now. It helps me know about the person more. It's the same reason I love E True Hollywood Story:)

[Mama Kel]

I always think I want to know & then am sorry that I know!:funny1:

I haven't been in this situation in well over a decade, but now i'd say the past is past

[lost-in-boston]

I always think I want to know & then am sorry that I know!:funny1:


This is EXACTLY how I feel.
Its like, oh ok, it helps me learn more about you...
then I'm like wait...she had a hot body?? :huh:
RATS :undecided:

[vinandtonic]

I like learning about x's. I am always intrigued with people and why they do what they do and how they got to be where they are now. It helps me know about the person more. It's the same reason I love E True Hollywood Story:)


I agree, for the most part. There are certain things I don't want to know, but a lot of what I went through with my exes explains a lot about me. :lol:

[Jersey Thug]

it's a fine line, for sure :lol:

i've had a few 'cringe' moments but i keep them in check, because for the most part i love how open J and i are about our pasts and wouldn't want him to start censoring his thoughts just to spare me a moment of jealousy or whatever. i have no doubt he's exactly where he wants to be right now.

[-anna]

i have to admit i never even talk about my past relationships most of the time and i never asked much about his for all of the reasons stated above. i have a few exes that are good friends still but i stopped thinking of them as exes a long time ago.
good thing ling loved me already - we traveled down to bonnaroo 04 with my friend (and old high school boyfriend) and his girlfriend but i forgot to mention to ling that we dated until my friend at camp in tn brought up his prom and me kissing this other guy - boy did that conversation suck! my old friend was still pissed about crap from 12 years ago and then ling was all wha wha what? we'd already driven 17 hours down there together and would have to drive another 17 back and we were all sleeping in one tent - so everybody had to deal with it but quick!