Evolution of Liberals and Conservatives

[wowzers]

I thought I would repost this. Try not to get up in political arms.:lol:

[QUOTE]The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women.

The rest became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone
who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get
more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off./QUOTE]

[Blendix 007]

That's awesome.

[Shake Yer Bones]

:lol:

[0ne]

i call shenanigans.

i like imported beer and i'm no liberal

[PeaceFrog]

Liberals are better lovers.

I've never heard of a hot piece of elephant.

[wowzers]

Liberals are better lovers.

I've never heard of a hot piece of elephant.

Touche

[PeaceFrog]

I think liberals have better music and dancing too. Think about it... line dancing and country vs. The Grateful Dead and Phish.

I like the artistic expression of liberals much better than conservatives. Ballet is conservative. Look how boring that is. Guys in spandex. Not my cup of tea.

[PennsylvaniaPete]

Going by this, conservatives are better at starting war.

[Joker]

Have there really been more wars under democratic presidents than republican presidents?


In the twentieth century, every war has been led by a democrat in the white house with the exception of the Persian Gulf Conflict. WWI, Wilson, WWII, Roosevelt, Korea, Truman, Vietnam, Johnson. People will say its the republicans in congress, but since 1931, the republicans have been inpower a total of 16 years, many times the democrats held a filibuster proof majority, especially during the vietnam war, at one point in the 70s, there was a 74-16 democrat majority. and even so, the president has to present it to congress and sign it into action.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090121095931AA74kmB

[wowzers]

Where does it even mention war?

[mule64]

I think liberals have better music and dancing too. Think about it... line dancing and country vs. The Grateful Dead and Phish.

I know many onservative Dead Heads and Phish heads.What makes it liberal music, talking out of your ass again.

[teabag]

I always thought liberals were to busy putting on panties
to accomplish anything

If you ever saw some old dead pictures with jerry and the boys shooting of there guns, Right there doesn't show a very liberal picture

Why are liberal better lovers because they like showing things up there asses and everyone elses !!!

[mule64]

Peacefrog is making shit up again to try to justify his liberal agenda, again.

[SunshineDrummer]

Where does it even mention war?

It doesn't. But someone always manages to bring it up during these discussions.

[Phishfolk]

Come on people this is a serious debate! :lol:

[Joker]

Tastes great

[SunshineDrummer]

Tastes great

:lol:

Anyway, I though you were a Bud Lite fella?

[PeaceFrog]

I know many onservative Dead Heads and Phish heads.What makes it liberal music, talking out of your ass again.

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0dNH6nw6JUfLV/610x.jpg

I haven't seen any pictures of Bob, Phil, and Mickey in front of a McCain poster. Look at Phil's shirt. Even Bob is wearing a pin. Do they look like conservatives to you?

And another thing, what makes you think liberals can't shoot a gun? We want gun control, not prohibition. There's a huge difference. Apparently, you just don't understand.

Only mule64 could get all riled up over this thread.

PWND

[PeaceFrog]

Oh and you know what GOP stands for?

Grandpa's Old Politicians

[PeaceFrog]

Republican Definitions

alternative energy sources - n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.

bankruptcy - n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations

class warfare - n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

compassionate conservatism - n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

free markets - n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.

global climate change - n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.

God - n. Senior presidential adviser.

gun control - n. The index finger, usually on the right hand. No other definitions or usage.

laziness - n. When the poor are not working.

leisure time - n. When the wealthy are not working.

liberal(s) - n. Followers of the Anti-christ.

ownership society - n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.

pro-life - adj. Valuing human life until birth.

staying the course - interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result.

tap water - n. Arsenic storage device.

voter fraud - n. A significant minority turnout.

Wal-Mart - n. The nation-state, future tense.

[teabag]

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0dNH6nw6JUfLV/610x.jpg

I haven't seen any pictures of Bob, Phil, and Mickey in front of a McCain poster. Look at Phil's shirt. Even Bob is wearing a pin. Do they look like conservatives to you?

And another thing, what makes you think liberals can't shoot a gun? We want gun control, not prohibition. There's a huge difference. Apparently, you just don't understand.

Only mule64 could get all riled up over this thread.

PWND


maybe oldage is setting in

dude man why are we suporting this guy
he wants change
of what
beats me

Dude what were you saying

I don't know just strum on your guitar


seriously thought you think more gun control will help with the illegal guns that are on the streets that are killing our youth ? Why punish the law abidding citzens that get there guns legally and in a heart beat will protect your ass from one of these thugs that are shooting up our streets. You think the cops are going to protect you :lol: It is every citzens responabilty to protect oneself, there family and fellow man. It is not the role of the government to raise us, feed us, protect us, care for us.
As for the dead and the sixties movement weren't those guys mostly anti government?

[deadheadskier]

What I like about the liberal view point:

1. Acceptance for your fellow man....human rights
2. No church in Politics
3. Basic rights for all; liveable wages (but only if you're willing to work for them) affordable health care and education / training
4. Overall more equitable distribution of wealth...no bull shit gifts like Capital Gains tax not being considered income.

There are certain aspects of Conservatism that I can go along with too though. I'm anti-union for sure because it's innefficient and often breeds lazyness; I'm anti - welfare towards those who take advantage of the system.


, but the anger I get from the vast majority of Conservatives being Jesus worshiping, Gay hating bigots puts me off so bad that I have a hard time ever listening to their point of view because they'll always be playing towards that hater base. Their environmental standpoint sucks too. They make a bigger deal about pointing out the 'craziness' of the global warming preachers, than the global warming preachers do themselves. There is plenty to debate about global warming, but there's nothing to debate about certain activities being bad for the environment. How some conservatives suggest we should turn a blind eye towards those in favor of economic development is completely beyond me. Selfish bull shit is what it is.

bipartisanship completely sucks

and hence, this thread fucking sucks.

The world would be a better place if conservatives and liberas would both quit being so damn selfish and work together towards whats best for all of humanity.

I don't think Peacefrog or mule64 has it in either of them.....both completely fucking selfish for their own agendas and unwilling to listen and respect the opposite view point. It's the GOTV version of the division in this world and what I feel is wrong.

Conservatism and Liberalism in this country is quickly growing to be as divisive and irrational as the Jews vs the Palestinians in Gaza.

pretty pathetic if you ask me.

[PeaceFrog]

You know what deadheadskier, I agree with you about 98%.

The only thing I have to disagree with is about unions. I agree that they have their problems and aren't perfect, but they're the best option out there for an average person to make a decent living.

[jagermonster]

well said dhs.
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[jagermonster]

pfrog there are plenty of other options imo.
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[deadheadskier]

You know what deadheadskier, I agree with you about 98%.

The only thing I have to disagree with is about unions. I agree that they have their problems and aren't perfect, but they're the best option out there for an average person to make a decent living.

I'd rather see legislation for livable wages and affordable health benefits than Unions. My problem with Unions is that it becomes nearly impossible to fire someone for being a crap employee once they secure a job with a Union.

...and the best option out there for a person to make a decent living is to get off their ass and work harder than the next guy. Control your own destiny, move to where the decent jobs are and work your ass off and you'll make it. I'm no where near where I want to be in life financially and personally. I don't make enough to have the kind of home for my family that I want and even worse is I have literally five vacation days a year to enjoy myself outside of work. But....I'm jockeying my position such that my next employment move addresses those two short comings a bit better.

It ain't always easy, trust me, I've lost jobs before and been kicked down the stairs plenty despite my efforts. I fall down, I get up and I keep trying because I want a better life for myself and my loved ones.

Some people struggle in this nation because they're dealt a bad hand in life, far more struggle because they're unwilling to work hard enough to overcome life's challenges.

[Don Nucka]

um...........liberals drink good beer. Conservatives drink amerischwill

[PeaceFrog]

I'd rather see legislation for livable wages and affordable health benefits than Unions.

They kind of go hand in hand. You can't really have one without the other.