Why am I so freaked about grandparents at the hospital

[Its me Barbie]

So this is really bothering me for some reason.... All the grandparents want to be at the hospital when I give birth to Drew. I have strongly ruled out being in the room with me. I pretty much said no way. Just me and Jim and the doctors...

But now they all want to be called when I go into labor. They want to be in the waiting room while I am giving birth and that is just freaking me out. We are having him at a birthing center and the waiting room is very close to the rooms. Like what if I want to walk around or something... I will see them... Are they gonna like pound down the door when he is born and just bother us like crazy. I am a pretty private person by nature. Jim too. I want to have Drew and then call them when we are ready to have visitors. Which won't be long but I wanna be ready to have them all around us.
(I will have to call my parents a bit sooner because they are hours away and with my dads job he could really be anywhere in the world.)

I am just scared I am going to upset them. I mean they have all said they want to be called when I go into labor. They have all done so much already and I totally acknowledge that... I do. I don't know... Am I being selfish? Someone here at the office said it is their right to be there. Is that true. Am I that off in my thinking here?

Any hospital stories you guys wanna share? Any advice.. Anything..

[fire_rocket]

You aren't off in your thinking at all. This is YOUR baby, and YOUR birth experience, and if you feel uncomfortable with them being there then that's your choice as well (and I mean Jim's baby and choice etc too). If you want to avoid confrontation before you go into labor you could always call them AFTER it happens and just let them know that things moved quickly and you didn't have time to call them. Or you could just let them know ahead of time that you will call them as soon as the baby is born and they'll be the first to meet him.

You're not being selfish at all. When I was in the hospital waiting for my c-section my parents as well as Bill's parents were there. I felt a little bad that they were waiting for so long, but that was out of my hands. It felt a little funny to worry about them when I was so focused on my baby though, and that may have distracted me a bit from the experience.

This is YOUR experience and you shouldn't be made to feel bad that you want it a certain way. You will only have your first baby once so do it the way YOU want and don't feel bad about it! :heart:

[Drop_o_Rain]

I told everyone no and that we would call when the baby was born.

they might have been slightly hurt, but why should my feelings be hurt just to spare theirs....

no one is right or wrong in this situation. you aren't keeping them from the baby... just making them wait 3 friggin' hours.

by the way... everyone is over it now..... but i wouldn't have been. i needed that time by myself.

[hippiechickme]

This is your birth. You can and should have the birth you want. Birthing a child is the most beautiful thing in the world, but it is also the hardest work you will ever do. This should be done in the most peaceful relaxing setting possible. Just tell the grandparents that you appreciate them wanting to be there and will call just as soon as you feel ready to have visitors, but that birthing your child is something you want to do with only your husband.
Happy wonderful easy birthing vibes to you!!!

[Nevrmore]

It's you and Jim's baby. No one elses. Have the birth that YOU GUYS want. The only people around me during my labours were the drs, nurses, Mike and LadyCrow. I would call them after and let them know the baby was here. Lie if you have to, blame the Dr. but don't let them guilt you into doing something you don't want.

[Joia]

no. My midwife told me that if I didn't want someone there she would lock the door and not allow them in the building. Don't call them until you're pushing (or until you're home, your choice)

I didn't want my mother in law at either one of my births, but my husband did. Luckily things worked out where his family couldn't come. We fought about it a lot. He really wanted a full house and I really only wanted him and my sister at my births.

Just don't even discuss it. Let your man know how you feel. If he doesn't support it, let it go for now. Tell your midwife how you feel and she will support you 100%.

It's your birth too and your feelings matter. :heart:

[Sunny Sunshine]

Everyone here has hit the nail right on the head :) The decision is up to you and Jim. And if your family doesn't like, well, they'll deal with it. You don't want to be distracted during such an amazing event, and I don't think that anyone can blame you. Trav and I plan to do the same thing when our time comes around :heart: Do what you want, not what everyone else does :heart:

ps - I'm so excited for you!!! Less than a month now!

[Mama Kel]

Everyone has given great advice. You are not being selfish at all. I felt the same way. If you feel uncomfortable telling them yourself, the nurses on the floor are awesome at that.

They deal with this all the time. They can put the grandparents in a waiting room that you won't walk past & tell them that the hospital does not allow extended family.

You do whatever makes you comfortable. Right now it's a focus, once that baby is born all will be forgotten:heart:

[georgi]

Somebody at work really said it's their right to be there? Wow. :crook:

If you don't want people there until you are ready, then that should be the plan. People shouldn't be barging in and stressing you out.

I don't think people will be upset. If anything they should understand! They've been there! Good luck to you, Barbie. :heart:

Can't wait can't wait can't wait!!! :crazy:

[Its me Barbie]

Yeah someone said it. Not in a mean way but it got to me...

Thanks for all the advice! My plan right now is to do nothing when it comes to the grandparents. Roll with it and just wait to see when Drew decides to come.

[little frog]

Somebody at work really said it's their right to be there? Wow. :crook:

co-sign .. what a weird thing to say.

"no" is a perfectly fine answer to the request for everyone to be in the hospital with you while you give birth. i just wanted my mommy there (and my husband too of course) .. don't let anyone stress you out at this point in your planning, grandparents and co-workers included. practice saying no now, before the baby is born.

:heart: :heart: :heart: happy birthing!!

[Its me Barbie]

practice saying no now, before the baby is born.

:heart: :heart: :heart: happy birthing!!

Oh the truth in this! I need to learn soon how to say no. Especially to my mother in law. She intimidates me sometimes.

Thank you... I am excited to give birth :heart: