I need to vent on many levels...

[irieday]

I am not sure where to start so I will just start typing.
I was in a car accident in 2006.
It was not my fault. Some woman decided to answer her phone and hit me at full speed while I was stopped at a red light.
From that day on, I have had an array of problems because of this.
I want to start crying just thinking of it all.
My back is all messed up, I have major anxiety issues with driving and not being in control, and my jaw is all messed up.
Ok so that is just the physical/mental stuff.
Monetarily I had to buy a new car with no money and have been in debt because of it. I miss have a stick shift car and am still mad that I had to buy a car pretty much immediately after the accident because I didn't have money for a rental car.
So flash forward several years.
I am now in a case with her and we will be going to court soon.
As you may know I recently moved to CO.
And now I need to pay, with my own money to come home for the Independent Medical Exams, which her insurance dictates.
They are being completely unaccomadating with me with scheduling.
They couldn't schedule me when I was home for Christmas and they are not making it easy for me to make this appointment
On top of all this I have been jobless since August.
So, I schedule the IME(Independent Medical Exams) and I have my flight home-2 weeks after I was home for Christmas. Got an incredible deal on the flight....good to go.
So....fast forward to my present situation.
I just got offered a job! WOO HOO all excited, great perks....lodi da.
Ends up the training for the job starts the exact week I am home for my IME's. (YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT MISS TRAINING AND THEY ONLY HAVE IT AT THIS ONE TIME, so you have to be there)
So I try to have my one IME that overlaps switched to next week. All booked up.
SO I either don't take the job or miss the IME which will ultimately effect my case.
I need the job! I am so frustrated and angry all over again that this woman is going to ruin another opportunity for me.
So I try to re-schedule the IME for a later date....problem is they can't give me a final date for the training to be over, which means I can't schedule yet another flight and another appointment. And if I wait they won't have any openings. So I am not sure what to do.
So....I am talking to my mom yesterday and she was upset for me and understands my frustration and I got all upset.
Every time I think of this case I just cry. I cry at the pain this woman has caused me, I cry at the stress I am enduring because of it and the pain that I am going through.
My mom hits it on the head and says, "Honey, I understand that you are hurting but we are coming to a time where you need to forgive this lady. She is causing you harm. This isn't good for you. She didn't purposely hit you."
And I understand all this. I am just still (several years later) so angry at her. And for those of you who know me I am not an angry person so it is tearing me apart. I can't relax, I am stressed, I am angry.
I need to let it go and just let this whole situation be what it is.
But on top of all these feelings I am having I really want and need this job.
Not sure what to do....thought typing might help me.
:'(

[jemita]

i think you answered your own question or stress and i think your mom is right on it. i think letting it go is the healthiest thing, you might actually heal.... having this stress in you is holding you back, mentally and physically. i know its not fair, not cool, and well all around fucked up, but mama sometimes we have unfair situations in our lives we need to grow from, gain character from and learn something from right?

i hate that this is goin on so long, hate that you are stillin pain, but i know deep inside you have the ability to forgive her, grow from it, start a new life God asks us to forgive our enemies, pray for them, really pray He works in their hearts, it will come back to you, i promise, you will get what you deserve miss nemeth, it might just not be from a court case.

i love you so much!

[vinandtonic]

oh Britt, that really sucks.
I agree with Jemita though...you need to just let it go. Holding grudges just generates negative feelings, as you can so clearly see for yourself.
I would call the insurance company and tell them that you got offered this job, and you can't possibly miss the training. In these economic times they can understand the importance of a job. if not, get your lawyer to MAKE them understand (I assume you have one associated with this case?).
Why can't you get these IME in CO? And why do you have to pay for your travel expenses? That is just BS. Talk to your attorney, and if you don't have one, I would suggest talking to cur or someone else who may be able to give you some advice.
It's not as if this case is going anywhere right now..the job is more important.

best of luck to you :heart:

[lost-in-boston]

oh sweetie I'm so sorry that all this is going on :heart:

I agree w/ your mom and Jemma so I'll head in a different direction...
know anyone who can do some reiki on you?? Even just for your own internal healing benefits. Could help release some of that anger that you're holding on to. I can't even for one second imagine you being angry w/ any one person ever. :eek1:

I wish you all the peace in the world. You're a talented, loving, sweet, caring, gorgeous person inside and out. You dont deserve to be carrying all this stress with you right now....

I hope typing helped....if that doesn't all you can do is breathe and think positively. (easier said than done I know).

lovelovelove to you sweets!

[yummy_taraleigh]

everything everyone has said.

i love you britt!!!

[Jojo]

Britt I hope this weight gets lifted off your shoulders soon! :heart:

[sums]

oh britt... i'm so sorry that's all happening to you! :heart:

check this out. it has helped me IMMENSELY:

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php

[Mama Kel]

No advice, just positive thoughts &:heart::heart::heart:

[Mama Kel]

Although on 2nd thought, if you end up with permanent damage to your back & jaw & you drop the case it could be a huge problem for you

[jemita]

its already a huge problem :(

[Mama Kel]

true :heart:

[HoopsTer]

While I agree with letting go of the anger that you are holding, I do NOT agree with letting go of this case. I do understand that she did not intentionally hit you. But there is a reason things are called accidents- they arent intentional and there's also a reason people are required to carry insurance.

The insurance company is dicking you around because their attorneys get paid big money to do so. They are simply trying to make your life hell and make the situation intolerable so you will drop the case and the company doesnt have to pay out. You definitely need to have you attorney address this as soon as possible. If you dont have an attorney, you should get one. :undecided: If this is a national insurance company it is unreasonable for them to require and IME in New Jersey if they have offices in CO or somewhere closer to you.


So sorry your hurting Britt :heart:

[Bonsai]

That is such a shitty situation! I'm sorry. What a conundrum. Can you talk to the hiring manager and at least get an estimate of when the training will most likely end? They have to have some idea of how long it usually lasts, right? Then maybe you could talk to them about having to leave at the estimated time and schedule a flight for the exam for right after that.

Congrats on getting a job at least! (I'm still looking, and my temporary transfer ends next Friday, after which I will be jobless with no unemployment.)

Good luck!

[Mama Kel]

I've known people who have gotten in car accidents, had neck probs, etc & then years later ended up in so much pain they couldn't work. Something to consider

[Nicole Hal]

OK I am going to say...... yeah yeah mom is right with the whole forgive, but I understand things starting to go your way and it seems like this women has to come in and piss you off. I remember this saying someoen told me once when I was going through some "problems" :-)
God only gives you what he knows you can handle.
Honestly though, just focus on the idea that you have a new job, you are able to purchase a plane ticket and eventually everything will work out. I promise that! What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger!

[Erinisme]

oh miss britt...how i love the lovely lady :heart:

You're right this is 100% shittacular! It isn't fair, you shouldn't have to go through this...but you do. life has ways of throwing us curve balls..with a lesson at the end.
Than being said...you need to stop being mad at this woman, but don't let the case go. Insurance is there for a reason...they need to pay your damages. I really beleive once you let your anger go, this case will resolve itself.

I'm sorry this is such a shitty situation. I"ll be home all day tomorrow and if you want me to call and yell at people I will(I'm good at getting my way).
ps....have i told you lately that i love you?

[sure-ur-rightdancer]

having dealt with some insurance stuff in the past I also 100% agree with definitely getting your lawyer involved - from what I understand if you hurt yourself in your car (even if its your fault) your own insurance should cover it - so things like your dr visits etc should all be covered by your insurance company regardless of the outcome of the suit.
In the past when I was in an accident my insurance company provided me with a lawyer to fight the other lady and get her insurance to cover what it should.... I am not sure if this is a MA thing or everywhere as I know MA has some funky laws. Insurance companies are definitely out there to protect their own money and will do anything they can to get you to drop the suit or settle for less. If for some reason you aren't able to get a lawyer you should at least try and get the scariest jerkiest person you know to call - someone who won't put up with their BS and won't back down

as for the lady - have you written her a letter about how much she hurt you (physically & emotionally)? don't send it of course but maybe getting it all out would help. Another option is therapy - it sounds like you have some post traumatic stress from the situation maybe just having someone to tell the whole thing to would help you start to work through it. I think saying to just let go and forgive is a great idea but if you could do that and were ready I don't think you would write this.... maybe you just need a little help getting healed before you can start down that road

PS congrats on the job...its great that you found something...it sucks that it has to be like this though!

[Erinisme]

If for some reason you aren't able to get a lawyer you should at least try and get the scariest jerkiest person you know to call - someone who won't put up with their BS and won't back down

!

me me me!
I can bring ghetto thugs to tears...I can tackle the insurance company...and i have some pent up anger that could use a good outlet

[sarah b.]

:heart:

[mountain mama]

:heart:

[little frog]

oh Britt, that really sucks.
I agree with Jemita though...you need to just let it go. Holding grudges just generates negative feelings, as you can so clearly see for yourself.
I would call the insurance company and tell them that you got offered this job, and you can't possibly miss the training. In these economic times they can understand the importance of a job. if not, get your lawyer to MAKE them understand (I assume you have one associated with this case?).
Why can't you get these IME in CO? And why do you have to pay for your travel expenses? That is just BS. Talk to your attorney, and if you don't have one, I would suggest talking to cur or someone else who may be able to give you some advice.
It's not as if this case is going anywhere right now..the job is more important.

best of luck to you :heart:


co-sign :heart:

[fire_rocket]

:heart: sending you some strength and good vibes to deal with this situation. :heart:

[SunshineDaydream]

Hi Britt :)
Everyone's advice has been so spot-on...I just want to remind you to just b-r-e-a-t-h-e. You're a wonderful, amazing person who doesnt deserve to be going through all this, but I know its going to make you a stronger woman in the end. One little piece of this f'ed up puzzle at a time!
Tons of lovin' vibes from Pomona :heart:

[SunshineDaydream]

PS-As for the offer for Erin to call to the insurance co, I gladly offer my glowing recommendation :wink: That girl could reduce a grown man to tears in less than 3 minutes :lol:

[Luna]

:heart:

[irieday]

Hey Everyone-
Thanks for all the responses. I am just reading some of them now.
I feel much better then when I first wrote this message.
So much has happened since then.

I ended up changing my flight for a lot of money so that I could get this job.
That whole part worked out.
I have a lawyer and actually had to fly home for my deposition and my Independent Medical Exams (IME's).
I made it through all of those.
Thankfully.

Now much of this is out of my hands.
I am slowly forgiving this woman for causing so much pain.
I know she did not intentionally do this.

And at the moment I am more upset with NJ laws and the fact that she is being more protected than me for disobeying the laws.
Basically I need to prove my pains are permanent to be refunded any of the money I have put out.
When it comes down to it I have to have faith.
I believe that I will be ok with all of this monetary stuff.
That I will be justly refunded and taken care of for all of my pain that has happened and is happening.
The truth is there and I can only express it.
I am an honest person and I feel that the other lawyer and doctors see that.
If they don't or try to play it off; it is out of my hands and their karmic debt is there own.
This will work out and I TRULY appreciate all of the support.
I was at a real low space and you all reached out.
So thank you!

[sums]

i'm glad you're feeling better and things are working out :)

[sarah b.]

:) :heart:

[Erinisme]

oh britt i'd always send you a rope! I love you so!

[vinandtonic]

:heart: :heart:

[bsktcase]

me me me!
I can bring ghetto thugs to tears...I can tackle the insurance company...and i have some pent up anger that could use a good outlet

Can I give you my boss's phone number?

In all seriousness...I agree to pursue the case. Maybe she is regretful of what she did but that doesn't solve anything. You were injured at her fault (a stupid fault at that) and these injuries could haunt you forever. Of COURSE the insurance companies are going to try to make this difficult for you.

I hope you find a solution to your problem soon.

[Bonsai]

I'm glad to hear things have turned around for you! Awesome. :V:

I ended up applying for a permanent position in my current company. Even though the commute is hellish, I may be able to carpool with someone from the city if I try hard enough. Because of this they extended my temporary situation. I should find out whether I got the position hopefully next week. It's looking good but you never know. I'm really hoping I get it!

[Erinisme]

PS-As for the offer for Erin to call to the insurance co, I gladly offer my glowing recommendation :wink: That girl could reduce a grown man to tears in less than 3 minutes :lol:

this could have somthing to do with why I'm dateless tonight :lol:

[Wende]

There are no accidents. Only carelessness

Thats quite the story. And to think people can get blamed for making coffee too hot or having their children get fat while eating McDonalds. But this idiot woman comes and carelessly messes up someone elses life and nothing is being done promptly to make it right again. (if that's possible) Sad sad world we live in.

Mama, if you are true and good.... it will ALL work out for you. It will all eventually fall into place for *you* Keep on keepin on and keep that smile and trust that it always works out for the good guys. :)